How To "Bounce Back" From A Breakup
NOTE: I have created a special program to
transform you into the type of guy that the
world's most attractive women all secretly
and not-so-secretly DREAM of getting and
KEEPING. If you're ready to join this elite
club of men and start experiencing the type
of success with women that most guys will
only see in movies and on TV, go here now:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/ManTransformation/
***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***
I am at the end of long long divorce settlement -
(18 months) I started dating about six months
after our split -- meeting most on the internet-
Found I was naturally using some cocky and funny
but accelerated when I started getting your
newsletter.
Meeting them and lining them up has been no
problem-but once we are intimate --they want
exclusivity--I can't know what I want yet (except
sex)--but don't want some of the good ones to get
away--I keep hearing "you want your cake and eat
it too!!"
Also---had one I was dating recently--wanted to
know about anybody and everyone else I was seeing
---said the openness was good for a relationship.
I disagreed??
rb--michigan
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I'm glad you wrote in because I think that this
is a topic that is near and dear to a lot of
single men.
And, even though I have not been married
myself, I know what it's like to be in a
relationship for a couple of years and then all of
a sudden be single again... and I know what it's
like to start over again.
You have brought up some great points here, so
let's see if I can add some insight.
First, I think that it's pretty natural for a
guy who has just ended a long term relationship to
feel rather "naked" when it comes to women and
dating.
Often times, there are problems and drama when
two people break up, and sometimes you even have
jealousy and other issues to deal with.
So, one of the most important things to do when
you're "getting back into the swing of things" is
to remember that things will improve with time.
It might take you a few weeks or months after
you start dating again to feel like "you're back".
You might even feel a little needy and lonely,
which I also think is natural after breaking up
with someone to whom you were very close.
A critical mistake to avoid is TURNING INTO A
NEEDY WUSS AND TRYING TO WIN YOUR EX BACK... OR
TURNING INTO A NEEDY WUSS AND TRYING TO WIN ANY
WOMAN.
Now, it doesn't sound to me like this is your
problem but, I think that something like this
might be part of one of your problems.
Huh?
Whatever... I'll just keep talking and you'll
figure out what I'm saying.
You probably had been in your relationship for
at least a few YEARS. When you're in a
relationship for this long, I think that guys
naturally start behaving differently than they
would if they were just dating a woman.
It's natural and expected that you're going to
see your spouse every day, sleep with her every
night (I said sleep with, not have sex with... I
know, I know)... and generally be "around" all the
time.
Well, when you start DATING a woman, one of the
KEY factors that she looks at to decide whether or
not you're going to be "relationship" material is
HOW MUCH TIME YOU SPEND TOGETHER.
I'm going to bet that these women you're
meeting who want to be "exclusive" with you, are
responding that way because you're spending A LOT
of time with them.
If you're only interested in dating and not in
forming a relationship, then try this:
ONLY SEE HER ONCE A WEEK... TWICE AT THE MOST.
And only call her once or twice a week as well.
This should solve your "I want to be exclusive"
problem.
Women tend to get into "relationship mode" when
you start ACTING like you're already in one.
And a big part of that is how often you see
her.
If you only see her once a week or so, a woman
will sense, on a deep level, that you're not ready
to "settle down" with her, and that you're busy
doing other things and PROBABLY dating other
women.
Next, you mentioned that you were dating a
woman and she wanted to know about every other
woman you were seeing, and that "the openness
would be good for the relationship".
AHHH, THE "R" WORD AGAIN!
I wasn't there when she said it, so I can't be
sure, but my guess is that what she meant was "The
openness would be good for ME because I want to
know", and NOT that it would be good for the
"relationship".
This is subtle, but see if you can follow me.
You said that you disagreed (with a question
mark, which to me means that you'd like to know
whether or not I agree with you disagreeing).
I'd like to know HOW you disagreed, personally.
A lot of guys come across as weak when they
disagree because they just sound either
argumentative or insecure - or even worse, like
they're trying to hide something.
If a woman said to me, "Tell me about all the
other women you're seeing. I think it would be
good for the relationship" I'd probably say:
"Whose relationship are you talking about?"
...and then I'd laugh.
Or I might say, "I don't kiss and tell" then
smile at her.
In any case, I would NOT communicate in a way
that says "I'm uncomfortable" or "I'm going to
give you what you want so you like me".
You have to remember that a woman is going to
test your limits at ALL TIMES. And it never ends.
If you kiss up to a woman and give her what
she's asking in the moment, she probably won't
respect you in the LONG TERM because she knows
that she can get whatever she wants from you.
So, if you answer a question like this by
either:
1) Telling her what she wants to know, even though
you don't WANT to tell her...
...or...
2) Telling her that you disagree in a way that
makes her think that you're trying to hide
something...
...then she's going to feel like she "has
something on you" and that she can get her way
with you in the future.
Or she might just up and leave because she
feels like you're seeing other women AND trying to
hide it.
I know, isn't it all so complex?
My personal perspective on this topic is that a
man and woman should typically wait at LEAST a few
months before getting into any kind of
"relationship".
And if I'm dating a woman and she asks me if
I'd like to get into a relationship, and if I'm
seeing other women, I'll answer something like
this:
"First of all, I don't think it's a good idea
for a man and woman to have a RELATIONSHIP
relationship until after they've known each other
for AT LEAST 3-6 months. One of the reasons why a
lot of relationships end so BADLY is because the
two people didn't take the time to get to know
each other first. Also, I think it's a bad idea to
talk about other people that you're seeing during
that time because almost nothing good can come of
it" - and I leave it at that.
As you can probably tell, I really believe
this.
Again, it's crucial that you don't answer a
question like this in a way that is defensive or
argumentative.
If you do, you'll risk being rejected for being
sneaky or dishonest.
To sum up, it sounds to me like you're probably
used to being in a close relationship, and you're
ACTING like you're in a relationship with these
women that you're just dating. When you do this, a
woman will start to feel those "relationship"
emotions and start asking questions and behaving
like she's your girlfriend.
If you lean back a little, if you don't see a
woman more than once or twice a week, and if you
stop behaving in a way that says "we're in a
relationship now", then the women will get it.
They'll pick up on your body language and
communication and stop acting like girlfriends or
wives.
...and if you've just come out of a
relationship and you need to "get your game back",
then I HIGHLY recommend that you check out my
online eBook and my Advanced Dating Techniques
series.
There's no better or faster way to get your act
together and start getting dates with the kinds of
women you'd like to date.
Often, the end of a relationship is a "second
chance" to date women who are more compatible with
you or who are more physically attractive.
I've found that men who have been in
relationships for several years, often find
AMAZING insights when they review my materials
because they can RELATE to everything so well.
It's a lot easier to see where you've made
mistakes in the past, and it's a lot easier to see
what you need to do with other women in order to
be successful.
My very best product is my Advanced Dating
CD/DVD Program. It's jam packed with over 12 full
hours of me teaching live, including a companion
workbook. You will learn literally HUNDREDS of
great ideas for meeting, dating and getting
physical with women.
You can go and watch my great new set of video
preview clips and get all the details here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
And if you haven't read my eBook "Double Your
Dating", then you need to do that NOW. It's my
original manual for success with women and dating,
and it's the place to get started if you want to
take your success with women to the next level.
You can download it at:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
I'll talk to you again soon!
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. Don't forget to take a minute and look at all
of the other programs I've created to help you
learn every aspect of meeting women - from
overcoming fear to approaching women - and
everything else. You can see them all right here,
plus watch fantastic free video clips as well:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/
--------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2010 David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. David
DeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks. By
reading and accepting this newsletter you agree to
all of the following: You understand that this is
simply a set of opinions (and not advice). This is
to be used for entertainment, and not considered
as "professional advice". You are responsible for
any use of the information in this email, and hold
David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. and all members and
affiliates harmless in any claim or event. If you
are under 18 years old, please click the
link at the end, and remove yourself, or to take
yourself off of our list, you can send mail to
"DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th Floor Las
Vegas, NV 89109.
__________________________________________________
To ensure that you get my Dating Tips Newsletters each week,
add me to your address book. Instructions are here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/support/whitelist/
__________________________________________________
If you are under 18 years old, please follow the
link below to unsubscribe yourself, or you can send
mail to "DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th Floor,
Las Vegas, NV 89109.
To safely REMOVE your name and email address from
our newsletter mailing list go to:
Unsubscribe Here
______________________________________________________________
Questions? Comments? Click Here for customer support.
You'll find answers, be able to chat with a live
support person or be able to send us an email directly
with any of your questions.
View our permission marketing policy:
http://cdn.rsys1.net/ig.rsys1.net/responsysimages/ddm/__RS_CP__/permission_policy.htm
NOTE: I have created a special program to
transform you into the type of guy that the
world's most attractive women all secretly
and not-so-secretly DREAM of getting and
KEEPING. If you're ready to join this elite
club of men and start experiencing the type
of success with women that most guys will
only see in movies and on TV, go here now:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/ManTransformation/
***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***
I am at the end of long long divorce settlement -
(18 months) I started dating about six months
after our split -- meeting most on the internet-
Found I was naturally using some cocky and funny
but accelerated when I started getting your
newsletter.
Meeting them and lining them up has been no
problem-but once we are intimate --they want
exclusivity--I can't know what I want yet (except
sex)--but don't want some of the good ones to get
away--I keep hearing "you want your cake and eat
it too!!"
Also---had one I was dating recently--wanted to
know about anybody and everyone else I was seeing
---said the openness was good for a relationship.
I disagreed??
rb--michigan
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I'm glad you wrote in because I think that this
is a topic that is near and dear to a lot of
single men.
And, even though I have not been married
myself, I know what it's like to be in a
relationship for a couple of years and then all of
a sudden be single again... and I know what it's
like to start over again.
You have brought up some great points here, so
let's see if I can add some insight.
First, I think that it's pretty natural for a
guy who has just ended a long term relationship to
feel rather "naked" when it comes to women and
dating.
Often times, there are problems and drama when
two people break up, and sometimes you even have
jealousy and other issues to deal with.
So, one of the most important things to do when
you're "getting back into the swing of things" is
to remember that things will improve with time.
It might take you a few weeks or months after
you start dating again to feel like "you're back".
You might even feel a little needy and lonely,
which I also think is natural after breaking up
with someone to whom you were very close.
A critical mistake to avoid is TURNING INTO A
NEEDY WUSS AND TRYING TO WIN YOUR EX BACK... OR
TURNING INTO A NEEDY WUSS AND TRYING TO WIN ANY
WOMAN.
Now, it doesn't sound to me like this is your
problem but, I think that something like this
might be part of one of your problems.
Huh?
Whatever... I'll just keep talking and you'll
figure out what I'm saying.
You probably had been in your relationship for
at least a few YEARS. When you're in a
relationship for this long, I think that guys
naturally start behaving differently than they
would if they were just dating a woman.
It's natural and expected that you're going to
see your spouse every day, sleep with her every
night (I said sleep with, not have sex with... I
know, I know)... and generally be "around" all the
time.
Well, when you start DATING a woman, one of the
KEY factors that she looks at to decide whether or
not you're going to be "relationship" material is
HOW MUCH TIME YOU SPEND TOGETHER.
I'm going to bet that these women you're
meeting who want to be "exclusive" with you, are
responding that way because you're spending A LOT
of time with them.
If you're only interested in dating and not in
forming a relationship, then try this:
ONLY SEE HER ONCE A WEEK... TWICE AT THE MOST.
And only call her once or twice a week as well.
This should solve your "I want to be exclusive"
problem.
Women tend to get into "relationship mode" when
you start ACTING like you're already in one.
And a big part of that is how often you see
her.
If you only see her once a week or so, a woman
will sense, on a deep level, that you're not ready
to "settle down" with her, and that you're busy
doing other things and PROBABLY dating other
women.
Next, you mentioned that you were dating a
woman and she wanted to know about every other
woman you were seeing, and that "the openness
would be good for the relationship".
AHHH, THE "R" WORD AGAIN!
I wasn't there when she said it, so I can't be
sure, but my guess is that what she meant was "The
openness would be good for ME because I want to
know", and NOT that it would be good for the
"relationship".
This is subtle, but see if you can follow me.
You said that you disagreed (with a question
mark, which to me means that you'd like to know
whether or not I agree with you disagreeing).
I'd like to know HOW you disagreed, personally.
A lot of guys come across as weak when they
disagree because they just sound either
argumentative or insecure - or even worse, like
they're trying to hide something.
If a woman said to me, "Tell me about all the
other women you're seeing. I think it would be
good for the relationship" I'd probably say:
"Whose relationship are you talking about?"
...and then I'd laugh.
Or I might say, "I don't kiss and tell" then
smile at her.
In any case, I would NOT communicate in a way
that says "I'm uncomfortable" or "I'm going to
give you what you want so you like me".
You have to remember that a woman is going to
test your limits at ALL TIMES. And it never ends.
If you kiss up to a woman and give her what
she's asking in the moment, she probably won't
respect you in the LONG TERM because she knows
that she can get whatever she wants from you.
So, if you answer a question like this by
either:
1) Telling her what she wants to know, even though
you don't WANT to tell her...
...or...
2) Telling her that you disagree in a way that
makes her think that you're trying to hide
something...
...then she's going to feel like she "has
something on you" and that she can get her way
with you in the future.
Or she might just up and leave because she
feels like you're seeing other women AND trying to
hide it.
I know, isn't it all so complex?
My personal perspective on this topic is that a
man and woman should typically wait at LEAST a few
months before getting into any kind of
"relationship".
And if I'm dating a woman and she asks me if
I'd like to get into a relationship, and if I'm
seeing other women, I'll answer something like
this:
"First of all, I don't think it's a good idea
for a man and woman to have a RELATIONSHIP
relationship until after they've known each other
for AT LEAST 3-6 months. One of the reasons why a
lot of relationships end so BADLY is because the
two people didn't take the time to get to know
each other first. Also, I think it's a bad idea to
talk about other people that you're seeing during
that time because almost nothing good can come of
it" - and I leave it at that.
As you can probably tell, I really believe
this.
Again, it's crucial that you don't answer a
question like this in a way that is defensive or
argumentative.
If you do, you'll risk being rejected for being
sneaky or dishonest.
To sum up, it sounds to me like you're probably
used to being in a close relationship, and you're
ACTING like you're in a relationship with these
women that you're just dating. When you do this, a
woman will start to feel those "relationship"
emotions and start asking questions and behaving
like she's your girlfriend.
If you lean back a little, if you don't see a
woman more than once or twice a week, and if you
stop behaving in a way that says "we're in a
relationship now", then the women will get it.
They'll pick up on your body language and
communication and stop acting like girlfriends or
wives.
...and if you've just come out of a
relationship and you need to "get your game back",
then I HIGHLY recommend that you check out my
online eBook and my Advanced Dating Techniques
series.
There's no better or faster way to get your act
together and start getting dates with the kinds of
women you'd like to date.
Often, the end of a relationship is a "second
chance" to date women who are more compatible with
you or who are more physically attractive.
I've found that men who have been in
relationships for several years, often find
AMAZING insights when they review my materials
because they can RELATE to everything so well.
It's a lot easier to see where you've made
mistakes in the past, and it's a lot easier to see
what you need to do with other women in order to
be successful.
My very best product is my Advanced Dating
CD/DVD Program. It's jam packed with over 12 full
hours of me teaching live, including a companion
workbook. You will learn literally HUNDREDS of
great ideas for meeting, dating and getting
physical with women.
You can go and watch my great new set of video
preview clips and get all the details here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
And if you haven't read my eBook "Double Your
Dating", then you need to do that NOW. It's my
original manual for success with women and dating,
and it's the place to get started if you want to
take your success with women to the next level.
You can download it at:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
I'll talk to you again soon!
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. Don't forget to take a minute and look at all
of the other programs I've created to help you
learn every aspect of meeting women - from
overcoming fear to approaching women - and
everything else. You can see them all right here,
plus watch fantastic free video clips as well:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/
--------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2010 David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. David
DeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks. By
reading and accepting this newsletter you agree to
all of the following: You understand that this is
simply a set of opinions (and not advice). This is
to be used for entertainment, and not considered
as "professional advice". You are responsible for
any use of the information in this email, and hold
David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. and all members and
affiliates harmless in any claim or event. If you
are under 18 years old, please click the
link at the end, and remove yourself, or to take
yourself off of our list, you can send mail to
"DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th Floor Las
Vegas, NV 89109.
__________________________________________________
To ensure that you get my Dating Tips Newsletters each week,
add me to your address book. Instructions are here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/support/whitelist/
__________________________________________________
If you are under 18 years old, please follow the
link below to unsubscribe yourself, or you can send
mail to "DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th Floor,
Las Vegas, NV 89109.
To safely REMOVE your name and email address from
our newsletter mailing list go to:
Unsubscribe Here
______________________________________________________________
Questions? Comments? Click Here for customer support.
You'll find answers, be able to chat with a live
support person or be able to send us an email directly
with any of your questions.
View our permission marketing policy:
http://cdn.rsys1.net/ig.rsys1.net/responsysimages/ddm/__RS_CP__/permission_policy.htm
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