| A small percentage of humans are wired to want more warmth, intimacy, and closeness when stressed. But for most of us, stress is the #1 relationship killer. (Poor attachment parenting may well be the #2 reason. More on that later…) If you feel worry, anxiety, fear, terror, irritation, annoyance, frustration, anger, rage, emotional numbness, shutdown, depression, or despair, according to Dr. Emily Nagoski's book, "Come As You Are," then you are stressed. Uhhh, yeah. Yeah. YEAH! Here are the de-stressing mechanisms that work best for most, including one super awesome SHORTCUT you'll love. Listen to what Dr. Nagoski says is wrong with how we are stressed today and why it's so hard on our bodies and thus our relationship's potential: (I've paraphrased and condensed Emily's work here.) 1. Our stress is chronic. We don't take deliberate steps to complete our stress cycles. There's no clear beginning, middle, and end to our stresses. So the stress hangs out inside us, making us sick and tired and unable to experience being present in our relationships. 2. We have an emotion-dismissing culture. "Suck it up." "Get over yourself." "Stiff upper lip." And all that rot! 3. Our ultra-social human brains are good at self-inhibition, stopping the stress mid-cycle because NOW is not an appropriate time to process your feelings. So they get stuffed and stuck, and we are locked into our fear, rage, and despair. That's why we MUST build time, space, and strategies for discharging our stress response cycles, says Emily. HOW? Read on. 
DE-STRESS FOR MORE SEXUAL PLEASURE Remember, the #1 thing you can do to have more intimacy in your life is to lower your chronic stress. You may want to print out this email and find a way to integrate some or all of the following lists into your everyday life. And notice that watching TV is not on this list, so don't give me any crap about not having any time for these: 1. Get moving. Run, dance, walk, rebound, whatever you want! "Physical activity is the single most efficient strategy for completing the stress response cycle and recalibrating your nervous system into a calm state. When people say, "Exercise is for stress," that is for realsie real," says Emily. 2. Affection. Get the emotional bonding you need to calm yourself down. Seek and receive soothing touches, especially in the form of my world-famous "Best Hug In The World." 3. Any form of meditation. 4. Yoga. Tai Chi. QiGong ⇐ My favorite for men's energy cultivation. 5. Sleep. 6. Body scans. 7. A good old cry. 8. Primal screaming. 9. Journaling positive ideas. 10. Art. 11. Grooming and other self-care like massage, hot tubs, and infrared saunas. 12. Getting out in any kind of nature. So, what do you choose? What modalities will you use to move through your stress and arrive at a happy, sound body ready and willing to enjoy your god-given pleasure? Email me and tell me what changes you're making or post a comment on our site and share it with us. Also, do me a favor. I sent a bunch of wonderful articles over the week packed with information designed to help you achieve the most amazing relationship and intimate life you could ever want. Take some time off tonight and read the ones you like. Stress Less and Love More,
Suz  Susan Bratton, "Intimacy Expert to Millions", is a champion and spokesperson for GAINSWave™️ and FemiWave™️ sexual regenerative treatments. She is a prolific creator of more than 35 books and programs on passionate lovemaking, including The Blow Job Secret at ThreeLicks.com.
You can also get her detailed female anatomy video and ebook free at ArousalTips.com and her Cunnilingus Pillow Plan at SweetSpotOral.com.
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Susan Bratton
Dr. Patti Taylor
Sloane Fox
Tallulah Sulis
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