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I got your book and I've read it twice. It's
helped me to pinpoint areas where I need to
improve and basically understand some of why women
do what they do. However I have a situation.
Normally, I'm a smart ass, I'm always making smart
comments, and a general joker. The problem is,
when I go to a club or a bar, with gorgeous HBs
(Hot Babes), my mind goes blank. It's almost like
my brain locks and all i can do is look without
anything to say. Needless to say it frustrates the
hell outta me. Any advice? Should I do some
affirmations? How do I overcome this?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I think your problem is really pretty simple.
You are experiencing something that I have been
through a bazillion times. In fact, I think that
most guys have been through this cycle at some
point in life.
One of the ideas that I teach is "Have one good
default thing to do in each common situation".
In other words, it sounds to me like you just
haven't taken the time to work out a basic system
for yourself that will allow you to meet any woman
you come across in one of these situations.
Here's your homework:
Take out a piece of paper right now, and write
down your one single favorite way to start a
conversation with a woman.
Next, plan out EXACTLY how it should go in your
mind.
Next, mentally rehearse this scenario over and
over and over until you have it clearly in your
mind.
Finally, go out tomorrow night and use this one
introduction to meet 10 women.
The next day, sit down again for a few minutes
and think about how it worked for you.
Think about ways you could improve your
approach, and if you come up with some good
innovations, go ahead and do the same process of
mentally rehearsing the new ideas until you have
them down.
One thing that really makes me laugh is that
MOST GUYS SPEND MORE TIME REHEARSING THEIR
VOICEMAIL MESSAGE THAN THEY DO REHEARSING
SCENARIOS WITH WOMEN.
You need one good, solid, default thing to do
in each common situation with women. So pick one,
and refine it until your mind no longer goes
blank!
Hey, one of the things I noticed about stupid guys
who can't get laid or even a phone number is that
they aren't around women enough. Having your own
business, or doing sales makes you realize that
you have to let people, or in this case women know
about your product, you. I am always amazed by
guys who whine they can't meet any chicks and then
stay home and masturbate on a Friday night, or
even worse drink at some dive bar where there are
no women. This may sound rudimentary but go
shopping once in a while, be around them; there
are insecure women everywhere for the taking,
especially on a Sunday afternoon, if you know what
I mean.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Preach it, my brother.
Sometimes I don't mention the obvious enough.
And I thank you for reminding me and everyone else
of one of the basic fundamental truths about being
successful with women.
Thanks again!
I read some of your articles that I found very
interesting. My brother shows me it and tell me a
lot of things that he had learned. But I used to
ask him, what can I do to attract man. He suggest
me to ask you, maybe you can give me some advice
or show me a good link for women.
For about 13 years, I was part of a very strict
religion. Now I'm out of it. I'm 28 years old and
still virgin. I feel very naive about
relationships and sex and I'm looking for good
advices about these topics. Which web sites would
you recommend me? Is your program going to help a
female? I would really appreciate your help.
Thanks in advance.
D.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, if you want to get the virginity thing
handled, just go out any night to any bar in any
town and walk up to any guy and say "Hi, would you
like to have sex?"
It goes without saying that you'll want to use
protection, but as a woman I don't think you're
going to have much of a problem meeting a willing
man!
lol...
I thought your email was interesting because
most guys assume WAY too much about women, and
they don't realize that women are insecure,
inexperienced, and uncertain in many situations as
well.
First off, fantastic book! It's the Holy Grail of
Manhood, methinks! I have plenty of girls getting
a rise out of my C-F attitude--it doesn't make
sense at all but, like you say, to them it's
magic. For example, a few weeks ago I approached a
really attractive girl (about an 8.5) at a
stop walk downtown by busting on her about her
platform heels she had on (made some reference to
Studio 54), got her digits and told her we should
have coffee sometime--she loved the idea. When we
met downtown for coffee, she said there was a
particular shoppe she would like to go to, I
firmly said 'No' and took her to another one. It
was fantastic Dave!!! The day was beautiful and,
yes, there was much more for dessert that day than
my Biscotti :)
Now, I just graduated college and work in a large
Midwestern city. I'm a good looking guy, well
dressed, smart, pretty nice job, stylish...the
whole package, right? I also have a thing for
older women...MILF's if you will. I've recently
been hitting this martini bar where quite a few
attractive (and well-to-do) women go. I've been
reluctant to use the CF technique that I use on
college girls on older women, as they probably
don't play the same 'games' younger ladies do.
What is your advice? Younger girls are great and
energetic, but those 35-year old's have something
you only get with age...experience.
Thanks Dave!! Can't wait for the next book!!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Mature, intelligent women LOVE a Cocky & Funny
man.
I think you're going to find that sophisticated
women are FAR MORE receptive to your new charm
techniques than their younger counterparts...
But be careful. Older women are more
experienced, have been through more games, and
know what they want and how to get it.
You might be writing me soon to ask me why your
new girlfriend has you wearing a collar and
barking like a dog.
First off, props to you on the book. The book is
really about how to take control of your life and
get what you want from it. That's awesome. I dated
this really gorgeous chick that was in med school.
I did the whole cocky and funny routine. Works
like magic. Here's an example: "I love you, V." Me
laughing ... I love me too. That's when I had to
bail on her. She even bought me some pimp Versace
gear.
I am stuck in a difficult situation. Due to the
way I look, dress, and talk, girls assume that I
am a player. I am very,very inexperienced however.
I have had a few times where I am about to seal
the deal, and some girl will ask me, "How many
girls have you been with ?" or "You are a player
aren't you ?" I have never sealed the deal and if
I tell them this they don't believe me and some
will just get mad and leave. I am not sure what I
should say in this situation. I think some of
your book is based on being able to kiss properly
such as the kiss test or the c+f comment, "I don't
even know if you kiss well. " I do not even know
how to kiss properly. I can be cocky and funny and
can attract girls but then I don't know how to be
cocky and funny and bring up that I have never
done anything. Please help me resolve this because
armed with my determination and my improving
skills.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You're too much.
She even bought you "some pimp Versace gear"?
Nice!
OK, you say that you've read my book, but you
must have missed page 92. I explain exactly how to
deal with this kind of situation ("How To Answer
Any Question That You Don't Want To Answer").
Here, let me get creative for you...
She asks: "Are you a player?"
You answer: "Are you trying to hide the fact
that YOU are?"
One key in situations like this is to NEVER
give a woman a direct answer.
Use your Cocky & Funny skills to come up with 5
good answers, and use them.
Maybe say, "Yes, I play sports... what do you
like?"
As you can see, I like to turn questions and
accusations around and guess that they're trying
to hide the fact that what they're asking about is
something wrong with THEM.
Just don't answer directly... and most women
will give up.
If you get defensive and say "Oh, no no no...
I'm not a Player at all..." most women won't
believe you anyway - even if you're NOT a player.
You need some more "Cocky & Funny" skillz, my
man. Go read this to get them:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/CockyComedy/
Hey Dave, well, like everyone else that's written
I must say your book helped, even before when I
read your letters every week they helped. I've had
a lot of success. Well I would of never expected
myself to email you, cause there was really no
point, cause your book helped a lot, but sadly...
that day has come, where I need help.. oh yes. Ok,
Thanks to you I got jiggy with it, got girls, but
I fell head over heals with this one girl. Make a
long story short. I went out with her, she'd
always have fun, but still I wasn't always at my
full potential cause she was the one that made me
feel all tingly inside and I had just gotten your
book. But, there was this one occasion where I
listened to my friend.. he said "tell her you like
her".. but I knew I shouldn't cause you always say
never tell a girl you like them. Well, you guessed
it. I told her that. And everything started going
down hill after that. And to make matters worse, I
finished everything off with her, and well said
some things I regret. After that happened and
tried to forget about her, but she IMed me once
saying she wanted to give me back something I had
given her for her birthday, but she didn't want to
give it to me personally. Still had fun teasing
her, but nothing. Then I went out with some girls
got #'s to keep my mind off her. Went on vacation.
but nothing. 2 months without her drove me crazy,
so I emailed her a couple times 3 to be exact.
Made them as cocky and funny as they could be. But
no cigar. Now I'm just doomed. Sure people have
told me to move on, and probably you'll say that.
But I've tried, but I feel like she's the one. But
she despises me, or so I think. So Dave, is there
something you can tell this grashopper to try get
her back or try to do to I don't know.. it's tough
though.
B.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ouch.
As you know, you've done a VERY VERY VERY bad
thing...
YOU TURNED INTO A WUSSY!
Here's your homework:
Take out an entire blank notebook full of paper
and write the following by hand:
"I will not act like a WUSSY. I will not act
like a WUSSY. I will not act like a WUSSY."
When you've filled the notebook you may stop.
Get it?
WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.
And of course you've gone and made the
situation worse with each move you've made...
probably to the point where there's not much
you're going to be able to do about it.
Just get on with your life, and let this be a
lesson to you and anyone reading this. Don't act
like a WUSSY! Don't tell a woman you "like" her
too early on. Don't call her too often. Don't act
clingy and needy. STOP THAT!
When you act like a Wuss, women lose their
ATTRACTION for you... and they can't even explain
why it's happening.
So stop it!
I have to say first and foremost that you are a
genius. While I have had some very good looking
girlfriends, it never dawned on me the reason that
we were never together very long was because I
acted like a wuss, and got way too clingy. I am
not a great looking guy, but most girls (even
really good looking ones), have described me as
being "cute" (consequently, I have realized that a
guy's looks have very, very little to do with
being successful with women--maybe like 5%). I
have been putting your tactics to work lately and
I have to admit they work like a charm, as I have
gotten more email addresses and phone numbers than
I know what to do with. I am a House DJ in a
nightclub and this affords me the perfect
opportunity to talk to good looking girls since I
am approached by or talked to at least 3 or 4
times a night by such girls, either asking me
questions about the music or if I have a certain
song. While I don't have a lot of time to talk to
them (usually no more than 2 or 3 minutes), I have
been able to get their email and phone numbers
very quickly using your techniques (even when
their boyfriends are with them at the
club...hahahaha... more on that later). Basically,
I start busting on them about something or other
and get them laughing (usually because they don't
know the name of the song and start trying to
imitate it or sing the words in it...), and then I
come out with "So, are you single?". Most of the
time they tell me "no, I have a boyfriend".
Now this is an important point for a lot of your
readers. Everyone, listen up!
Just because a woman says she has a boyfriend
doesn't mean it's true.
I have found on numerous occasions that women I
have gotten emails and phone numbers from have
been single, after they have told me they have a
boyfriend. It almost seems like they are using it
as a test to see what you are going to do. I
really don't get it, but I stopped trying to
figure it out, just follow your advice and don't
let it worry me. Most of the time when they say
they have boyfriends they offer no resistance when
I ask for their email and phone number. (Forgive
me Dave, I haven't followed your advice to the
"T". I admit I haven't attempted the "it was nice
meeting you, I need to get back to work." and then
as she is leaving say "Hey! do you have an email?"
The method I use has been working pretty good for
me, but I will try doing this when I meet women
outside the club, especially the ones at the gym I
go to-- which I haven't really approached yet)
One case that stands out in particular happened
last weekend when this extremely hot brunette with
a body to die for (probably 9.75/10) came up and
we started talking.(the guy running the lights
almost started drooling) She told me right off
the bat she had a boyfriend. I asked if she was
tired of him yet, and she giggled and said "no,
we've been going out for about 3 years, we've had
our ups and downs, but things are going allright
now.", smiled and then said to me "you are so
sweet though" and put her head on my shoulder. She
then immediately asked me "Why, are you single?" I
laughed and said "Maybe. Why, do you know someone
who might be interested in me?" She smiIed again,
and I knew I had her at this point. I then said
"Don't you think it's going to be hard to think of
your boyfriend when it's so obvious you are
attracted to me?" She smiled again and kind of
cocked her head sideways, but didn't say anything,
so I followed up with "Wow, three years is a long
time...when's the wedding date?" She said "Oh, he
isn't really the kind of guy I'm looking to
marry...", and I said "then stop wasting your time
with him and give me your email address." She gave
me a "deer in the headlights" look, like she was
in shock at what I said, but then immediately said
"OK", took the pen and proceeded to write it down.
While she was doing this I said "and go ahead and
write down you phone number too." She said "OK"
again and wrote it down. Then she handed it to me
and said, almost reluctantly "I have a boyfriend
you know...". I then pulled a line that one of
your other readers used in one of the newsletters
(these newsletters definitely come in handy!
Sometimes I almost fall out my chair laughing at
what some of the other people write in with...
hahaha), saying "Look, I understand that must be a
major accomplishment for someone that looks like
you. I can't imagine any guy that would want to be
seen in public with you. He probably got tired of
you begging..." She acted hurt, slapped me in the
arm and said "you are so mean!" My song was
running out at this point, so I told her I needed
to get back to work, and she kissed me on the
cheek, rubbed her hand from my shoulder down my
chest and said "you better call me..." and left.
In the past I would have just talked to her for a
minute, found out she had a boyfriend and then
stopped talking to her, but after reading your
material I just keep going, and I am realizing
that most women will still give out their
information to a total stranger even when they
have boyfriends. I was shocked to find this out! I
asked one of my woman friends about this and she
laughed and told me that most women aren't
entirely happy with their relationships. I asked
her why do they keep going out with that person if
they really aren't happy and she said "because
nothing better has come along..." Amazing!
Thanks again! Keep up the good work!
M.E.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh well, THE CAT IS OUT OF THE BAG NOW!
Yes, women will say ALL KINDS OF THINGS when
you first meet them... especially attractive
women.
But, as you've seen, these things often aren't
true, or are just smoke screens to protect them
from having to deal with a bunch of loser guys who
want to waste their time.
Your email is great. It should be read 10 times
by any guy who is learning about this stuff, and
memorized.
By the way, GREAT CHOICE OF OCCUPATIONS.
One of the very best things you can do for your
success with women is to PUT YOURSELF IN A
POSITION THAT CAUSES THEM TO APPROACH YOU.
Be a musician, a pottery or yoga or dance
teacher, a DJ, a bartender, or a women's shoe
salesman.
This is an amazing way to really improve your
skills with women and skyrocket your success.
Your material is golden. The c+f routine and
tips have done me wonders, but you know they work
so ill get to the point. I have been working on
this girl for quite some time (shes a ten and
worth it), I built the anticipation, got her to
give me her phone number: she has asked me to hang
out and repeatedly emailed me askin me what I'm up
to. However! I waited a little while to actually
ask her to hang out (to make me look a little
busy), but when I did call her and ask her to hang
out she said sure, and said she would call me
right back and never did!......and to make things
worse, she wrote me an email the next day tellin
me she forgot to call me back! she's so sorry, bla
bla bla etc........I know the girl thinks about me
and I know she wants to hang out with me, why
would she do that?......calling her repeatedly
would be a wussy move: am i right?.....I blew it
of and gave her a c+f answer saying do u expect me
to believe that, I'm starting to think I make you
nervous. I honestly don't think she forgot, is
this a game?......This is the first 10 I've
encountered since I've used your techniques so I
need some advice. I wanna make this one count.
Thanks Dave PLEASE WRITE BACK!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Nice... you're doing great.
Here's something to remember:
Attractive women are approached ALL THE TIME by
men.
Some attractive women give out their number
several times every night they go out.
This is reality.
Often, attractive women will actually give out
their number JUST TO GET RID OF YOU.
Really.
Some women get an "ego hit" of power and self
esteem when a lot of guys are calling them.
But this leads to another problem... the
problem of not having enough time to see all of
these men (or never even intending to from the
beginning).
You're going to find that a lot of women "flake
out" when you make plans with them.
I will say that the fact that she emailed you
the next day to tell you that she forgot to call
you is a positive sign. If she just wanted you to
go away, she wouldn't have done this.
You need to bust her balls, make fun of her for
flaking, and tell her that she's on strike one.
You might want to tell her "Well, since you
flaked out on me once, now you have to take ME
out. Here's my address and the directions to my
house. Come pick me up."
You need to let her know that it's NOT OK for
her to be flaky, and at the same time use her
flaky behavior as material to tease her with.
Be persistent. You'll learn how to deal with
this as you date more women.
I have been reading your emails for about 6
months and think you are totally, exactly,
completely, right on target. I just started dating
a guy that I am attracted to and I who really
like, but I don't feel strong attraction. I
realized that it's because I'm a bit of a
smartass, and most of the time when I bust on him,
he takes it - I really don't want him to at all,
ever! Do you have any advice for women on how to
get a man to "be a man"?! Is there something I
could say to him that would do the trick? Maybe a
little less blunt than "I really need a man who
won't take my crap, can you do that?" He doesn't
have email (yes, he does have electricity!) and I
don't know him well enough yet to tell him to buy
your book - we've only had one date. I just want
him to stop letting me get away with being a brat!
Please don't tell me I have to stop being a brat -
that would ruin the fun. I look forward to your
speedy reply - as we'll be going on another date
this weekend! Thanks for all that you do for the
women of the world. You are my hero. :)
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, yes. That's me...
David DeAngelo, the unselfish helper of women.
Well, here's the deal. Trying to teach a guy
how to stop acting like a WUSSY isn't easy.
I would suggest that you send him to my website
and tell him to read my newsletters.
I realize that it doesn't sound very romantic,
but you have a choice: Either help him to stop
acting so damn "nice" or tell him to get lost.
Hey, maybe he'd make a "sweet, minivan driving
house-husband" for you?
Sounds charming, doesn't it?
NOTE TO GUYS: Women aren't ATTRACTED to "nice".
I'm still bumbed out on one thing though i have
read the book unstoppable confidence and it says
the way to get along with people is similarity
cooperation and praise you are telling me its
being a total jerk i just don't get it please help
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I am not, do not, and have not EVER told ANYONE
that "The way to get along with people is to be a
total jerk."
Never.
No no no.
What I DO say is that jerks often create an
amazing feeling of ATTRACTION inside of women, and
that there are ways that the average guy like you
and me can take some of those things that "jerks"
do, and use these powerful techniques WITHOUT THE
ABUSIVE PARTS to make women attracted to US
instead.
Make no mistake about it, I don't think it's a
good idea to act like a "jerk" to other people.
But I DO think it's a GREAT idea to tease
women, bust on them, be Cocky & Funny, and play
hard to get.
You need to pay more specific attention to what
I'm saying, and stop looking to pop psychology and
self-help books to teach you how to attract women.
First off, let me say that your newsletters and
E-Book are awesome. They satisfied nearly every
inquiry I have had in regards to getting started
with women. Needless to say my success rate has
gone through the roof! I will be ordering the
audio series soon. ...Which brings me to my
question. This is a complex one, with story behind
so please bear with me.. Here goes:
I am recently single and jumped back into the
dating game. One of the first nights I went out as
a single man, one of my female friends and I
kissed on a bet. I did not know of the bet, but I
thought nothing of it after I found out. Although
the girl that had kissed me was attractive, i had
no feeling for her, just as I thought there was no
feeling on her side. We will refer the this girl
as Girl A. We saw each other a couple more times,
with added intimacy but left things on a very
strictly emotionless basis. She had commented
that she did not want me getting attached, and I
reminded her that there was no cause for her to
worry. Some days later, hanging out in a bar with
the same group of friends, I employed some of your
most valuable tactics and met Girl B. Things were
much different. I was very attracted to Girl B
and I felt as though I had her attention as well.
We talked at the bar, and as it turns out she is
very good friends with some of my other female
friends. We all ended up back at a friend's
apartment, and Girl B and I sat on the couch, and
talked for hours. We eventually decided to stay
over and sort of fell over. We made a week
attempt at sleeping and ended up kissing and
holding each other all night. It was everything
that I wanted to happen. Because I am a gentleman,
I did nothing more than kiss. I felt chemistry
and did not want to rush things. Besides, the
anticipation is fun! The very next weekend, there
was a party at the same apartment. Both Girl A
and Girl B were present. Needless to say I payed
attention to Girl B. Contrary to my original
thoughts, Girl A did not like this. Towards the
end of the night, girl A made a scene and called
me out to discuss this. After clearing up the
problem, I went back looking for Girl B, but did
not find her. I was advised that she was on her
way to the car. I caught her on her way to the car
and asked her if i could talk to her. after an
explanation of the situation, and assurance that
girl A is out of the picture, she gave me her
phone #s and thats how we left it. Since, Girl B
has been reluctant to return calls and get
together. A situation that had worked great from
the start is now compromised by someone else...
How can I win back the affections of girl B. I
felt a connection with her, and would love to get
back on the right track. Our mutual friends have
not been of assistance so far. I try calling, but
I feel as though if I called as much as I'd like
to I'd look like a wuss. I have had no problem
with setting up mystery. I drive a hot car, play
semi pro sports, and use these things carefully
and only discuss when asked. Don't want to look
too arrogant! What else should I try, or how
should I act to achieve the desired result? I
know getting another girl, or even flirting in
front of her, while not impossible would kill any
chances... While "Cocky and Funny" got my foot in
the door, I don't know if it is right for the
situation.
Your Thoughts...
E.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Your email is profound. There are many lessons
that can be learned from it, and I want to point
out a few of them...
The first one is that JEALOUSY can actually
LEAD TO LOVE.
This situation where girl A didn't have any
"feelings" for you until she saw you with girl B
is the RULE, not the exception.
If your significant other breaks up with you,
one of the best things you can do to get them back
is to:
1) Act like you're OK with their decision to
leave.
2) Start dating other people and let them know
about it.
This combination alone is usually enough to
make them come back to you.
JEALOUSY IS POWERFUL.
It's FAR more powerful than most people
suspect.
Jealousy causes people to do crazy things and
feel VERY powerful emotions... from love to hate.
Your mistake in this situation was this:
When girl A "made a scene and called you out to
discuss the situation" you WENT WITH HER.
If I was in that situation, I would have just
looked at her and said "You might want to consider
acting like an adult here. I'll talk to you
another time."
I'm guessing that to girl B you just came
across as a whipped wussy who was cheating on his
girlfriend, etc.
Girl B didn't know you long enough to
understand the relationship and have enough
invested to FEEL jealous in this situation.
Ironically, the best thing you can probably do
is get on with your life, and date other women.
And in the future, don't allow a woman to throw
a tantrum and control you AND the situation.
Trying to "get her back" is a losing game in
most situations... because the act alone suggests
that you're needy (especially when you don't even
know a woman very well, and you're trying to "get
her back" after one or two dates).
The best thing to do is get on with your life,
then call her in a month or two to see if she
wants to have coffee.
Don't talk about heavy things, and don't
mention anything about what happened. Just be
casual.
You've learned a very valuable lesson, so
remember it.
As a side note, I want to thank you for your
email, and thank you for the compliments on my
eBook. Most guys think that if they "drove a hot
car and played semi-pro sports", they wouldn't
need this material... but as you know, if you
don't understand how women and dating "work", then
almost nothing can help you.
...and by the way, if you're reading this
Mailbag right now and you are wondering how you
can take your success with women and dating to the
next level RIGHT NOW, then I'd recommend that you
start out with my eBook "Double Your Dating". In a
few hours worth of reading, you can learn the
basics that have taken me literally YEARS to
figure out. Just go to:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
...and you can download it and be reading it in
a just a few minutes from right now.
If you've read my eBook and want to REALLY get
a world-class education about how to attract
women, then I'd recommend you invest in my
Advanced CD/DVD Series. You can listen to me
personally teach over 12 full hours of the most
advanced concepts available anywhere in the world
on meeting and dating women. Just go to:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
On that page you'll also find several video
clips from the program, so check them out.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
David D.
P.S. You can see every program I've created... and
watch video clips of each of them... right here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/
--------------------------------------------------
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