Sunday, August 8, 2010

Turning A Female "Friend" Into A Lover

Turning A Female "Friend" Into A Lover


NOTE: One of the hidden keys to success with women is
understanding the secret language I call "Sexual
Communication." Learning it will give you the
kind of success with women that most men only
DREAM about. Go here to see what I mean:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/SexualCommunication/

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hi Dave,

Kind of an 'almost but not quite' success story
but compared to how I used to be it feels like a
miracle. Yes, in the past I was ultimate wussy boy
but then I got the ebook and began to change. (I'm
20 and glad I found this out now!) Always had
plenty of female friends but I was the therapist,
nothing more. And as I'm sure many guys who are
reading this know, it makes you feel like crap.
Anyway, by coincidence, I moved to another city
for work, just as I got the ebook. This meant that
I really had a fresh start.   By another piece of
fortune I got very lucky:   I met that rare woman
who has her act together FIRST TIME.   Yeah, I
know.   The first woman I meet EVER whilst trying
to be C+F, get my body language right, keep eye
contact and not be a wuss and she's the one who's
got her act together big style.   I've always
picked things up really quickly (got to have some
good points when you only weigh 130lbs haha!) and
so just tried to stay cool for as long as I could,
mainly for the learning experience.   And Dave,
thanks to reading your book day in and day out,
combined with the emails, I have done better than
I EVER thought I would.   I still remember the
awesome feeling when she first started calling me
to do stuff (rather than the millions of other
guys who were always hanging around her, kissing
her ass.)   Or how I would bust on her amongst our
group of friends and she would come right back at
me with an ever cockier and funnier comment and
all the guys would stare at me as if I was crazy
to say this stuff to her.   They then proceeded to
say how unfair life must be because she is single
and to not take my comments to heart because she
is beautiful ...yuck, wussies!

So to the crunch.   One night when this girl and I
were out pubbing and clubbing and battling each
other with our wits and building lots of tension
(so much fun)   she opened up a bit and told me
that she had never met anyone like me and that I
was cool.   All the cues that you said would happen
if you do the right things.   Inside I was like
"WOW!" but I didn't show it and just told her that
her compliments and looking at me like a piece of
meat wasn't going to get her anywhere - she's a
great friend!   By the end of the night she was
asking me the odds of us having sex within the
next few weeks.   Now here's where I've got to hold
my hands up and risk your written wrath.   In that
moment, this was the ONLY time I have ever been a
wuss with her.   I'm a virgin and even though I
fancy her like mad, I know at present I couldn't
satisfy a woman like that (limiting belief I know,
but true!)   I haven't got the skill yet and then I
realised that I had failed to plan ahead.   Damn.
And I could hardly turn around and say "Hey, I'm a
virgin wuss who has never had sex! Teach me?"
Instead, as my answer I just smirked a little in a
poor attempt to look composed but I wasted a big
opportunity to amplify what was there; instead I
just dissipated all the tension by being a prick.
She appeared to let me off though and the next few
weeks were a C+F fun-fest again.   I still played
it cool, no chasing, no clinging, no insecurity.
Then our mutual friends started telling me to ask
her for more.   Even her best female friend said
that we should be together because we get on so
well.   I remembered an email you sent saying that
if you meet someone you REALLY like then sometime
you're going to have to take the chance and tell
them.   So when we were alone at another party a
couple of weeks later, I told her that we should
get together.   Here's the messed up part: she said
that I was the best guy she'd ever met and that
she didn't want to enter a relationship with me
because every guy she has ever gone out with she's
ended up hurting. She said that she never wanted
to hurt me and wanted to know me forever.   And
that if we stayed best friends forever, without
complications, we would have something great for
life and not a quick fling followed by never
talking again.   She also said that she loved the
way that I stand up to her and don't kiss her ass
like most other guys.   So, a lot of tears later
(from her), hugs, kisses and plenty of apologies
and I was left to wonder if my one error of sexual
wussiness had cost me in the worst possible way. I
believe this to be true because I know that if a
woman feels attraction for a man, then nothing
else matters. Her friendship logic wouldn't matter
if she "felt it" for me would it?   I'm so pissed
off at myself for messing up (always been a
perfectionist, have to get everything right first
time!)   However, she has surprised me in that she
hasn't run for the hills - she must've meant what
she said.   Reason being because not only are we
still hanging out, but she sent me a Valentines
card (I sent her nothing) and just last week
invited me over to her place alone where she
cooked for me.   I'm still playing it by your
teachings Dave but I'm at a complete loss.   I like
her a hell of a lot and am really fighting the
wuss urge.   I still bust on her, we still flirt, I
don't call her a s much as she calls me and I
haven't shared any feelings with her since that
night.   I'm trying to stay cool man!   Don't bitch
slap or berate me too hard, I've already done it
many times myself (and will continue to do so,
until I GET IT!   I am not going to give this up!)
So after this damned long essay that says I've
gone on for too long (I've kept it to 2 paragraphs
though - albeit by cheating the rules of
grammar...) I have two questions: 1)   Is there any
hope of turning this around?   I know I should move
on but how long will it take me to find another
really exceptional woman that I get on so well
with? It seems like I'm so close but just haven't
quite got the skill to haul myself over the finish
line and it's very frustrating!   2)   Where can I
get a good education on how to make love to a
woman?   This is my final concern with women, I
believe. And when the time comes, should I admit
my lack of inexperience?   (No amount of theory can
make up for lack of practice!)

Cheers Dave, without your teachings I would never,
ever have gotten this far.

M, United Kingdom.

P.S.   She did your pocket a favor by turning me
down - it prompted me to buy the CD series.   In
the long run, I guess she did me a favor too:
it's awesome so far.   ***End of blatant plug***

>>>MY COMMENTS:

    Well, first of all I want to CONGRATULATE you
on a great job with this girl.

    You did all the right things, and you've
obviously paid attention to what you've learned. I
have a lot of respect for you for both DOING
SOMETHING to improve yourself, and for getting out
there and using the materials.

    You should be congratulating yourself, not
beating yourself up.

    I'M the one who gives the verbal beatings here,
not you, remember?

    I think the real problem you're running into
here is that you've put too much importance on
this one situation, and by doing that you've
created "tunnel vision" for yourself. I'm sure
you've heard me talk about this a lot.

    From now on, don't get so hung up on a
particular woman that you're not even
"technically" involved with. It's asking for
emotional trouble... and it's a pain.

    So, let's talk about this particular
situation...

    I'd like to share with you a thought to set
this up. It's a thought that might not go over so
well with a lot of people (especially women). But,
I believe it to be true, so I'm going to put it
out there.

    Remember, this is a generalization, and not a
cold, hard fact... it's true MOST of the time. You
have to use your own judgment in each situation.

    Now that the disclaimer is over, here's the
deal:

    If you meet a woman (especially a sharp,
attractive woman who's intelligent), and you start
doing all of those wonderful things that spark and
amplify the ATTRACTION present in the situation,
you must KEEP MOVING FORWARD, or you'll lose
everything you've built.

    What I'm trying to say is that if you don't
take things to a physical level quickly after
creating all of this sexual tension, it will
eventually go away, and you'll be left with just
"friend" material.

    I know that you've never been with a woman
sexually, so I can understand why you hesitated.
But you must still remember what I said.

    The rule of thumb is: If you're going to spark
and amplify attraction with a woman, you need to
continue on to the next level SOON... or you're
going to probably lose it.

    When you just tease a woman, bust on her, get
her all wired up and excited about you... then
DON'T MOVE FORWARD PHYSICALLY, it's a let down.

    Basically, the woman you're with has a first
impression of you that says "This guy is sexy and
attractive," but when you don't continue forward
on a physical level, she starts to think "Uh Oh,
he's either not interested in me 'in that way',
he's gay, or he's seeing someone else," etc.

    If you want to be "friends" with a woman, it's
easy. Don't do anything.

    If you don't make any "moves", don't try to
kiss her, and don't confidently lead in a physical
way, a woman will only think of you as a "friend".

    Even if there is attraction based on
personality, it's going to disappear if you don't
cross over into the physical realm.

    99% of the time, she's NOT going to be the one
to make the first moves... it's just not going to
happen. YOU have to do it.

***NOTE***

    Before I give you tips on how to solve this
problem, you might want to check out my "Deep
Inner Game" program. It will absolutely help you
overcome some of the more "psychological"
challenges you're facing. You can go see video
samples and check it out here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/DeepInnerGame/

    Onward...

    The real keys here are:

1) Knowing WHAT to do to proceed in each situation

2) Knowing WHEN to proceed in each situation

3) Knowing HOW to proceed in each situation... in
a way that is smooth and natural... and that
doesn't get you "rejected"

    You've got the benefit of having my eBook and
my Advanced Dating Techniques Program. I recommend
that you check out the bonus booklet that came
with "Double Your Dating" called "Sex Secrets,"
and use that material IMMEDIATELY.

    Also, you'll learn a lot of great ideas in the
last few discs of my Advanced Series.

    Let me cover a few basics here.

    First of all, it's OK that you're a virgin.

    It's no big deal. You're making it into
something bigger than it is by freaking out about
it.

    I'll break the news to you:

    SHE ONLY CARES HOW SHE FEELS, NOT WHAT YOUR
PAST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE IS.

    If you can make her FEEL good, game over.

    You're obviously a guy who can pay attention
and learn things. Spend a day at the bookstore,
and go to the "sexuality" section. Read for
awhile. You'll learn everything you need to know
to get past your "first time" just fine.

    And, by the way, if you run into a problem...
like "performance anxiety" or nervousness or just
being uncomfortable naked around a woman... that's
OK, too. If you reach a point that starts to freak
you out too much, just lean back and stop for a
little while. One of the GREAT things about the
process of getting a woman turned on is that it's
much more powerful for her if you DO stop and
start... move two steps forward, and one step
back.

    You don't need to say, "Hey, I realize that
we're both naked in bed here and we should be
making love, but I'm a virgin... and on top of
that, I can't get it up." No no nooooo....

    Just kick back. If you have to, just call it a
night.

    The KEY is that you have to at least PROGRESS
physically with her. Explained differently, you
don't necessarily have to go "all the way," but
you do have to get pretty far down the field...
and keep going a little farther each time... if
you want to keep the attraction building.

    I have another secret to share with you...

    Most guys suck in bed. And I don't mean that in
a good way. And no, I'm not talking from
experience.

    I have known, interviewed, and received emails
from a lot of women. I know the deal. Most women
are not very happy about what happens in the
bedroom.

    If you do just the things I've laid out for you
in the ebook and Advanced Series, and then you
totally blow it and are the worst lover the world
has ever known, she'll still have a GREAT
experience with you... because MOST of it will
have been fantastic for her.

    Using the physical techniques... ways of
touching, ways of getting her physically turned on
and amplifying her arousal, that you've learned in
the materials, will get a woman so turned on that
just about ANY kind of sexual interaction will be
fine with her.

    lol... and by the way, the next time a woman
looks at you and asks, "What do you think the odds
of us having sex within the next few weeks
are?"... you need to look her right in the eye and
say:

"Sex? Hell, I don't even know if you know how to
kiss."

    ...then lean over and kiss her.

    When you're finished, pull away (you stop the
kiss before she does), look back at her, and say:

"Hmm, I'll have to get back to you about the sex
part."

    ...and if you're reading this right now, and
you want to know how in the hell a 130 pound ex-
wussy therapist boy can change his ways and have a
woman asking him if he thinks they're going to
have sex soon, then I'd recommend doing what HE
did...

    Get yourself a copy of my eBook "Double Your
Dating," and get yourself a copy of my Advanced
Dating Techniques CD or DVD program. It's taken me
years to figure this stuff out, and you can try
all of it at NO RISK. You've got nothing to
lose... except your inability to meet women...

    The eBook is here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/

    The Advanced Dating Techniques Program is here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/

    I'll talk to you again soon.

          Your Friend,

         David D.


P.S. Don't forget to check out all of my other
great dating programs. You can see them all, watch
video clips, and get all the details here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/






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