| I get a lot of emails from both men and women about issues relating to erectile dysfunction and early ejaculation.
However, I also get quite a few emails about issues on the extreme opposite.
Some men take too long to ejaculate.
And while some guys (and women too) right now are going to think, "That's not a bad thing at all," a few readers of mine feel otherwise.
Just like Violet (not her real name) who wrote in about her lover's extreme ability to "last all night long..."
Scroll down to read her email and my response below.
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"Susan, help. This is killing our relationship.
It is impossible to go 20, 39, 40 minutes every night before he finally climaxes.
I get pleased quickly and he says he wants to continue pleasing me but I'm done and I know in reality he's just struggling to finish for himself.
I start getting so dry after I orgasm and he takes so long.
He's 56. Not taking a Viagra etc. He doesn't have problems getting erect.
We both have demanding work schedules, we're exhausted and both start early in the mornings for work. Both divorced. Grown kids.
He's such a great person. How do I handle this?" - Violet (not her real name)
Hi Jen,
Thanks for writing to me. I feel your anguish.
The very first thing you must do is tell him that his "delayed ejaculation" is uncomfortable and unpleasurable to you. That he's taking too long and you don't want to have intercourse after you've climaxed. Ask him to masturbate himself to climax when you've had enough intercourse.
Explain to him that you don't want to have sex after you get dry and you are very afraid you will no longer want to have any intercourse with him if things continue the way they are now.
Tell him you love him and you want to remain sexually active, but can no longer sustain the current situation.
Secondly, are you using lubrication for intercourse? Please augment your natural lubrication with some organic coconut or avocado oil. I have links to the ones I recommend in my Amazon store here.
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Next, I suggest you get him one of these Fun Factory prostate stimulators. The additional sensation should hasten his ejaculation.
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And most importantly, what I've suggested above is just a temporary measure.
Your guy has either lost sensation or has blown out his pleasure circuits overdoing it watching porn.
These are the two likely reasons why he can't more easily climax... Unless he's always had this issue and then it could be perhaps a deep-rooted shame of some kind or some sort of earlier emotional trauma.
Is he diabetic? If so, it could be diabetic neuropathy - sensation loss from nerve damage from insulin resistance. Does he have a big belly?
Is he on any medications?
I'd heartily suggest he go see a functional urologist. They can get to the root of the problem.
If he's generally healthy and just dealing with lack of sensation, a series of GAINSWave treatments will help to reinnervate his penile tissue.
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Those are my initial thoughts based on the amount of information you've supplied thus far.
There is NO reason to suffer. Please talk to your man.
Let me know how it goes.
Love,
Suz
Susan Bratton, "Trusted Hot Sex Advisor To Millions" of lovers who crave lifelong intimacy and passion. As the Dear Abby of Sex, she has helped create and revive countless sex lives with her bestselling books and programs such as Relationship Magic, Sexual Soulmates, The Passion Patch, Revive Her Drive and her Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection.
For more insider tips, follow her on Instagram and subscribe to her Better Lover YouTube channel.
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Susan Bratton
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