Competition From Other Men - How To Handle It
***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***
I am recently divorced and found myself having a
hard time making connections with women after
being in a 9-year relationship. Before I met my
ex-wife I considered myself as a "player" and had
little trouble finding girls to go out with. After
being out of the scene for so long, I had lots of
trouble trying to get back in to the swing of
things. Your ebook and emails have instantly put
me back in the game and I am now getting dates
with very attractive women! Its been amazing!!
Thank You!
Now for the question. All these attractive women
have brought something into my dates that I am not
used to, Men (Cock Blockers)! Currently, I am
dating this "bomb-shell" occasionally and when we
go out on a date, men will hit on her as soon as
they get a chance. If I turn my back for second,
some guy will try to make eye contact or say
something to her. I don't blame the guys because
she is very hot, but how do I deal with this in a
way that shows I am 100% confident? Typically, I
just laugh and continue to have a good time by
ignoring the lame ass attempts to pick up on my
date, but there has to be a way that I can turn
this around to make me look more confident in her
eyes.
You da man,
B from Colorado
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well then... welcome back!
I've noticed that the period after breaking up
with a long-term girlfriend or spouse is often a
difficult one.
I think it's easy for men (and women) to become
so comfortable and emotionally dependent in a
relationship that they experience a lot of FEAR
when ending that relationship...
"What's going to happen?"
"Will I ever meet another woman?"
"How do I get started?"
...etc.
I can remember breaking up with long-term
girlfriends in years past, and feeling an empty,
fearful, LONELY combination of emotions in my gut
that was HORRIBLE.
That ALONE feeling is enough to cause a lot of
problems.
Add to that, not knowing where to start, what
to do, or how to "get your game back" if you had
it in the past, and you usually get a bad
situation.
I've learned that knowing how to go out anytime
and meet women has a couple of MAJOR benefits when
it comes to this area:
1) When you know that you can meet women anytime
you want, it makes you stop acting so NEEDY and
CLINGY in a relationship. Most needy and clingy
Wuss behaviors are rooted in the FEAR that you'll
never be able to find another woman.
2) When it comes to ENDING a relationship, this
skill makes things MUCH easier. Too many guys stay
in relationships that are bad for them, and are
afraid to END a relationship because of that
deeply-rooted insecurity that comes from not
knowing how to walk out the door anytime, anywhere
and meet women. When you know how to do this, you
won't try to hold on like a girly-man, sacrifice
your own respect and dignity, pleading and
begging, and ultimately make the situation much
worse than it would have been if you would have
just walked away.
In short, what I'm trying to say is that I
think understanding this area called "How to
attract women" is KEY to having a good
relationship.
When you have that inner confidence and
KNOWING, it makes you more attractive... period.
Now let's talk about what to do when there is
competition from other guys...
First I want to talk about what I believe is at
the ROOT of the problem:
1) INSECURITY.
2) JEALOUSY.
When you are insecure, you're always wondering
if some other guy is going to come along and steal
your girl.
This often shows up as a combination of
feelings that make you worry about losing your
girl, and at the same time worrying about not
being able to find another one if you DO lose this
one.
This is a BAD, BAD thing because it then CLOUDS
YOUR THINKING, and creates an illusion that the
woman you're with is BETTER than she is, and that
you're WORSE than you are.
We're talking about some deep issues here, but
this is the stuff that triggers the ULTIMATE WUSS
types of behaviors.
Then, as if things weren't bad enough, you go
out with your girl, and other guys start hitting
on her right in front of you.
This triggers MORE insecurity, and then the
REAL problem... JEALOUSY.
Jealousy is an incredibly powerful emotion.
It often leads people to KILL people they love.
One scientist wrote an entire book about
Jealousy, and basically claimed that it was the
most powerful and important emotion ever! (The
book is called "The Dangerous Passion"...
referring to jealousy)
When you're out with your girl, you turn around
to order a drink, and when you turn BACK around
there's some guy talking to her with that "I'd
love to take you home and do things that the lord
forbids", it can trigger a few emotions...
This is very natural. Animals have this same
response in similar situations. I personally
believe that we come pre-wired with BOTH of these
things:
- We come pre-wired to want women that other men
already have (Don't covet thy neighbor's wife).
- We come pre-wired to feel jealousy if we suspect
that our spouse is cheating or if we think that
someone is going to take them from us.
Again, normal and natural stuff.
If Yoda were here, he'd probably say:
"Jealousy is useless...
...Jealousy leads to anger, anger leads to
INSECURE WUSSY BEHAVIOR... and insecure Wussy
behavior leads to the DARK SIDE."
Now, jealousy doesn't always lead to insecure
WUSSY behavior, sometimes it leads to insecure
DUMB ASS behavior, like getting into a fight, or
shooting someone.
Some men enjoy fights and violence.
And some women have no problem dating a man who
likes to beat other men up (or beat her up).
I personally think that violence and hurting
other people is the IGNORANT way to deal with
things.
But, I also know that there are a lot of guys
out there that don't share my views.
The POINT I'm trying to make is that insecurity
and jealousy make people do all kinds of stupid
and thoughtless things.
These emotions take over your mind and body,
and can trigger some of the most short-sighted
behaviors you'll ever experience.
These are complex emotions that have evolved
over millions and millions of years... and they're
not going away anytime soon. In many cases, they
literally take control of your mind and body.
For instance...
Let's say you've just broken up with your
girlfriend or wife, and it took you a long time to
finally get a date with an attractive woman. Maybe
you were feeling insecure and didn't know if you
could meet another woman, and let's say that the
breakup was hard on you as well.
Let's say you're out at a bar with your new
date and you excuse yourself to use the boy's
room... and when you get back, there are TWO big,
handsome guys talking to your date, and she's
laughing hysterically at what they're saying.
What would most guys do in this situation?
THEY'D FREAK. That's what.
All kinds of fear, jealousy, insecurity, etc.
would INSTANTLY take over, and there would be
thoughts of her wanting to be with these guys,
them taking her away, etc.
And what do most guys actually DO in one of
these situations?
They walk over, act nervous, and try to take
the girl away from the situation. And they make
the mistake of making it OBVIOUS that they're all
freaked out, intimidated, jealous, and insecure.
This, of course, only makes the other guys feel
more powerful, and makes the woman realize that
she's with an insecure WUSS.
It becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, in most
cases.
As a side note: I have met and know of guys who
actually ENJOY picking up women who are out with
other guys. It's a game to them.
And they've found that it's EASY, because most
men are insecure, and most women don't want to be
with a WUSS...
So what's the answer here?
What's the best thing to do when a guy is
making his move on your girl?
Well... let's start from a little BEFORE that.
And before I give you my take, I want to
recommend that you ALSO get your hands on a copy
of my "On Being A Man... Who Naturally Attracts
Women" CD/DVD program. This program will help you
develop a DEEP and important part of yourself...
that will help fix some of the issues we're
talking about here.
You can get all the details about it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/OnBeingAMan/
Onward...
The best thing you can do in one of these
situations is what you do BEFORE it ever
happens... and it's a combination of things:
1) Realize that there's nothing to be insecure and
jealous about, and that these things only lead to
fear and loss.
2) Get your game in shape with women. Get yourself
to the point where you can meet women in ANY
situation. This way you always know DEEP DOWN that
if any woman you're with ever decides to leave,
you can turn around and start meeting women. This
eliminates insecurity.
3) Mentally prepare. Take some time to imagine
that you're in one of these situations, and notice
the feelings you have. Go over it in your mind
until you can think about it without having any
negative emotions triggered.
And here's what to do when you're actually IN
the situation...
1) EXPECT IT. If you start dating hot women, other
men will hit on them, GUARANTEED. It's part of
life, man. You must expect that it's going to
happen and not be surprised when it does.
2) Learn how to have FUN with it. Most guys have
no game at all... and it's kind of funny to watch
and listen to them. I enjoy watching guys try to
meet women, because they FAIL miserably in most
cases. I like to wait until a guy is finished
trying to pick up on the girl I'm with, and then
get her to share the details so I can laugh.
3) Suggest that she date the guy. One of my
favorite things to do is say, "Hey, you guys would
make a cute couple... I think you should go for
him." Of course, this is all said in a light, fun
way.
4) If you suspect that the girl you're with is
actually TRYING to make you jealous, talk to other
women. If you actually think that a woman is
deliberately trying to make you jealous, you must
do some thinking as well. Some women enjoy making
men compete over them and you probably don't want
to be with one of these women. They're a pain. But
if you think it's just a typical situation and the
girl is trying to figure out if you "really" like
her (because you'll get jealous if you do), then
just turn around and start a conversation with a
group of girls... and wait for her to come and
find you.
The point I'm making is that you MUST get over
that fear/insecurity/jealousy issue, and realize
that there is nothing to be afraid of.
The only power that other guys will have with
your date is the power that you GIVE them... so
don't give them any power by acting like a WUSS.
Keep your power for yourself. The main reason that
other guys try to hit on your girl is because they
don't have one themselves. Remember that.
...and if you're reading this right now and
thinking to yourself, "You know, I need to learn
this stuff about how to meet and attract women so
I can get rid of that insecure and fearful feeling
I have" then YOU'RE RIGHT!
I think that every man should invest in himself
and learn this skill.
Unfortunately, most guys never take the time
and invest in themselves... and they wind up going
their whole lives WISHING that they could attract
the kinds of women that they want.
Well, I used to be one of the guys who didn't
know what he was doing with women. Now I'm one of
the guys who can go out anytime, in any situation
and attract women.
What's the difference?
I TOOK THE TIME TO LEARN.
And if you'd like to learn then I recommend you
learn the things that I learned FIRST.
It's taken me a long time to figure all this
stuff out, and it's also taken a lot of time,
effort, and energy on my part to put it all down
on paper and on audio and video... so that any guy
can learn from the things I've discovered.
I'd like to personally invite you to check out
my materials. In a matter of hours you can learn
things that it took me YEARS to figure out... all
from the comfort and privacy of your own home.
My Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD Program
has over 12 full hours of me teaching live... all
recorded and edited in high-quality digital video
and audio. It contains literally HUNDREDS of great
ideas for meeting and dating women... and it's
probably the single best investment you can make
in your dating life.
My eBook "Double Your Dating" is the FOUNDATION
for everything I teach in these newsletters, and
for everything I teach in my Advanced Series. It's
a "must read" and you can download it online and
be reading it in about 5 minutes...
The Advanced CD/DVD Series is here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
The eBook is available for immediate download
here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. Make sure you take a minute and look through
all the different programs I've created to help
you learn how to meet and attract women. You can
see every program I've created right here, plus
watch video clips of each of them...
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/
--------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2010 David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. David
DeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks. By
reading and accepting this newsletter you agree to
all of the following: You understand that this is
simply a set of opinions (and not advice). This is
to be used for entertainment, and not considered
as "professional advice". You are responsible for
any use of the information in this email, and hold
David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. and all members and
affiliates harmless in any claim or event. If you
are under 18 years old, please click the
link at the end, and remove yourself, or to take
yourself off of our list, you can send mail to
"DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th Floor Las
Vegas, NV 89109.
__________________________________________________
To ensure that you get my Dating Tips Newsletters each week,
add me to your address book. Instructions are here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/support/whitelist/
__________________________________________________
If you are under 18 years old, please follow the
link below to unsubscribe yourself, or you can send
mail to "DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th Floor,
Las Vegas, NV 89109.
To safely REMOVE your name and email address from
our newsletter mailing list go to:
Unsubscribe Here
______________________________________________________________
Questions? Comments? Click Here for customer support.
You'll find answers, be able to chat with a live
support person or be able to send us an email directly
with any of your questions.
View our permission marketing policy:
http://cdn.rsys1.net/ig.rsys1.net/responsysimages/ddm/__RS_CP__/permission_policy.htm
***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***
I am recently divorced and found myself having a
hard time making connections with women after
being in a 9-year relationship. Before I met my
ex-wife I considered myself as a "player" and had
little trouble finding girls to go out with. After
being out of the scene for so long, I had lots of
trouble trying to get back in to the swing of
things. Your ebook and emails have instantly put
me back in the game and I am now getting dates
with very attractive women! Its been amazing!!
Thank You!
Now for the question. All these attractive women
have brought something into my dates that I am not
used to, Men (Cock Blockers)! Currently, I am
dating this "bomb-shell" occasionally and when we
go out on a date, men will hit on her as soon as
they get a chance. If I turn my back for second,
some guy will try to make eye contact or say
something to her. I don't blame the guys because
she is very hot, but how do I deal with this in a
way that shows I am 100% confident? Typically, I
just laugh and continue to have a good time by
ignoring the lame ass attempts to pick up on my
date, but there has to be a way that I can turn
this around to make me look more confident in her
eyes.
You da man,
B from Colorado
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well then... welcome back!
I've noticed that the period after breaking up
with a long-term girlfriend or spouse is often a
difficult one.
I think it's easy for men (and women) to become
so comfortable and emotionally dependent in a
relationship that they experience a lot of FEAR
when ending that relationship...
"What's going to happen?"
"Will I ever meet another woman?"
"How do I get started?"
...etc.
I can remember breaking up with long-term
girlfriends in years past, and feeling an empty,
fearful, LONELY combination of emotions in my gut
that was HORRIBLE.
That ALONE feeling is enough to cause a lot of
problems.
Add to that, not knowing where to start, what
to do, or how to "get your game back" if you had
it in the past, and you usually get a bad
situation.
I've learned that knowing how to go out anytime
and meet women has a couple of MAJOR benefits when
it comes to this area:
1) When you know that you can meet women anytime
you want, it makes you stop acting so NEEDY and
CLINGY in a relationship. Most needy and clingy
Wuss behaviors are rooted in the FEAR that you'll
never be able to find another woman.
2) When it comes to ENDING a relationship, this
skill makes things MUCH easier. Too many guys stay
in relationships that are bad for them, and are
afraid to END a relationship because of that
deeply-rooted insecurity that comes from not
knowing how to walk out the door anytime, anywhere
and meet women. When you know how to do this, you
won't try to hold on like a girly-man, sacrifice
your own respect and dignity, pleading and
begging, and ultimately make the situation much
worse than it would have been if you would have
just walked away.
In short, what I'm trying to say is that I
think understanding this area called "How to
attract women" is KEY to having a good
relationship.
When you have that inner confidence and
KNOWING, it makes you more attractive... period.
Now let's talk about what to do when there is
competition from other guys...
First I want to talk about what I believe is at
the ROOT of the problem:
1) INSECURITY.
2) JEALOUSY.
When you are insecure, you're always wondering
if some other guy is going to come along and steal
your girl.
This often shows up as a combination of
feelings that make you worry about losing your
girl, and at the same time worrying about not
being able to find another one if you DO lose this
one.
This is a BAD, BAD thing because it then CLOUDS
YOUR THINKING, and creates an illusion that the
woman you're with is BETTER than she is, and that
you're WORSE than you are.
We're talking about some deep issues here, but
this is the stuff that triggers the ULTIMATE WUSS
types of behaviors.
Then, as if things weren't bad enough, you go
out with your girl, and other guys start hitting
on her right in front of you.
This triggers MORE insecurity, and then the
REAL problem... JEALOUSY.
Jealousy is an incredibly powerful emotion.
It often leads people to KILL people they love.
One scientist wrote an entire book about
Jealousy, and basically claimed that it was the
most powerful and important emotion ever! (The
book is called "The Dangerous Passion"...
referring to jealousy)
When you're out with your girl, you turn around
to order a drink, and when you turn BACK around
there's some guy talking to her with that "I'd
love to take you home and do things that the lord
forbids", it can trigger a few emotions...
This is very natural. Animals have this same
response in similar situations. I personally
believe that we come pre-wired with BOTH of these
things:
- We come pre-wired to want women that other men
already have (Don't covet thy neighbor's wife).
- We come pre-wired to feel jealousy if we suspect
that our spouse is cheating or if we think that
someone is going to take them from us.
Again, normal and natural stuff.
If Yoda were here, he'd probably say:
"Jealousy is useless...
...Jealousy leads to anger, anger leads to
INSECURE WUSSY BEHAVIOR... and insecure Wussy
behavior leads to the DARK SIDE."
Now, jealousy doesn't always lead to insecure
WUSSY behavior, sometimes it leads to insecure
DUMB ASS behavior, like getting into a fight, or
shooting someone.
Some men enjoy fights and violence.
And some women have no problem dating a man who
likes to beat other men up (or beat her up).
I personally think that violence and hurting
other people is the IGNORANT way to deal with
things.
But, I also know that there are a lot of guys
out there that don't share my views.
The POINT I'm trying to make is that insecurity
and jealousy make people do all kinds of stupid
and thoughtless things.
These emotions take over your mind and body,
and can trigger some of the most short-sighted
behaviors you'll ever experience.
These are complex emotions that have evolved
over millions and millions of years... and they're
not going away anytime soon. In many cases, they
literally take control of your mind and body.
For instance...
Let's say you've just broken up with your
girlfriend or wife, and it took you a long time to
finally get a date with an attractive woman. Maybe
you were feeling insecure and didn't know if you
could meet another woman, and let's say that the
breakup was hard on you as well.
Let's say you're out at a bar with your new
date and you excuse yourself to use the boy's
room... and when you get back, there are TWO big,
handsome guys talking to your date, and she's
laughing hysterically at what they're saying.
What would most guys do in this situation?
THEY'D FREAK. That's what.
All kinds of fear, jealousy, insecurity, etc.
would INSTANTLY take over, and there would be
thoughts of her wanting to be with these guys,
them taking her away, etc.
And what do most guys actually DO in one of
these situations?
They walk over, act nervous, and try to take
the girl away from the situation. And they make
the mistake of making it OBVIOUS that they're all
freaked out, intimidated, jealous, and insecure.
This, of course, only makes the other guys feel
more powerful, and makes the woman realize that
she's with an insecure WUSS.
It becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, in most
cases.
As a side note: I have met and know of guys who
actually ENJOY picking up women who are out with
other guys. It's a game to them.
And they've found that it's EASY, because most
men are insecure, and most women don't want to be
with a WUSS...
So what's the answer here?
What's the best thing to do when a guy is
making his move on your girl?
Well... let's start from a little BEFORE that.
And before I give you my take, I want to
recommend that you ALSO get your hands on a copy
of my "On Being A Man... Who Naturally Attracts
Women" CD/DVD program. This program will help you
develop a DEEP and important part of yourself...
that will help fix some of the issues we're
talking about here.
You can get all the details about it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/OnBeingAMan/
Onward...
The best thing you can do in one of these
situations is what you do BEFORE it ever
happens... and it's a combination of things:
1) Realize that there's nothing to be insecure and
jealous about, and that these things only lead to
fear and loss.
2) Get your game in shape with women. Get yourself
to the point where you can meet women in ANY
situation. This way you always know DEEP DOWN that
if any woman you're with ever decides to leave,
you can turn around and start meeting women. This
eliminates insecurity.
3) Mentally prepare. Take some time to imagine
that you're in one of these situations, and notice
the feelings you have. Go over it in your mind
until you can think about it without having any
negative emotions triggered.
And here's what to do when you're actually IN
the situation...
1) EXPECT IT. If you start dating hot women, other
men will hit on them, GUARANTEED. It's part of
life, man. You must expect that it's going to
happen and not be surprised when it does.
2) Learn how to have FUN with it. Most guys have
no game at all... and it's kind of funny to watch
and listen to them. I enjoy watching guys try to
meet women, because they FAIL miserably in most
cases. I like to wait until a guy is finished
trying to pick up on the girl I'm with, and then
get her to share the details so I can laugh.
3) Suggest that she date the guy. One of my
favorite things to do is say, "Hey, you guys would
make a cute couple... I think you should go for
him." Of course, this is all said in a light, fun
way.
4) If you suspect that the girl you're with is
actually TRYING to make you jealous, talk to other
women. If you actually think that a woman is
deliberately trying to make you jealous, you must
do some thinking as well. Some women enjoy making
men compete over them and you probably don't want
to be with one of these women. They're a pain. But
if you think it's just a typical situation and the
girl is trying to figure out if you "really" like
her (because you'll get jealous if you do), then
just turn around and start a conversation with a
group of girls... and wait for her to come and
find you.
The point I'm making is that you MUST get over
that fear/insecurity/jealousy issue, and realize
that there is nothing to be afraid of.
The only power that other guys will have with
your date is the power that you GIVE them... so
don't give them any power by acting like a WUSS.
Keep your power for yourself. The main reason that
other guys try to hit on your girl is because they
don't have one themselves. Remember that.
...and if you're reading this right now and
thinking to yourself, "You know, I need to learn
this stuff about how to meet and attract women so
I can get rid of that insecure and fearful feeling
I have" then YOU'RE RIGHT!
I think that every man should invest in himself
and learn this skill.
Unfortunately, most guys never take the time
and invest in themselves... and they wind up going
their whole lives WISHING that they could attract
the kinds of women that they want.
Well, I used to be one of the guys who didn't
know what he was doing with women. Now I'm one of
the guys who can go out anytime, in any situation
and attract women.
What's the difference?
I TOOK THE TIME TO LEARN.
And if you'd like to learn then I recommend you
learn the things that I learned FIRST.
It's taken me a long time to figure all this
stuff out, and it's also taken a lot of time,
effort, and energy on my part to put it all down
on paper and on audio and video... so that any guy
can learn from the things I've discovered.
I'd like to personally invite you to check out
my materials. In a matter of hours you can learn
things that it took me YEARS to figure out... all
from the comfort and privacy of your own home.
My Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD Program
has over 12 full hours of me teaching live... all
recorded and edited in high-quality digital video
and audio. It contains literally HUNDREDS of great
ideas for meeting and dating women... and it's
probably the single best investment you can make
in your dating life.
My eBook "Double Your Dating" is the FOUNDATION
for everything I teach in these newsletters, and
for everything I teach in my Advanced Series. It's
a "must read" and you can download it online and
be reading it in about 5 minutes...
The Advanced CD/DVD Series is here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
The eBook is available for immediate download
here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. Make sure you take a minute and look through
all the different programs I've created to help
you learn how to meet and attract women. You can
see every program I've created right here, plus
watch video clips of each of them...
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/
--------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2010 David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. David
DeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks. By
reading and accepting this newsletter you agree to
all of the following: You understand that this is
simply a set of opinions (and not advice). This is
to be used for entertainment, and not considered
as "professional advice". You are responsible for
any use of the information in this email, and hold
David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. and all members and
affiliates harmless in any claim or event. If you
are under 18 years old, please click the
link at the end, and remove yourself, or to take
yourself off of our list, you can send mail to
"DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th Floor Las
Vegas, NV 89109.
__________________________________________________
To ensure that you get my Dating Tips Newsletters each week,
add me to your address book. Instructions are here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/support/whitelist/
__________________________________________________
If you are under 18 years old, please follow the
link below to unsubscribe yourself, or you can send
mail to "DDMI" 3960 Howard Hughes Pkwy, 5th Floor,
Las Vegas, NV 89109.
To safely REMOVE your name and email address from
our newsletter mailing list go to:
Unsubscribe Here
______________________________________________________________
Questions? Comments? Click Here for customer support.
You'll find answers, be able to chat with a live
support person or be able to send us an email directly
with any of your questions.
View our permission marketing policy:
http://cdn.rsys1.net/ig.rsys1.net/responsysimages/ddm/__RS_CP__/permission_policy.htm
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