| And asking for a little bit of help never hurts.
I received a pretty long and emotional email from a man in his fifties who has practically been living a sexless marriage for over a decade.
He wrote about his experience applying the Four Keys to Revival inside my Revive Her Drive program. After some persistence and consistency, he was finally seeing MAJOR progress.
Bob (name withheld) and his wife were no longer touching each other. They were no longer showing any affection. Scroll down to read the story.
If you are single, please scroll down to the bottom of this email and click SINGLE. REVIVE HER DRIVE
What made things worse was while he wasn't allowed to touch his wife (because she believed it would initiate sex), she was getting more "friendly" touches from other male friends.
However, after A LOT of persistence and consistency, he was able to peel off the layers that were keeping him and his wife apart in their relationship.
They both discovered that all they wanted was a REAL, loving relationship with each other.
Bob didn't want any mercy sex, and he let his wife know it wasn't what he really wanted from her. His wife actually LOVED hearing about this.
Now she often offers him uninhibited sex sessions out of the blue. And the progress just keeps rolling in.
Bob man-scaped for the first time, which the wife really liked. He also received his first BJ in forever. His wife is even allowing him to engorge her genitals now. Great job, Bob and Missus!
They now have sex once every 2 weeks, which is a huge step-up compared to a decade of near zero lovemaking.
Bob wrote to me and asked for some advice on continuing the positive progress.
Here's exactly what I wrote back:
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Dear Bob,
Thank you so much for sharing these details.
First of all, congratulations for taking so much action and learning so many things.
Secondly, you have made incredible progress! I mean, stop and smell those roses, man.
Really, really WELL DONE!
I am so proud of you getting up to sex every two weeks.
My favorite part is making her slow down. My second favorite part of your progress report is that you finally stopped walking on eggshells and talked about your desires. My third part is that I am proud of you for refusing mercy sex.
Way to take control. It's working. Yes!!!
Here's what I'd do next...
The kiss on the cheek response is a tell tale sign that she's liking the affection.
Make a "deal" with her that you won't push for sex more than every two weeks right now, but that you are instigating a cuddling plan with her.
Read these Best Hug In The World articles and see if you can hold her until she relaxes:
• Why Is He Hugging Her Wrong? (Partner Exercise)
• Best Hug In The World - How To
Try and establish a cuddling plan where you hold her at night or in the morning, maybe during TV watching... anytime... a couple times a week. She's going to be ADDICTED to this and it's going to start getting her oxytocin flowing.
As she starts to be disarmed by the hugs, you can begin a "stealth" touching program. I've attached The Passion Patch as a thank you for being an AWESOME customer. In this book are stealth touch techniques that subtly awaken her sensuality.
Once you've started the cuddling, you should be able to touch her more frequently in non-sexual ways without her recoiling.
This could take 8 weeks or longer, so don't rush as that will backfire.
Think of what you're doing being like training a puppy to like being petted. You start slowly and build up over time.
As well, try "catch and release" touching (explained in detail in The Passion Patch). When you can get her to the point where she isn't alarmed or triggered by your touches, you can approach her and just give her a little hug and release her and walk away. A hug and peck on the cheek, or kiss on the forehead and BAM!, you're gone... That will leave her WANTING MORE. This works!
Start adding in the Passion Patch techniques little by little... seeing what she begins to respond to.
Once she starts liking your touch and affection, you can tell her the kinds of affection you'd like from her.
Think about what you'd like. Explain in simple detail what makes you happy. And then if she does anything affectionate, make a big fuss over her and give her verbal approval. (More puppy training.)
Within the next 90 days you will see a vast improvement.
If you also blend in some romance... so she remembers why she fell in love with you... that will accelerate ALL of the above activities.
Bring on the fun romance. Flowers, chocolate, perfume, love notes, walks in the park... these classics are PROVEN strategies. No need to overthink what is romantic.
Let me know how you do. I am super happy to get this update.
Report back!
Love,
Suz
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See, guys?
Persistence and consistency truly pays off!
You don't have to rush things. Like I told Bob, it's like training a puppy to be petted. Slow and steady is the goal.
Think about the LONG TERM benefits!
Now, this is why asking me for help also helps other guys.
By me helping Bob, I'm also indirectly helping YOU with your own relationships.
You may not be in the same boat as he is, but the advice I gave is as valuable to him as it is for you and for all the other men, women and couples who are part of Personal Life Media's Insider's Club.
So keep asking me questions! Send me a ton of emails! I LOVE reading them, and I LOVE responding to them.
After all, that's my job! I'm here to help men, women and couples achieve the best relationships and sex lives EVER.
Have your own relationship success story!
Share The Love,
Suz
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Susan Bratton
Dr. Patti Taylor
Sloane Fox
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