Mental "Tricks" For Approaching Women
NOTE: There's ONE thing that every woman wants
to know when she meets you - are you "Mr. Right?"
Find out how YOU can be "Mr. Right" and attract
a high quality girlfriend right here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/BecomeMrRight/
You know, it's been too long since we talked
about how to get a woman's email address and phone
number quickly after meeting her.
I thought it might be time to have another
conversation about it, and give you some more
great ideas...
THE CHALLENGE...
I can still remember exactly what it was like
before I learned some of the secrets of how to
meet women.
I have very clear memories of women that I saw
literally YEARS ago who I wanted to meet... but I
just didn't know what to do or how to do it.
In some of the cases, I was actually talking to
the girl, enjoying a conversation... and REALLY
wanting to ask her for her number... but I just
didn't do it.
But WHY?
Why didn't I just say, "Hey, give me your
number?"
The fact is that I was AFRAID.
I was afraid that I'd say the wrong thing, or
that the woman I was talking to would say "no," or
that I'd offend her... or whatever.
At the time, I always assumed that this was
some kind of strange curse that I had. I was
afraid of women, and didn't know what to say to
them, and I was ALONE.
In other words, I not only felt like I had a
SERIOUS insecurity issue and fear, but even WORSE,
I didn't feel like I could TELL anyone about it...
or get help.
I felt like a dork if I even MENTIONED the
topic to other guys... as if even talking about it
made it clear that I was a loser who didn't even
deserve an answer.
So here I was, over and over again, in
situations where I would see women I wanted to
meet... but I just didn't know what to do.
And I didn't know what would happen if I DID do
something. I was afraid of the unknown.
Eventually, this led me to believe that there
was probably something wrong with ME - that I
should just accept and deal with it... and that
I'd probably wind up either alone or having to
settle for a relationship with a woman that I
wasn't attracted to.
Ever been there?
THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION...
Well, when I finally made the decision to learn
about how to meet women on MY terms, I made it my
goal to learn how to get women's phone numbers.
I "naturally" assumed that if I was able to get
a woman's number, that would be the key. That was
the "hard part" to me. If I could approach women
and get their numbers quickly, I thought I would
be "The Man."
So I went to work.
Here's what I learned...
To begin with, I learned that most women will
respond somewhere between "neutral" and "positive"
to being "approached" by a man.
Explained differently, out of the hundreds and
hundreds of times that I've started conversations
with women and seen my friends start conversations
with women, I have VERY, VERY rarely seen a woman
respond by getting upset, saying something rude,
or acting offended.
The typical worst case scenario is a woman not
even stopping and just walking away, or responding
coldly.
And like I said, this is a typical WORST case.
Another important lesson that I learned is that
when a woman responds in a way that is something
other than positive and receptive, it's usually
about HER, not about ME. In other words, either
she's not a nice person, she's not available,
she's in a hurry, she's in a bad mood, or
whatever... things that aren't within my control,
and that aren't my fault (or problem).
I also realized that I was CAUSING a major
problem for myself without even realizing it...
I used to have this idea that it would be
better if a woman didn't think that I was
"interested" in her. I thought that if I could
figure out a way to start a conversation and make
her like me because I was a "nice guy," then I
could somehow get her to see me in a "more
romantic" light later on.
HUGE MISTAKE.
Little did I know that women ASSUME that you're
interested in MORE than friendship from the very
beginning, no matter WHAT you do or say.
So when you try to act all innocent and
friendly, like you just want to be friends, women
usually assume that you're HIDING something, or
that you're just another major Wuss Boy...
This is a bad thing.
I learned that it is FAR better to make no
excuses at all and NEVER try to cover up the fact
that you're approaching her.
Later on, as you're talking to her over tea or
coffee, and you're teasing her, making fun of her,
and busting on her, SHE'LL start to wonder on her
own what the hell is going on... which is perfect.
In the beginning, just be damn good at what
you're doing... and don't try to cover it up or
pretend.
Pretending that you're a nice, friendly guy
who's only starting an innocent conversation is a
direct express route to an evening of self
touching.
>>>Before I get to "the goods," I need to
mention something. If you'd like to become a
MASTER of approaching women and starting
conversations, then make sure you check out my
"Approaching Women" DVD/CD program. It's the
ULTIMATE education on this topic. If you'd like to
see some video clips of the program and get all
the details, just go here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/ApproachingWomen/
THE GOODS...
OK, so here are a few pointers when
approaching:
1) It's OK To Ask Immediately...
It STILL amazes me that a woman will give her
phone number and/or email address to a guy after
only a minute or two of conversation... but it's
true.
If you act cool about it, so will she.
Do this: After talking for a minute or two say,
"I'm going to get back to my friends" (Or whatever
you were doing), and then turn away from her and
begin to leave.
If you're getting ready to actually LEAVE the
place where you are (say you're at a bar, and
you're getting ready to go home or go somewhere
else), it's even BETTER.
In that case say, "We're going to leave... it
was nice talking to you"... then turn away.
Now, just after you break eye contact and turn
away, TURN BACK and say, "Hey!"
She'll look back up, and be surprised...
2) Start With Something "Low Risk"
...as she looks up ask, "Do you have email?" in
a calm, normal tone of voice.
When she says "Yes" - you say, "Great, give it
to me, I'd like to talk to you again."
Then pull out a pen, and hand it to her.
As she's writing down her email address, just
as she writes the @ symbol (in other words, in the
middle), say "...and write your number there
too...."
Finally, tell her to write her name down as
well.
Why do it this way?
Good question.
- At first you're asking, "Do you HAVE email?"
This is a no-brainer. If she does (and most
women do), she'll say, "Yes." You're just treating
the "yes" as if she said, "Yes, I'll give it to
you..." It's a smooth, easy way to ask a "low
risk" question, and have a woman be the one to
MOST likely give you her information.
- Email is considered "safe."
I mean, what are you going to do, send her 100
emails a day? Ooooohhh, scary.
- You're waiting until she's actually in the
MIDDLE of writing down her email for you to ask
her to also write her number down.
This makes it FAR more likely that she'll give
you her number. At this point she's already
demonstrating to you and her that she's OK with
you contacting her again... and since she's
ALREADY writing, she's very likely to just KEEP
writing... her number.
3) The "Do You Have A Card" Variation
You can also ask, "Do you have a card?" if you
choose.
This is a classy, low risk way to ask a woman
for her contact information.
Now, a lot of women DO NOT have cards, so
you're going to need the follow-up for when she
says, "No, I don't have one on me"... such as
"Well, invent one for me!"
This is funny, charming, and smooth.
Just take out a pen, and hand it to her.
She'll know what to do.
4) Be Ready
Probably half to two thirds of the time, a
woman will just write down her email for you.
It's AMAZING how easily women will give out
their email addresses.
But sometimes you'll meet with resistance.
I can't go into all of the millions of possible
scenarios, but I will talk about the most COMMON
one.
Probably a quarter of the time, a woman will
say something like, "I don't give out my email to
people I don't know" or "I don't even know you"
etc.
This one used to REALLY stump me... until I
found a simple solution...
Here it is: Just point to the paper, and say
"Write it down."
If she keeps resisting, make a joke.
Say, "It's OK, just write it down. I'll only
email you every five minutes for the next month."
The SIMPLE "Write it down" works wonders.
You'll probably overcome HALF of the "I don't
give out my email/number" comments with this one
simple answer. Use it.
5) Mentally Rehearse
One of the greatest investments you can make in
yourself is MENTAL REHEARSAL.
Take some time to imagine exactly what it's
going to be like when you ask a woman for her
email/number.
Close your eyes, and picture a situation.
Imagine how you're going to be standing, what
you're going to say, what she's going to say, how
you're going to take out the pen and hand it to
her, how you're going to answer any objections
that she gives you.
Don't wait until you're in the situation to
realize that you don't know how to handle
something!
You'll realize all kinds of great stuff when
you mentally rehearse.
You'll be vividly imagining a great
conversation, then you'll get to the part where
you ask, "Do you have email?" and she says, "Yes"
and you say, "Great, give it to me, I'd like to
talk to you again..." and as you mentally put your
hand in your pocket you'll realize that you don't
usually carry a pen with you!
Or you'll realize that you don't carry paper
with you.
Or you'll realize that your pen is usually in
your jacket, which is usually on the back of your
chair, and not with you at the bar.
When you mentally rehearse, you program
yourself for success. So just DO IT!
6) Don't Sell Too Far In Advance
This is SUCH an important concept. Maybe even
the most important thing I'm going to say.
When you're getting a woman's email and number,
DO NOT try to convince her to marry you on the
spot!
Don't "ask her out."
Don't tell her that your mom is going to love
her.
Don't ask typical stupid questions like, "Do
you have a boyfriend"... and make it seem like
you're qualifying her for marriage.
No, no, nooooo!
As a matter of fact, the ONLY thing you want to
do is get her information.
Many guys make the mistake of talking about
going out on a date, being interested, etc. or
tipping the woman off in some way that he's VERY
interested in her.
This creates pressure and resistance. There's
ZERO mystery or tension created when you do this
stuff.
All you have to say is, "I'd like to talk to
you again." That's enough.
And by the way, when you DO talk to her again,
make sure you avoid the same mistake! Don't talk
future and relationship and marriage then either.
Just take things to the next step, which should
be a simple thing like tea and stimulating
conversation.
One small step at a time, and don't sell too
far in advance... ever. It only creates resistance
and nervousness on the part of the woman when you
hint that you're "interested" in a big way.
So there you go... you've now learned how to
get a woman's email and number within minutes of
first meeting her.
Use this stuff, it's taken me YEARS to figure
it all out...
And if you'd like to know what to do AFTER you
get her email and number, I have some advice for
you. Check out my Advanced Dating Techniques
Series.
Remember at the beginning of this email when I
mentioned that I originally thought to myself that
if I could get a woman's number fast, I would be
"the man"?
Well, I quickly learned that there is A LOT
more to this than just being able to get numbers
fast (although being able to get a woman's number
in 2 or 3 minutes doesn't exactly suck)...
There are many steps between first meeting a
woman and getting her to feel a POWERFUL GUT LEVEL
ATTRACTION for you... and between her feeling that
attraction and the two of you "getting physical".
If you know all the steps, and how this all
works it will likely go very smoothly and
naturally. If you DON'T know all the steps, it
will likely NOT go smoothly AT ALL, and you'll run
into more problems than you can imagine.
That's where my Advanced Dating Techniques
program comes in...
You will get over 12 solid hours of digital
video and/or audio of me teaching everything from
the ground up on how to take things all the way
from beginning to end... from the first meeting
through the first date...all the way to the
bedroom, and beyond.
You'll learn how to overcome your limiting
beliefs about women... how to eliminate your fears
of talking to women... how to make women feel
ATTRACTION for you, even if you don't have money
or looks, etc.
In other words, it's a complete system.
You'll learn everything you need to know in
order to start meeting and dating more women
IMMEDIATELY.
The best part?
You have ZERO risk.
I'll send the program to you... and you can try
it for a month. If you don't like it, just send it
back and you don't have to pay anything.
Isn't that the way it SHOULD be?
All the details, and some great audio and video
samples are here... check it out:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
...and if you STILL haven't downloaded your
copy of my original eBook "Double Your Dating,"
then you need to do that now. It's jam packed with
dozens and dozens of my personal techniques for
meeting and dating women, and it comes with THREE
great bonus booklets that aren't available
anywhere else. Go download it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. If you're serious about learning how to
attract women, make sure you check out all of the
other programs I've put together to teach you. You
can watch video clips of all of them right here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/
--------------------------------------------------
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NOTE: There's ONE thing that every woman wants
to know when she meets you - are you "Mr. Right?"
Find out how YOU can be "Mr. Right" and attract
a high quality girlfriend right here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/BecomeMrRight/
You know, it's been too long since we talked
about how to get a woman's email address and phone
number quickly after meeting her.
I thought it might be time to have another
conversation about it, and give you some more
great ideas...
THE CHALLENGE...
I can still remember exactly what it was like
before I learned some of the secrets of how to
meet women.
I have very clear memories of women that I saw
literally YEARS ago who I wanted to meet... but I
just didn't know what to do or how to do it.
In some of the cases, I was actually talking to
the girl, enjoying a conversation... and REALLY
wanting to ask her for her number... but I just
didn't do it.
But WHY?
Why didn't I just say, "Hey, give me your
number?"
The fact is that I was AFRAID.
I was afraid that I'd say the wrong thing, or
that the woman I was talking to would say "no," or
that I'd offend her... or whatever.
At the time, I always assumed that this was
some kind of strange curse that I had. I was
afraid of women, and didn't know what to say to
them, and I was ALONE.
In other words, I not only felt like I had a
SERIOUS insecurity issue and fear, but even WORSE,
I didn't feel like I could TELL anyone about it...
or get help.
I felt like a dork if I even MENTIONED the
topic to other guys... as if even talking about it
made it clear that I was a loser who didn't even
deserve an answer.
So here I was, over and over again, in
situations where I would see women I wanted to
meet... but I just didn't know what to do.
And I didn't know what would happen if I DID do
something. I was afraid of the unknown.
Eventually, this led me to believe that there
was probably something wrong with ME - that I
should just accept and deal with it... and that
I'd probably wind up either alone or having to
settle for a relationship with a woman that I
wasn't attracted to.
Ever been there?
THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION...
Well, when I finally made the decision to learn
about how to meet women on MY terms, I made it my
goal to learn how to get women's phone numbers.
I "naturally" assumed that if I was able to get
a woman's number, that would be the key. That was
the "hard part" to me. If I could approach women
and get their numbers quickly, I thought I would
be "The Man."
So I went to work.
Here's what I learned...
To begin with, I learned that most women will
respond somewhere between "neutral" and "positive"
to being "approached" by a man.
Explained differently, out of the hundreds and
hundreds of times that I've started conversations
with women and seen my friends start conversations
with women, I have VERY, VERY rarely seen a woman
respond by getting upset, saying something rude,
or acting offended.
The typical worst case scenario is a woman not
even stopping and just walking away, or responding
coldly.
And like I said, this is a typical WORST case.
Another important lesson that I learned is that
when a woman responds in a way that is something
other than positive and receptive, it's usually
about HER, not about ME. In other words, either
she's not a nice person, she's not available,
she's in a hurry, she's in a bad mood, or
whatever... things that aren't within my control,
and that aren't my fault (or problem).
I also realized that I was CAUSING a major
problem for myself without even realizing it...
I used to have this idea that it would be
better if a woman didn't think that I was
"interested" in her. I thought that if I could
figure out a way to start a conversation and make
her like me because I was a "nice guy," then I
could somehow get her to see me in a "more
romantic" light later on.
HUGE MISTAKE.
Little did I know that women ASSUME that you're
interested in MORE than friendship from the very
beginning, no matter WHAT you do or say.
So when you try to act all innocent and
friendly, like you just want to be friends, women
usually assume that you're HIDING something, or
that you're just another major Wuss Boy...
This is a bad thing.
I learned that it is FAR better to make no
excuses at all and NEVER try to cover up the fact
that you're approaching her.
Later on, as you're talking to her over tea or
coffee, and you're teasing her, making fun of her,
and busting on her, SHE'LL start to wonder on her
own what the hell is going on... which is perfect.
In the beginning, just be damn good at what
you're doing... and don't try to cover it up or
pretend.
Pretending that you're a nice, friendly guy
who's only starting an innocent conversation is a
direct express route to an evening of self
touching.
>>>Before I get to "the goods," I need to
mention something. If you'd like to become a
MASTER of approaching women and starting
conversations, then make sure you check out my
"Approaching Women" DVD/CD program. It's the
ULTIMATE education on this topic. If you'd like to
see some video clips of the program and get all
the details, just go here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/ApproachingWomen/
THE GOODS...
OK, so here are a few pointers when
approaching:
1) It's OK To Ask Immediately...
It STILL amazes me that a woman will give her
phone number and/or email address to a guy after
only a minute or two of conversation... but it's
true.
If you act cool about it, so will she.
Do this: After talking for a minute or two say,
"I'm going to get back to my friends" (Or whatever
you were doing), and then turn away from her and
begin to leave.
If you're getting ready to actually LEAVE the
place where you are (say you're at a bar, and
you're getting ready to go home or go somewhere
else), it's even BETTER.
In that case say, "We're going to leave... it
was nice talking to you"... then turn away.
Now, just after you break eye contact and turn
away, TURN BACK and say, "Hey!"
She'll look back up, and be surprised...
2) Start With Something "Low Risk"
...as she looks up ask, "Do you have email?" in
a calm, normal tone of voice.
When she says "Yes" - you say, "Great, give it
to me, I'd like to talk to you again."
Then pull out a pen, and hand it to her.
As she's writing down her email address, just
as she writes the @ symbol (in other words, in the
middle), say "...and write your number there
too...."
Finally, tell her to write her name down as
well.
Why do it this way?
Good question.
- At first you're asking, "Do you HAVE email?"
This is a no-brainer. If she does (and most
women do), she'll say, "Yes." You're just treating
the "yes" as if she said, "Yes, I'll give it to
you..." It's a smooth, easy way to ask a "low
risk" question, and have a woman be the one to
MOST likely give you her information.
- Email is considered "safe."
I mean, what are you going to do, send her 100
emails a day? Ooooohhh, scary.
- You're waiting until she's actually in the
MIDDLE of writing down her email for you to ask
her to also write her number down.
This makes it FAR more likely that she'll give
you her number. At this point she's already
demonstrating to you and her that she's OK with
you contacting her again... and since she's
ALREADY writing, she's very likely to just KEEP
writing... her number.
3) The "Do You Have A Card" Variation
You can also ask, "Do you have a card?" if you
choose.
This is a classy, low risk way to ask a woman
for her contact information.
Now, a lot of women DO NOT have cards, so
you're going to need the follow-up for when she
says, "No, I don't have one on me"... such as
"Well, invent one for me!"
This is funny, charming, and smooth.
Just take out a pen, and hand it to her.
She'll know what to do.
4) Be Ready
Probably half to two thirds of the time, a
woman will just write down her email for you.
It's AMAZING how easily women will give out
their email addresses.
But sometimes you'll meet with resistance.
I can't go into all of the millions of possible
scenarios, but I will talk about the most COMMON
one.
Probably a quarter of the time, a woman will
say something like, "I don't give out my email to
people I don't know" or "I don't even know you"
etc.
This one used to REALLY stump me... until I
found a simple solution...
Here it is: Just point to the paper, and say
"Write it down."
If she keeps resisting, make a joke.
Say, "It's OK, just write it down. I'll only
email you every five minutes for the next month."
The SIMPLE "Write it down" works wonders.
You'll probably overcome HALF of the "I don't
give out my email/number" comments with this one
simple answer. Use it.
5) Mentally Rehearse
One of the greatest investments you can make in
yourself is MENTAL REHEARSAL.
Take some time to imagine exactly what it's
going to be like when you ask a woman for her
email/number.
Close your eyes, and picture a situation.
Imagine how you're going to be standing, what
you're going to say, what she's going to say, how
you're going to take out the pen and hand it to
her, how you're going to answer any objections
that she gives you.
Don't wait until you're in the situation to
realize that you don't know how to handle
something!
You'll realize all kinds of great stuff when
you mentally rehearse.
You'll be vividly imagining a great
conversation, then you'll get to the part where
you ask, "Do you have email?" and she says, "Yes"
and you say, "Great, give it to me, I'd like to
talk to you again..." and as you mentally put your
hand in your pocket you'll realize that you don't
usually carry a pen with you!
Or you'll realize that you don't carry paper
with you.
Or you'll realize that your pen is usually in
your jacket, which is usually on the back of your
chair, and not with you at the bar.
When you mentally rehearse, you program
yourself for success. So just DO IT!
6) Don't Sell Too Far In Advance
This is SUCH an important concept. Maybe even
the most important thing I'm going to say.
When you're getting a woman's email and number,
DO NOT try to convince her to marry you on the
spot!
Don't "ask her out."
Don't tell her that your mom is going to love
her.
Don't ask typical stupid questions like, "Do
you have a boyfriend"... and make it seem like
you're qualifying her for marriage.
No, no, nooooo!
As a matter of fact, the ONLY thing you want to
do is get her information.
Many guys make the mistake of talking about
going out on a date, being interested, etc. or
tipping the woman off in some way that he's VERY
interested in her.
This creates pressure and resistance. There's
ZERO mystery or tension created when you do this
stuff.
All you have to say is, "I'd like to talk to
you again." That's enough.
And by the way, when you DO talk to her again,
make sure you avoid the same mistake! Don't talk
future and relationship and marriage then either.
Just take things to the next step, which should
be a simple thing like tea and stimulating
conversation.
One small step at a time, and don't sell too
far in advance... ever. It only creates resistance
and nervousness on the part of the woman when you
hint that you're "interested" in a big way.
So there you go... you've now learned how to
get a woman's email and number within minutes of
first meeting her.
Use this stuff, it's taken me YEARS to figure
it all out...
And if you'd like to know what to do AFTER you
get her email and number, I have some advice for
you. Check out my Advanced Dating Techniques
Series.
Remember at the beginning of this email when I
mentioned that I originally thought to myself that
if I could get a woman's number fast, I would be
"the man"?
Well, I quickly learned that there is A LOT
more to this than just being able to get numbers
fast (although being able to get a woman's number
in 2 or 3 minutes doesn't exactly suck)...
There are many steps between first meeting a
woman and getting her to feel a POWERFUL GUT LEVEL
ATTRACTION for you... and between her feeling that
attraction and the two of you "getting physical".
If you know all the steps, and how this all
works it will likely go very smoothly and
naturally. If you DON'T know all the steps, it
will likely NOT go smoothly AT ALL, and you'll run
into more problems than you can imagine.
That's where my Advanced Dating Techniques
program comes in...
You will get over 12 solid hours of digital
video and/or audio of me teaching everything from
the ground up on how to take things all the way
from beginning to end... from the first meeting
through the first date...all the way to the
bedroom, and beyond.
You'll learn how to overcome your limiting
beliefs about women... how to eliminate your fears
of talking to women... how to make women feel
ATTRACTION for you, even if you don't have money
or looks, etc.
In other words, it's a complete system.
You'll learn everything you need to know in
order to start meeting and dating more women
IMMEDIATELY.
The best part?
You have ZERO risk.
I'll send the program to you... and you can try
it for a month. If you don't like it, just send it
back and you don't have to pay anything.
Isn't that the way it SHOULD be?
All the details, and some great audio and video
samples are here... check it out:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
...and if you STILL haven't downloaded your
copy of my original eBook "Double Your Dating,"
then you need to do that now. It's jam packed with
dozens and dozens of my personal techniques for
meeting and dating women, and it comes with THREE
great bonus booklets that aren't available
anywhere else. Go download it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. If you're serious about learning how to
attract women, make sure you check out all of the
other programs I've put together to teach you. You
can watch video clips of all of them right here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/
--------------------------------------------------
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