Why A Wussy Can't Attract Women

Why A Wussy Can't Attract Women

***QUESTION***

Dave,

I got your book and I've read it twice. It's helped
me to pinpoint areas where I need to improve and basically
understand some of why women do what they do. However
I have a situation. Normally, I'm a smart ass, I'm
always making smart comments, and a general joker.
The problem is, when I go to a club or a bar, with
gorgeous HBs [Hot Babes], my mind goes blank. It's
almost like my brain locks and all i can do is look
without anything to say. Needless to say it frustrates
the hell outta me. Any advice? Should I do some affirmations?
How do I overcome this?

Signed,

Pissed off in DC

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I think your problem is really pretty simple.

You are experiencing something that I have been through
a bazillion times. In fact, I think that most guys
have been through this cycle at some point in life.

One of the ideas that I teach is "Have one good default
thing to do in each common situation".

In other words, it sounds to me like you just haven't
taken the time to work out a basic system for yourself
that will allow you to meet any woman you come across
in one of these situations.

Here's your homework:

Take out a piece of paper right now, and write down
your one single favorite way to start a conversation
with a woman.

Next, plan out EXACTLY how it should go in your mind.

Next, mentally rehearse this scenario over and over
and over until you have it clearly in your mind.

Finally, go out tomorrow night and use this one introduction
to meet 10 women.

The next day, sit down again for a few minutes and
think about how it worked for you.

Think about ways you could improve your approach,
and if you come up with some good innovations, go
ahead and do the same process of mentally rehearsing
the new ideas until you have them down.

One thing that really makes me laugh is that MOST
GUYS SPEND MORE TIME REHEARSING THEIR VOICEMAIL
MESSAGE THAN THEY DO REHEARSING SCENARIOS WITH
WOMEN.

You need one good, solid, default thing to do in each
common situation with women. So pick one, and refine
it until your mind no longer goes blank!

***COMMENT***

Hey, one of the things I noticed about stupid guys
who can't get laid or even a phone number is that
they aren't around women enough. Having your own business,
or doing sales makes you realize that you have to
let people, or in this case women know about your
product, you. I am always amazed by guys who whine
they can't meet any chicks and then stay home and
masturbate on a Friday night, or even worse drink
at some dive bar where there are no women. This may
sound rudimentary but go shopping once in a while,
be around them; there are insecure women everywhere
for the taking, especially on a Sunday afternoon,
if you know what I mean.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Preach it, my brother.

Sometimes I don't mention the obvious enough, and
I thank you for reminding me and everyone else of
one of the basic fundamental truths of being successful
with women.

Thanks again!

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Hi,

I read some of your articles that I found very interesting.
My brother shows me it and tell me a lot of things
that he had learned. But I used to ask him, what can
I do to attract man. He suggest me to ask you, maybe
you can give me some advice or show me a good link
for women.

For about 13 years, I was part of a very strict religion.
Now I'm out of it. I'm 28 years old and still virgin.
I feel very naive about relationships and sex and
I'm looking for good advices about these topics. Which
websites would you recommend me? Is your program going
to help a female? I would really appreciate your help.

Thanks in advance.

D.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, if you want to get the virginity thing handled,
just go out any night to any bar in any town and walk
up to any guy and say "Hi, would you like to have
sex?"

It goes without saying that you'll want to use protection,
but as a woman I don't think you're going to have
much of a problem meeting a willing man!

lol...

I thought your email was interesting because most
guys assume WAY too much about women, and they don't
realize that women are insecure, inexperienced, and
uncertain in many situations as well.

***QUESTION***

Dave,

First off, fantastic book! It's the Holy Grail of
Manhood, methinks! I have plenty of girls getting
a rise out of my C-F attitude--it doesn't make sense
at all but, like you say, to them it's magic. For
example, a few weeks ago I approached a really attractive
girl (about an 8.5) at a stopwalk downtown by busting
on her about her platform heels she had on (made some
reference to Studio 54), got her digits and told her
we should have coffee sometime--she loved the idea.
When we met downtown for coffee, she said there was
a particular shoppe she would like to go to, I firmly
said 'No' and took her to another one. It was fantastic
Dave!!! The day was beautiful and, yes, there was
much more for dessert that day than my Biscotti :)

Now, I just graduated college and work in a large
midwestern city. I'm a good looking guy, well dressed,
smart, pretty nice job, stylish...the whole package,
right? I also have a thing for older women...MILF's
if you will. I've recently been hitting this martini
bar where quite a few attractive (and well-to-do)
women go. I've been reluctant to use the CF technique
that I use on college girls on older women, as they
probably don't play the same 'games' younger ladies
do. What is your advice? Younger girls are great and
energetic, but those 35-year old's have something
you only get with age...experience.

Thanks Dave!! Can't wait for the next book!!

D, Indianapolis

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Mature, intelligent women LOVE a Cocky & Funny man.

I think you're going to find that sophisticated women
are FAR MORE receptive to your new charm techniques
than their younger counterparts...

But be careful. Older women are more experienced,
have been through more games, and know what they want
and how to get it.

You might be writing me soon to ask me why your new
girlfriend has you wearing a collar and barking like
a dog.

***QUESTION***

Dear Dave,

First off, props to you on the book. The book is really
about how to take control of your life and get what
you want from it. That's awesome. I dated this really
gorgeous chick that was in med school. I did the whole
cocky and funny routine. Works like magic. Here's
an example: "I love you, V." Me laughing ... I love
me too. That's when I had to bail on her. She even
bought me some pimp Versace gear.

I am stuck in a difficult situation. Due to the way
I look, dress, and talk, girls assume that I am a
player. I am very,very inexperienced however. I have
had a few times where I am about to seal the deal,
and some girl will ask me, "How many girls have you
been with ?" or "You are a player aren't you ?" I
have never sealed the deal and if I tell them this
they don't believe me and some will just get mad and
leave. I am not sure what I should say in this situation.
I think some of your book is based on being able to
kiss properly such as the kiss test or the c+f comment,
"I don't even know if you kiss well. " I do not even
know how to kiss properly. I can be cocky and funny
and can attract girls but then I don't know how to
be cocky and funny and bring up that I have never
done anything. Please help me resolve this because
armed with my determination and my improving skills.

V-Man

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You're too much.

She even bought you "some pimp Versace gear"?

Nice!

OK, you say that you've read my book, but you must
have missed page 62. I explain exactly how to deal
with this kind of situation (questions you don't want
to answer).

Here, let me get creative for you...

She asks: "Are you a player?"

You answer: "Are you trying to hide the fact that
YOU are?"

One key in situations like this is to NEVER give a
woman a direct answer.

Use your Cocky & Funny skills to come up with 5 good
answers, and use them.

Maybe say: "Yes, I play sports... what do you like?"

As you can see, I like to turn questions and accusations
around and guess that they're trying to hide the fact
that what they're asking about is something wrong
with THEM.

Just don't answer directly... and most women will
give up.

If you get defensive and say "Oh, no no no... I'm
not a Player at all..." most women won't believe
you anyway - even if you're NOT a player.

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave, well, like everyone else that's written
I must say your book helped, even before when I read
your letters every week they helped. I've had a lot
of success. Well I would of never expected myself
to email you, cause there was really no point, cause
your book helped a lot, but sadly... that day has
come, where I need help.. oh yes. Ok, Thanks to you
I got jiggy with it, got girls, but I fell head over
heals with this one girl. Make a long story short.
I went out with her, she'd always have fun, but still
I wasn't always at my full potential cause she was
the one that made me feel all tingly inside and I
had just gotten your book. But, there was this one
occasion where I listened to my friend.. he said "tell
her you like her".. but I knew I shouldn't cause you
always say never tell a girl you like them. Well,
you guessed it. I told her that. And everything started
going down hill after that. And to make matters worse,
I finished everything off with her, and well said
some things I regret. After that happened and tried
to forget about her, but she IMed me once saying she
wanted to give me back something I had given her for
her birthday, but she didn't want to give it to me
personally. Still had fun teasin her, but nothing.
Then I went out with some girls got #'s to keep my
mind off her. Went on vacation. but nothing. 2 months
without her drove me crazy, so I emailed her a couple
times 3 to be exact. Made them as cocky and funny as
they could be. But no cigar. Now I'm just doomed. Sure
people have told me to move on, and probably you'll
say that. But I've tried, but I feel like she's the
one. But she despises me, or so I think. So Dave,
is there something you can tell this grashopper to
try get her back or try to do to I don't know.. it's
tough though.

Sincerely,

B.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ouch.

As you know, you've done a VERY VERY VERY bad thing...

YOU TURNED INTO A WUSSY!

Here's your homework:

Take out an entire blank notebook full of paper and
write the following by hand:

"I will not act like a WUSSY. I will not act like
a WUSSY. I will not act like a WUSSY."

When you've filled the notebook you may stop.

Get it?

WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.

And of course you've gone and made the situation worse
with each move you've made... probably to the point
where there's not much you're going to be able to
do about it.

Just get on with your life, and let this be a lesson
to you and anyone reading this. Don't act like a WUSSY!
Don't tell a woman you "like" her too early on. Don't
call her too often. Don't act clingy and needy. STOP
THAT!

When you act like a Wuss, women lose their ATTRACTION
for you... and they can't even explain why it's happening.

So stop that!

***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,

I have to say first and foremost that you are a genius.
While I have had some very good looking girlfriends,
it never dawned on me the reason that we were never
together very long was because I acted like a wuss,
and got way too clingy. I am not a great looking guy,
but most girls (even really good looking ones), have
described me as being "cute" (consequently, I have
realized that a guy's looks have very, very little
to do with being successful with women--maybe like
5%). I have been putting your tactics to work lately
and I have to admit they work like a charm, as I have
gotten more email addresses and phone numbers than
I know what to do with. I am a House DJ in a nightclub
and this affords me the perfect opportunity to talk
to good looking girls since I am approached by or talked
to at least 3 or 4 times a night by such girls, either
asking me questions about the music or if I have a
certain song. While I don't have a lot of time to
talk to them (usually no more than 2 or 3 minutes),
I have been able to get their email and phone numbers
very quickly using your techniques (even when their
boyfriends are with them at the club...hahahaha...
more on that later). Basically, I start busting on
them about something or other and get them laughing
(usually because they don't know the name of the song
and start trying to imitate it or sing the words in
it...), and then I come out with "So, are you single?".
Most of the time they tell me "no, I have a boyfriend".

Now this is an important point for a lot of your
readers. Everyone, listen up!

Just because a woman says she has a boyfriend doesn't
mean it's true.

I have found on numerous occasions that women I have
gotten emails and phone numbers from have been single,
after they have told me they have a boyfriend. It
almost seems like they are using it as a test to see
what you are going to do. I really don't get it, but
I stopped trying to figure it out, just follow your
advice and don't let it worry me. Most of the time
when they say they have boyfriends they offer no resistance
when I ask for their email and phone number. (Forgive
me Dave, I haven't followed your advice to the "T".
I admit I haven't attempted the "it was nice meeting
you, I need to get back to work." and then as she is
leaving say "Hey! do you have an email?" The method
I use has been working pretty good for me, but I will
try doing this when I meet women outside the club,
especially the ones at the gym I go to-- which I haven't
really approached yet)

One case that stands out in particular happened last
weekend when this extremely hot brunette with a body
to die for (probably 9.75/10) came up and we started
talking.(the guy running the lights almost started
drooling) She told me right off the bat she had a
boyfriend. I asked if she was tired of him yet, and
she giggled and said "no, we've been going out for
about 3 years, we've had our ups and downs, but things
are going allright now.", smiled and then said to me
"you are so sweet though" and put her head on my shoulder.
She then immediately asked me "Why, are you single?"
I laughed and said "Maybe. Why, do you know someone
who might be interested in me?" She smiIed again,
and I knew I had her at this point. I then said "Don't
you think it's going to be hard to think of your boyfriend
when it's so obvious you are attracted to me?" She
smiled again and kind of cocked her head sideways,
but didn't say anything, so I followed up with "Wow,
three years is a long time...when's the wedding date?"
She said "Oh, he isn't really the kind of guy I'm
looking to marry...", and I said "then stop wasting
your time with him and give me your email address."
She gave me a "deer in the headlights" look, like she
was in shock at what I said, but then immediately said
"OK", took the pen and proceeded to write it down. While
she was doing this I said "and go ahead and write down
you phone number too." She said "OK" again and wrote
it down. Then she handed it to me and said, almost
reluctantly "I have a boyfriend you know...". I then
pulled a line that one of your other readers used in
one of the newsletters (these newsletters definately
come in handy! Sometimes I almost fall out my chair
laughing at what some of the other people write in with...
hahaha), saying "Look, I understand that must be a major
accomplishment for someone that looks like you. I can't
imagine any guy that would want to be seen in public
with you. He probably got tired of you begging..."
She acted hurt, slapped me in the arm and said "you
are so mean!" My song was running out at this point,
so I told her I needed to get back to work, and she
kissed me on the cheek, rubbed her hand from my shoulder
down my chest and said "you better call me..." and
left.

In the past I would have just talked to her for a
minute, found out she had a boyfriend and then stopped
talking to her, but after reading your material I
just keep going, and I am realizing that most women
will still give out their information to a total stranger
even when they have boyfriends. I was shocked to find
this out! I asked one of my woman friends about this
and she laughed and told me that most women aren't
entirely happy with their relationships. I asked her
why do they keep going out with that person if they
really aren't happy and she said "because nothing
better has come along..." Amazing!

Thanks again! Keep up the good work!

M.E.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, well THE CAT IS OUT OF THE BAG NOW!

Yes, women will say ALL KINDS OF THINGS when you first
meet them... especially attractive women.

But as you've seen, these things often aren't true,
or are just smoke screens to protect them from having
to deal with a bunch of loser guys who want to waste
their time.

Your email is great. It should be read 10 times by
any guy who is learning about this stuff, and memorized.

By the way, GREAT CHOICE OF OCCUPATIONS.

One of the very best things you can do for your success
with women is to PUT YOURSELF IN A POSITION THAT CAUSES
THEM TO APPROACH YOU.

Be a dance teacher, a musician, a pottery or yoga
teacher, a DJ, a bartender, or a women's shoe salesman.

This is an amazing way to really improve your skills
with women and skyrocket your success.

***QUESTION***

Dave,

Your material is golden. The c+f routine and tips
have done me wonders, but you know they work so ill
get to the point. I have been working on this girl
for quite some time (shes a ten and worth it), I
built the anticipation, got her to give me her phone
number: she has asked me to hang out and repeatedly
emailed me askin me what im up to. However! I waited
a little while to actually ask her to hang out (to make
me look a little busy), but when I did call her and
ask her to hang out she said sure, and said she would
call me right back and never did!......and to make
things worse, she wrote me an email the next day tellin
me she forgot to call me back! shes so sorry, bla bla
bla etc........I know the girl thinks about me and I
know she wants to hang out with me, why would she do
that?......callin her repeatedly would be a wussy move:
am i right?.....I blew it of and gave her a c+f answer
sayin do u expect me to believe that, im startin to
think I make you nervous. I honestly don't think she
forgot, is this a game?......This is the first 10
ive encountered since ive used your techniques so I
need some advice. I wanna make this one count.

Thanks Dave
PLEASE WRITE BACK!

JR
New Jersey

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Nice... you're doing great.

Here's something to remember:

Attractive women are approached ALL THE TIME by men.

Some attractive women give out their number several
times every night they go out.

This is reality.

Often, attractive women will actually give out their
number JUST TO GET RID OF YOU.

Really.

Some women get an "ego hit" of power and self esteem
when a lot of guys are calling them.

But this leads to another problem... the problem of
not having enough time to see all of these men (or
never even intending to from the beginning).

You're going to find that a lot of women "flake out"
when you make plans with them.

I will say that the fact that she emailed you the
next day to tell you that she forgot to call you is
a positive sign. If she just wanted you to go away,
she wouldn't have done this.

You need to bust her balls, make fun of her for flaking,
and tell her that she's on strike one.

You might want to tell her "Well, since you flaked
out on me once, now you have to take ME out. Here's
my address and the directions to my house. Come pick
me up."

You need to let her know that it's NOT OK for her
to be flaky, and at the same time use her flaky behavior
as material to tease her with.

Be persistent. You'll learn how to deal with this
as you date more women.

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Hi,

I have been reading your emails for about 6 months
and think you are totally, exactly, completely, right
on target. I just started dating a guy that I am attracted
to and I who really like, but I don't feel strong
attraction. I realized that it's because I'm a bit
of a smartass, and most of the time when I bust on
him, he takes it - I really don't want him to at all,
ever! Do you have any advice for women on how to get
a man to "be a man"?! Is there something I could
say to him that would do the trick? Maybe a little
less blunt than "I really need a man who won't take
my crap, can you do that?" He doesn't have email (yes,
he does have electricity!) and I don't know him well
enough yet to tell him to buy your book - we've only
had one date. I just want him to stop letting me get
away with being a brat! Please don't tell me I have
to stop being a brat - that would ruin the fun. I look
forward to your speedy reply - as we'll be going on
another date this weekend! Thanks for all that you
do for the women of the world. You are my hero. :)

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, yes. That's me...

David DeAngelo, the unselfish helper of women.

Well, here's the deal. Trying to teach a guy how to
stop acting like a WUSSY isn't easy.

I would suggest that you send him to my website and
tell him to read my newsletters.

I realize that it doesn't sound very romantic, but
you have a choice: Either help him to stop acting
so damn "nice" or tell him to get lost.

Hey, maybe he'd make a "Sweet, minivan driving house-husband"
for you?

Sounds charming, doesn't it?

NOTE TO GUYS: Women aren't ATTRACTED to "nice".

***QUESTION***

great newsletter

im still bumbed out on one thing though i have read
the book unstoppable confidence and it says the way
to get along with people is similarity cooperation
and praise you are telling me its being a total jerk
i just dont get it please help

j

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I am not, do not, and have not EVER told ANYONE that
"The way to get along with people is to be a total
jerk."

Never.

No no no.

What I DO say is that jerks often create an amazing
feeling of ATTRACTION inside of women, and that there
are ways that the average guy like you and me can take
some of those things that "jerks" do, and use these
powerful techniques WITHOUT THE ABUSIVE PARTS to make
women feel attract to US instead.

Make no mistake about it, I don't think it's a good
idea to act like a "jerk" to other people.

But I DO think it's a GREAT idea to tease women, bust
on them, be Cocky & Funny, and play hard to get.

You need to pay more specific attention to what I'm
saying, and stop looking to pop psychology and
self-help books to teach how to attract women.

***QUESTION***

David,

First off, let me say that your newsletters and E-Book
are awesome. They satisfied nearly every inquiry I
have had in regards to getting started with women.
Needless to say my success rate has gone through the
roof! I will be ordering the audio series soon.
...Which brings me to my question. This is a complex
one, with story behind so please bear with me.. Here
goes:

I am recently single and jumped back into the dating
game. One of the first nights I went out as a single
man, one of my female friends and I kissed on a bet.
I did not know of the bet, but I thought nothing of it
after I found out. Although the girl that had kissed
me was attractive, i had no feeling for her, just as
I thought there was no feeling on her side. We will
refer the this girl as Girl A. We saw each other a
couple more times, with added intimacy but left things
on a very strictly emotionless basis. She had commented
that she did not want me getting attached, and I
reminded her that there was no cause for her to worry.
Some days later, hanging out in a bar with the same
group of friends, I employed some of your most valuable
tactics and met Girl B. Things were much different.
I was very attracted to Girl B and I felt as though I
had her attention as well. We talked at the bar, and
as it turns out she is very good friends with some of
my other female friends. We all ended up back at a
friend's apartment, and Girl B and I sat on the couch,
and talked for hours. We eventually decided to stay
over and sort of fell over. We made a week attempt at
sleeping and ended up kissing and holding each other
all night. It was everything that I wanted to happen.
Because I am a gentleman, I did nothing more than
kiss. I felt chemistry and did not want to rush
things. Besides, the anticipation is fun! The very next
weekend, there was a party at the same apartment.
Both Girl A and Girl B were present. Needless to say I
payed attention to Girl B. Contrary to my original
thoughts, Girl A did not like this. Towards the end
of the night, girl A made a scene and called me out to
discuss this. After clearing up the problem, I went
back looking for Girl B, but did not find her. I was
advised that she was on her way to the car. I caught her
on her way to the car and asked her if i could
talk to her. after an explanation of the situation,
and assurance that girl A is out of the picture, she
gave me her phone #s and thats how we left it. Since,
Girl B has been reluctant to return calls and get
together. A situation that had worked great from the
start is now compromised by someone else...

How can I win back the affections of girl B. I felt a
connection with her, and would love to get back on the
right track. Our mutual friends have not been of
assistance so far. I try calling, but I feel as though
if I called as much as I'd like to I'd look like a
wuss. I have had no problem with setting up mystery.
I drive a hot car, play semi pro sports, and use these
things carefully and only discuss when asked. Don't
want to look too arrogant! What else should I try, or
how should I act to achieve the desired result? I
know getting another girl, or even flirting in front
of her, while not impossible would kill any chances...
While "Cocky and Funny" got my foot in the door,
I don't know if it is right for the situation.

Your Thoughts...

E.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Your email is profound. There are many lessons that
can be learned from it, and I want to point out a
few of them...

The first one is that JEALOUSY can actually LEAD TO
LOVE.

This situation where girl A didn't have any
"feelings" for you until she saw you with girl B is
the RULE, not the exception.

If your significant other breaks up with you, one
of the best things you can do to get them back is
to:

1) Act like you're OK with their decision to leave.

2) Start dating other people and let them know about
it.

This combination alone is usually enough to make
them come back to you.

JEALOUSY IS POWERFUL.

It's FAR more powerful than most people suspect.

Jealousy causes people to do crazy things and feel
VERY powerful emotions... from love to hate.

Your mistake in this situation was this:

When girl A "made a scene and called you out to
discuss the situation" you WENT WITH HER.

If I was in that situation, I would have just looked
at her and said "You might want to consider acting
like an adult here. I'll talk to you another time."

I'm guessing that to girl B you just came across as
a whipped wussy who was cheating on his girlfriend,
etc.

Girl B didn't know you long enough to understand the
relationship and have enough invested to FEEL
jealous in this situation.

Ironically, the best thing you can probably do is
get on with your life, and date other women.

And in the future, don't allow a woman to throw a
tantrum and control you and a situation.

Trying to "get her back" is a losing game in most
situations... because the act alone suggests that
you're needy (especially when you don't even know
a woman very well, and you're trying to "get her
back" after one or two dates).

The best thing to do is get on with your life, then
call her in a month or two to see if she wants to
have coffee.

Don't talk about heavy things, and don't mention
anything about what happened. Just be casual.

You've learned a very valuable lesson, so remember
it.

As a side note, I want to thank you for your email,
and thank you for the compliments on my book. Most
guys think that if they "drove a hot car and played
semi-pro sports" that they wouldn't need this
material... but as you know, if you don't understand
how women and dating "work", then almost nothing can
help you.

...and by the way, if you're reading this Mailbag
right now and you are wondering how you can take
your success with women and dating to the next level
RIGHT NOW, then I'd recommend that you start out with
my eBook "Double Your Dating". In a few hours worth
of reading, you can learn the basics that have taken
me literally YEARS to figure out. Just go to:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook

...and you can download it and be reading it in a just
a few minutes from right now.

If you've read my eBook and want to REALLY get a
world-class education about how to attract women,
then I'd recommend you invest in my Advanced CD/DVD
Series. You can listen to me personally teach over
12 full hours of the most advanced concepts available
anywhere in the world on meeting and dating women.
Just go to:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries

...for all the details. On that page you'll also find
several samples from the program, so check them out.

And I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

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