| If you want to increase your (or your lady's) sexual desire, consider focusing your attention on the four cues...
In, "Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life," by Dr. Emily Nagoski she presents research findings on a survey about factors for female sexual desire.
Researchers* asked women what turned them on and found the results divided into four general categories:
1. Love and Emotional Bonding Cues
2. Explicit and Erotic Cues
3. Visual and Proximity Cues
4. Romantic and Implicit Cues
No Sexual Advice Please ⇐ Click here and you will only get Relationship Advice HELP A GIRL OUT
Love and Emotional Bonding Cues
Understanding how you (or your lady) feels most loved, secure and emotionally connected and then creating those feelings for her consistently will increase her desire for lovemaking. (This is what my Relationship Magic exercise helps you put into words so your partner can create those feelings for you.)
Explicit and Erotic Cues
What turns you (or your lady) on? Does she like reading erotica? Having you tell her how sexy she is? Seeing her lovers erect penis? There are responses to erotic cues that are unique for each woman.
Visual and Proximity Cues
What gets you turned on when you see it? A warm fireplace? A pair of your sluttiest high heels in your closet? Your guy in his tight briefs?
Romantic and Implicit Cues
What kind of romantic experiences get you turned on? Do you love to be held? Does salsa dancing get you aroused? Perhaps a dinner out where he gets the car door for you? Or a verbal expression of his undying love for you?
These are the four conditions that increase a woman's sexual desire.
Too often what happens is the new relationship energy fades when the romantic and emotional bonding cues become taken for granted.
In Revive Her Drive I explain to men who want to rekindle their sex lives that they must first start with romance, then re-awaken their wives or girlfriend's sensual awareness before moving into seduction and sexual techniques.
Men in general, have a faster sexual accelerator system, so they tend to forget these all important steps to a woman's arousal.
In my next email of this series, I'll tell you the 8 things that cause women to "put on the sexual brakes" according to "Come As You Are."
For now, pay close attention to what you or your lady needs to feel "in the mood." Every woman's sexual accelerator cues are different... When you learn what makes you feel like making love, you can more easily empower your lover to create that experience for you.
In my vast experience working with a wide range of men from around the world for over a decade, they love to have a checklist of things that a woman needs to want to make love. Any shortcuts to your pleasure and happiness you can give him will help him create the feelings you need to want make love.
And isn't that one of the joys of life?
To More Joy,
Susan
*Cues Resulting In Desire For Sexual Activity In Women by Katie McCall and Cindy Meston is the research from which this information comes. You can read the full report on the US National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health website.
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Susan Bratton
Dr. Patti Taylor
Sloane Fox
Tallulah Sulis
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