How To Approach Women & Start Conversations

How To Approach Women & Start Conversations

IMPORTANT: Have you ever see a woman you
wanted to meet, but you just didn't know how to
start a conversation with her? This used to happen
to me all the time, until I finally "figured it out." Go
here and I'll reveal to you my secrets for approaching
women (and check out the VIDEO clips too):

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/ApproachingWomen

On with the Mailbag...

***QUESTION***

Dear Dave,

You are an awesome teacher. Since using your
material (the e-book and the CDs) I have increase
my dating life by many-folds. It has become a lot
easier to be Cocky and funny; it feels like second
nature at this time and a part of my personality.

I have two questions: One, where can I find old
newsletters? I save all your newsletters but I
accidentally erased about ten of them from my e-
mail account. I really would like to re-read some
of them but I cannot find them anywhere on the
web.

The second question is: What do you do in a
situation where you have set up a coffee date with
a woman and she blows you off by not showing up?
The problem specifically is how do you react when
you see this woman again. I work out in a local
gym and had asked one of the personal trainers to
coffee. However, I was stood up and I see her
everyday. Would you respond by ignoring her (
which seems childish and behaving in the immature
manner she treated me by not respecting me and my
time) or by talking to her ( and thereby acting
like a spineless wimp) ? Any input would be
greatly appreciated.

Disciple in D.C.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   I want to answer your question FIRST with
another question:

   WHOSE PROBLEM IS IT THAT SHE BLEW YOU OFF AND
FLAKED?

   Hmm.

   It all depends on your perspective.

   When a woman flakes out on me, I see it as a
HUGE mistake that SHE made.

   So, if/when I see her again, I shake my head in
disappointment and say, "Well, you sure missed out
on a good time."

   And then, regardless of what she says (unless
her mom died or she lost a leg in a car accident),
I just give her the "You're a flaky woman with no
integrity" disappointed look and walk away.

   Again I ask you: WHOSE PROBLEM IS IT?

   Do you really want to go out with a woman who
is flaky?

   Don't let it bother you. Just move on. Many
women are flakes.

   And to answer your second question about where
to find my past newsletters:

   Nowhere. You must stay tuned!

***QUESTION***

Dave i just have to say that your CD Audio Series
kicks some major ASS!! there IS a god, and in this
case it's you man! i haven't EVER gotten so much
out of any help program such as this one. i
absolutely love it and anyone who purchases it
will NEVER want their money back! however, i have
a question concerning gift ideas for those
involved in relationships. i am desperate for gift
ideas for my girlfriend that I've been dating for
7 months now. of course, there are also other
times that couples should exchange gifts:
birthdays, valentine's day, and the BIG ONE... the
one year anniversary! i desperately need help with
these as well. what have u gotten your long- term
girlfriends for Christmas? their birthday? on
valentine's day? the one year anniversary? I'm the
type of guy who just HATES to spend a ton of money
but i want to make everything perfect for this
girl because we love each other so any ideas on
gifts would be greatly appreciated. thanks a
million and keep up the good work!

-R.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   OK, as I have to mention EVERY time I answer a
"relationship" type question, I DON'T USUALLY DO
THIS.

   But, you can be my monthly exception...

   The reason I like your question is because it
calls up another BIGGER ISSUE... and that issue is
when and if it becomes appropriate to start doing
all the things that I try to get guys NOT to do in
the beginning with women (take them out, buy them
gifts, give them flowers, etc.).

   As it turns out, most men that I know (and most
men that I meet and talk to who order my eBook and
other products) really WANT TO BE GENEROUS.

   In other words, I think that deep down, most of
us really want to treat women VERY WELL.

   We WANT to do nice, thoughtful things for a
special woman, and have her do nice, thoughtful
things in return.

   Amen?

   The problem comes when we go overboard and
start using gifts and favors TOO MUCH, and start
communicating to the woman that WE ARE OWNED BY
HER.

   If you're going to do wonderful things for a
woman that you care about, make sure that you do
things that MAKE AN IMPACT. And make sure that
they AREN'T PREDICTABLE.

   If you want to give her a nice gift that
doesn't cost a lot of money then cook her a meal,
then give her a massage, and finally wrap up with
feeding her fruit in bed... etc.

   Women want things that communicate
THOUGHTFULNESS. Not that they don't enjoy
diamonds... lol. But if you do something that
says, "I was thinking about you, and I wanted you
to have a great experience", it will make FAR more
of an impact than an expensive gift that wasn't
chosen with care.

   But, as I mentioned, don't OVERDO the gifts and
favors... don't ever become PREDICTABLE.

   And, interestingly enough, this can be a great
test to see how a woman can handle extra-nice
treatment. If she starts acting overly demanding
and spoiled after you give her a gift of
thoughtful experience, then you might have a
damaged woman on your hands. Pay attention.

   OK, that's it for my non- relationship
relationship ideas.

***QUESTION***

Before you hand me my award for wussiness, know
I wasn't always this way. In fact, I used to date
several girls at a time, who were supposed to be
prude, and were religious, and managed to get them
obsessed with me. My problem is that my ex spent
1.5 years wussifying me. I'm trying to break out
of it, but I have so much free time, and so few
friends. I started going to the gym, and taking
guitar lessons, but I don't know what else to do!
Every time I get a girl interested, I panic. I'm
taking a girl out to lunch Monday before our
Accounting final. She is actually a good example.
Every time I showed interest in her she got
annoyed. I blew her off a few days ago when she
walked with me and my friend, Wednesday she was
all over me. When I asked her to lunch she already
started to seem to lose interest. What do I do?
How do I get her to like me in a way that's not
very noticeable? What should I do on Monday?

JC Beverly Hills, CA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Yeah, well I'm still going to hand you the Big
Wuss award for this week, man.

   What did I hear you say?

   That your "Ex" spent 1.5 years wussifying YOU?

   No no noooooo...

   IT WAS YOU that spent 1.5 years HAPPILY BEING
TRAINED AS A WORLD CLASS WUSSY.

   You... you... you did it!

   Now that we're back to reality and accepting
responsibility for our own behavior, let's talk
about what to do about it.

   What the hell are you doing "asking a woman to
lunch"?

   Haven't you been paying attention to anything I
say?

   lol... no, obviously not.

   When you "ask a woman out on a date", you're
basically saying, "Hi, I'm interested in you in a
romantic way, and I'd like to buy you some food so
you'll think of me as a wonderful provider, and
then maybe we can go out on some more dates that
I'll pay for and then get into a relationship...
if I'm lucky and you'll accept me".

   Duh.

   Instead of asking a woman out to lunch tell
her, "Hey, I'm going to get a cup of tea. Come
along and entertain me. And I don't mean with that
usual boring stuff that you talk about."

   It sounds to me like you're probably LEANING
into women and putting STRANGE EMOTIONAL PRESSURE
on them in a very subtle way when you're "asking
them out".

   Stop that!

   Lean back, and use what you're learning here
from me.

   It doesn't sound to me like you've listened to
my Advanced Dating Techniques program.

   I absolutely guarantee that this material will
save you a TON of time and a lot of frustrating
experiences.

   Hell, the money you'll save in DATES alone will
more than pay for it. Immediately go to:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries

   Your "inner wuss" needs to be evicted!

***QUESTION***

Dave, I've been receiving your newsletters for
sometime now and have to say a lot of the stuff I
read is very useful. Now you need to help me
please !!! I'm having real trouble with the whole
(spur of the moment) thing. By the time I think
of a good thing to say in that particular
situation, the moments passed. Here come the
examples. About a week ago I was at a club which
was quite packed, now im just standing there when
I feel someone grab me round the waist, I turn
around to see a stunning brunette standing behind
me smiling, and what did I say to her, absolutely
nothing !!!! Now this is the one im really kicking
myself about.

Yesterday I went my barbers only to see that a new
girl had started. Stunning blond about 17, you
know the type. Anyway, first I caught here
looking at me more than a few times, then we
exchanged a few smiles. There was quite a long
wait to be seen, then the next thing I know she
brings me a coffee with a sexy smile, non of the
other 10 lads who were in there waiting get one
and they all looked quite surprised. I kept on
thinking to myself, "im gonna ask her out in a
minute" the next thing I know I've been done and
walking out having not said a word.

I guess your now gonna tell me I need a good hard
slap and my head seeing to .... lol But what I
need to know is, is it to late to phone up and ask
her out, and if I did could I use any of the
things that happened, to my advantage using the
C&F routine ???

Thanks in advance, keep up the good work !!! P uk

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   I have to be honest with you.

   You are a dork.

   But, the good news is that you're not alone. I
have been in the situations you just mentioned a
bazillion times in my past, and I missed probably
hundreds of opportunities.

   So, this dork virus that you have isn't
terminal.

   Here's exactly what to do next time these
things happen:

   Say, "Hey, what's your name?"

   Then, after they give it to you say, "Do you
have email?"

   ...and if the answer is "Yes", then give her a
pen and have her write it down!

   It's that easy.

   But, will you do yourself a big, huge favor? Go
to the link that I just mentioned to Mr. Wussy
Award in the previous Q&A and get one of those for
yourself. I can't stress enough how important it
is to understand the material in that program.

   Really.

***QUESTION***

So I've tested it, and it works like I wouldn't
have believed. My ex-girlfriend that I'm back with
again can't do much about it...recently, she said
with a real smile: "You made fun of me from day
one!" with kind of a hint! hint! attitude of "and
please do more of that". If a woman wants to tell
you she's really into you, she'll normally say
ANYTHING but "I really like you" or so. More like
"You're so funny" or "You're so nasty", all with a
smile. Almost always something in the "You're
so..." category.

Then there's something else I've noticed...

When you talked about how mothers raise boys to be
wussies, I gave the "why" a little thought...ever
said something fresh or wisecrackish to mom?
Generally, you unleash the fire of the dragon
about how you'd better never, ever do that again.

How come mothers (and teachers, for that matter)
respond so negatively when their sons behave C&F
when other girls love it? Well...C&F is disarming
and hits women in a spot where they can feel their
power over you diminish to zero. And no mother
wants a kid who subtly communicates "I don't give
a damn about what you think of me" and such, let
alone have a kid who has power over her. No way!
As long as he's the wussy (and not the other way
round!), we can play happy family.

Greetings, LM from Liechtenstein

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   STOP RIGHT NOW AND REREAD THE ABOVE!

   NOW READ IT ONE MORE TIME.

   OK, this is good stuff.

   Many of us were raised by mom to be nice,
sweet, kind, respectful and ASS KISSING to women.

   What does this get us?

   I don't need to answer that question because
you know as well as I do what it gets us.

   Be nice to mom, but don't treat a woman that
you're interested in the same way you treat her!

***QUESTION***

Hi David,

I've read your book, and decided to test the ideas
last weekend. I went to a bar with a friend, and
pretty soon we were in the company of three women,
so I started being cocky and funny and busting
their balls. At first it seemed they liked it, but
as the night progressed, they started to say 'you
are too much' or, when another girl came up to us
and I advanced to use your tactics on her, they
told her 'watch out'. One girl even called me
annoying (never happened to me before). Only one
of them, who had a bad girl look, seemed to
totally
enjoy what I was doing, but on the other hand I
didn't get to talk much to her because first I
busted her balls, and when she wanted to smoke, I
ordered her to move to the opposite end of the
table. She gave me a hug later.

So my conclusion is that being cocky and funny
nonstop 100% of the time is overkill. I guess I
need to follow some kind of normal conversation,
sometimes spicing it up with cocky and funny
remarks. Whatdayathink? Thank you,

Nick P. Tallahassee, FL

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Oh, the comedy of it all.

   So, you went out ONCE and talked to a total of
FOUR women... and got some pretty positive overall
results...and you're questioning the entire
process.

   I'll tell you what.

   Go out 10 times, and talk to 10 women each time
you go out. Do this over the next 2-4 weeks, and
then report back at the end.

   You can't go out ONCE and then know all there
is to know about how women will respond to Cocky &
Funny.

   You have to practice. You have to get used to
it. You have to talk to a bunch of women to see
how they all respond differently.

   This stuff isn't magic, but it often works
almost as well.

   And what were you doing "in the company of
three women" for long enough that the night
"progressed"?

   Why didn't you just ask all of them for their
emails and numbers when you first met them... and
then moved on to the next group?

   If your answer is, "Well, I wanted to take one
of them home with me that night" that's OK, but I
recommend that if you're not skilled enough to do
that on a predictable basis that you GET THE
DIGITS AND MOVE ON... you'll have better overall
success that way.

***QUESTION***

David,

Your ebook completely changed the way I have
always believed how a man should act when
approaching women in order to get her attracted. I
used to try so hard to treat women nicely but at
the end I turned myself into a big wuss and ended
up going nowhere. Sometimes, even now, I am still
wondering why the C&F stuff attracts women because
I feel like somehow it's just simply another way
of being arrogant except that it's a little more
subtle. I guess it's just like what you said,
things don't always make sense. As long as it
works and gets the result, who cares whether it
makes sense or not?

The reason why I am writing you today is because I
have two questions that I would like to ask and
any advice would be appreciated. The SECOND
QUESTION maybe sensitive to some of the readers
out there and therefore you may just want to
respond privately.

1) Through my experience, I have realized that
once a woman has categorized me into the "no"
group, it's impossible to get out of it. Basically
I mean the first impression is EXTREMELY
important. If I can't show her my C&F side in the
beginning and once I am considered a provider but
not a lover, there is NO WAY OUT. I have found
that getting a second chance to redeem myself
extremely difficult. Is there a way to change a
woman's mind if this is the case?

2) I came from the Far East and I have been living
in the U.S. for over 10 years. I noticed that
women in this country would date their own men,
Hispanics, Europeans and those from the Middle
East. However, I rarely, I mean really rarely see
an Asian guy dating an American woman over the
last so many years. I thought a lot about it and
think that this is because many of these people
fall into the "Lover" groups you mentioned in one
of your books - the Adventurers, Seducers, Artists
and Bad Boys.

Meanwhile, my believe is that Asians are typically
considered nice guys which means providers. Our
culture has been traditionally emphasized on "keep
the harmony, don't be arrogant, give compliments,
don't rock the boat, etc." and therefore I feel
that many us may find the C&F idea difficult to
follow due to what we have been taught.

Let's just say that we get rid of this problem and
finally learn how to be C&F, the problem is now
how to convince a woman not to stereotype me as a
provider before I even open my mouth and have a
chance to prove myself. I fear that most of the
women out there automatically put me into the "no"
or provider category as soon as they see me.

Dave, TX

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   OK, to answer your first question...

   I get a TON of email from guys who are looking
for the answer to the magic question, "How do I
get a woman who I've convinced not to like me to
give me a second chance?"

   The answer is: DON'T. JUST MOVE ON.

   It's not worth the time, effort, and energy.

   The best thing you can do is stop calling her,
start dating other women, and if you can, make
sure she finds out that you've moved on.

   Get on with your life. And, ironically, that
will give you the best chances of her feeling
attracted to you again.

   To answer your second point...

   I have friends of all races, colors, sizes,
ages, etc. and I've found that looks are
SECONDARY.

   All other things being equal, a six-foot three
guy who is 21 years old, a multi-millionaire,
drives a Ferrari, and is famous, will have an
easier time meeting women...

   But, I have one friend who is about 5'4" tall,
ASIAN, and has an average income who is UNREAL
when it comes to meeting women. He's always
surrounded by a group of hot young women who love
him.

   Why? Because he GETS IT!

   And I believe that you can to, no matter what
your looks, age, race, etc.

***QUESTION***

So far I've read a lot of good advice on how to
handle some of the most common situations with
women. But one thing still remains a mystery for
me: I have the most trouble initiating a
conversation and namely one that will lead to
getting her number or setting up a date etc. If i
see a woman walking down the hall of my college or
maybe even at the store, how do I approach her and
start a conversation without seeming like just
another "jerk" guy who is trying to get her into
bed. I would like to meet women and have them be
actually attracted to me not just have encounters.
I never know what to say, I mean sure I could
introduce myself but then what? And also once the
conversation has started, when is a good time to
ask for a number? How much conversation is a good
amount or what type of "level" should a
conversation reach so that she will feel
comfortable about giving her number out? Generally
I like having friends introduce me to someone
because it gives me a good starting point and we
both have something in common to talk about: a
mutual friend. And once it gets rolling I have no
problems, even though I am not the best looking
guy. As you said in your last letter even regular
guys benefit from this and its true I am average
at about everything but I have my share of women.
Initiating conversations with women I don't know
or
any of my friends know is the toughest for me. Any
advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks and
keep up the good work!

JS Chicago, IL

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Good question.

   This is a question that is top- of-mind for just
about every single adult male on the planet, by
the way.

   So, first I have to pick apart the WAY you
asked the question.

   Then I'll give you some ideas...

   I noticed that you wrote:

"...how do I approach her and start a conversation
without seeming like just another "jerk" guy who
is trying to get her into bed..."

   Do you think that most women are approached a
lot in the hall or at stores by "jerk guys who are
trying to get them into bed"?

   And it also sounds to me like you have the
concepts of "jerk" and "wanting to get her into
bed" linked together in your mind.

   In my experience, a woman won't think of you as
a "jerk" unless either:

1. She's dating you, you're abusive, and she can't
figure out why she can't bring herself to break up
with you.

2. You're the kind of guy that OBVIOUSLY has no
game at all whatsoever, but you're trying to talk
to her in a sexually suggestive way.

   Are you with me here?

   Women don't automatically think of regular guys
who stop them in the hall or at the bookstore as
"jerks".

   And this is ESPECIALLY true if you're
interesting, charming, and comfortable with
yourself.

   You feel me?

   So the first thing you need to do is STOP USING
YOUR WONDERFUL, CREATIVE IMAGINATION TO LIMIT
YOURSELF!

   I know MANY guys that approach women all the
time... in the hall, in the store, at clubs, on
the Internet, and every other place on the
planet... and I've heard of VERY, VERY few
instances where something bad came of it.

   And, in fact, the worst I've EVER heard of is
having a drink thrown in your face or a slap.

   I've never heard of:

1. Permanent bodily injury

2. Death

3. Irreparable damage to self esteem

   (Although I'm sure that some dumb-ass somewhere
on the planet has figured out a way to have one of
these things happen to him as a result of
approaching a woman... and he probably deserved
it, at that.)

   The point is that if you start a conversation
with a woman, IT'S GOING TO BE OK.

   And, if you do it in an interesting, charming
way there's a VERY good chance that a woman will
give you her name and email/number.

   And, if you DON'T start talking to her, then
the chances are very close to ZERO that you'll get
her email/number.

   Here, try this:

   Next time you walk by a girl in the hall, look
her right in the eye and give her a slight smile.

   Then say, "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

   When she stops and says, "Sure", say:

   "Are you single?"

   If she asks, "Why?" say:

   "Well, I know someone who I think would REALLY
find you attractive. He's nice, funny,
interesting... and I think you might like him."
And smile in a knowing way as you say all of this,
hinting that you might be talking about yourself.

   Then ask, "Do you have email?"

   If she asks if you're talking about yourself,
just look at her and say, "Maybe".

   Get her email and say, "I'll have him email
you". Then walk away.

   This is a fun way to start a conversation, and
the direct "Are you single?" question really
throws women off balance for a moment.

   There are an unlimited number of ways to start
conversations with women, and I recommend that you
check out some of my products for more great info.

   By the way, if you like this idea and you'd
like another HUNDRED OR SO more just like it, then
go here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/ApproachingWomen

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

I just have one simple question for you. Since
women are not attracted to wussies...why the hell
do our mothers raise us to act this way and tell
us that this is what girls want in a man?

MCH

Detroit, MI

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Well, as we discussed in an earlier Q&A, your
mom wasn't ATTRACTED to you, dude.

   At least I hope not.

   Whatever.

   LISTEN: Your mom probably can't even REMEMBER
what it's like to feel a GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for
a man, and even if she CAN remember it, she's not
going to be able to EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW TO DO IT.

   Moms have experience.

   They know that guys who arouse sexual passions
in a woman are usually BAD NEWS, and they don't
want you to turn out that way.

   Moms universally give HORRIBLE advice to sons
on how to make women feel ATTRACTION for them.

   I could go on, but I think you get my point.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Hey Dave, *bowing "We're Not WORTHY !! * :-)

I have always had a good funny streak, but was
always Mr. Chivalry and then wondering why I had
so many "friends" but no "dates". They "say" thats
what they "want", but now I know better!! Plus I
was always down on myself because I have a
hereditary skin condition that sometimes flares
and looks really bad. (but I have since found out,
using this material, they really don't care once
they find out it isn't contagious !! :-) ). Been
getting your newsletters for a couple months now.
I don't know which one of my buddies signed me up
for them, but if I ever find out, Ill buy him a
round!! They must have known this was EXACTLY what
I NEEDED!! :-) Mucho Grassyass to both You and
whoever it was that signed me up!! I have been
putting to good use what info comes out of the
newsletters, and I've gone from sitting at home on
Friday and Saturday nights to forgetting that I
had 2 or 3 lined up on the same night and having
to cancel one or more. Ooops ! I'm just not used
to having to "schedule" women :-)

I thought I would write in on how knowing how to
"recognize" BEING A WUSS does have its advantages!

A few weeks ago I started dating this one gal - a
6, maybe 7, but an 8 personality. She started to
get all clingy and calling all the time, but I
don't have time to sit on the phone with non-
customers (not getting paid) all day. She was
starting to get annoying. But I don't have a mean
bone in my body, enough to tell her to scram.

I had a slow week coming up, I remembered
everything from the newsletters, and decided to
use it OPPOSITE of the intended purpose. I started
calling HER all the time, stopping by her work
bringing her lunch, would call and ask if I could
come over in the evenings, etc. When we did go
out, I would purposely act like I didn't care
where we went, and made her decide.

Basically, to quote words of THE master, "THE
ULTIMATE WUSS BAG" !! I mean, I poured it on worse
than before I started getting the newsletters,
because I NOW KNEW what to do and HOW to do it!

Well, Dave (and anyone else reading), it worked
like a charm!! She started saying how different we
were and that maybe I should date other women as
well. When I heard that line, I knew I was on my
way to FREEDOM!! :-) Another day or so of it, to
make sure it "took hold", and haven't talked to
her since. And I'm betting she is not upset in the
least.

Now I'm back to my same old problem though: I have
3 women - maybe a 4th (an ex GF from a few months
ago, who basically dumped me cuz I was a wus, has
started calling again...roflmao) lined up for this
Saturday. But as the old adage goes - "Better to
have too much than not enough", right? :-) (I
think Ill cancel the ex's, just to show her what
"she got rid of"..lol )

I do think I need to invest in a PDA, though,
before I get your CD's/DVD's and REALLY get myself
into serious trouble :-)

Thanks for all the great stuff! KTF Austin, TX

P.S. I told my one buddy your line "Give her the
gift of missing you", and Im pretty sure he has
now signed up and may be getting your book soon!
:-) Cheers!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

   My friends and I make jokes about doing this
all the time... but you actually did it!

   This is totally out of control.

   Of course, as soon as you started acting like a
total Wussy, she stopped liking you.

   What else would she do?

   lol... this great stuff. Thanks for the letter.

***QUESTION***

Sup Dave..

I've been getting your newsletter for a couple of
months now, and I must admit the material is 100
proof. I've always been pretty decent with women,
but never consistent. It wasn't till I started
reading your stuff, that I realized there's a
formula to this.

OK, quick question. Thanks to your material, I've
stepped up my game and hooked up with a 9.5
(physically)... who actually "gets it". I mean
this girl can go toe to toe with the best at
c&f...and this makes for an unbelievable
connection. I almost lost her several times, due
to that wuss urge...but thanks to your material
I've always recovered and managed to stay pretty
much in control of things. My question is..now
that things are going good, how do I get her to
show more initiative. She's willing to do pretty
much anything I suggest, but getting her to
initiate plans is a rarity. Same goes with
physical contact, she's down for whatever.. but
I'm always the one to get it started. Don't get me
wrong, by no means am I overwhelming her with date
proposals, or affection...but I'm at a point where
I want her to "stroke my ego" a little by making
the first move, and making a brother feel desired.
I'm sure plenty of readers out there can relate
(hopefully I'm not the only one). I'm not asking
for a magic word or anything, but there has to be
some solution here.. this girl has definitely got
long term potential (I know, not your area)..but
this nonchalant thing is working my last nerves.
An answer to this question would take my game to
the next level. What say you??

N. Roms Brooklyn, NY

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Well, if things are going so well, then who
cares about "her showing initiative"?

   It's attractive to women when a man leads, so
if it's working for you, then keep it up.

   Just don't overdo it!

   Lean back, and give her space in between.

   Remember, if she's a "9.5", then she gets
offers ALL THE TIME from men, and she is
completely used to the idea of men offering her
things, calling her, etc.

   It might just be that her model of the world
revolves around this idea.

   Just keep doing what works!

***QUESTION***

David-

Soon after I began receiving your mailbags (6
months ago) I purchased your ebook. I was
inspired to buy it after having success with the
tips in the mailbags. You have absolutely changed
the way I view women and dating. I was completely
blown away by the success I had after integrating
your theories about the concept of attraction into
my lifestyle. I used to be nervous and timid (a
wuss bag) around women, but with your help I have
learned to interact with women on a level that I
never thought possible. I have found that when I
interact with women in this way (C/F, confident,
etc.), they go through a few stages: First, THEY
are the ones who become nervous, etc., as if this
is something that they have NEVER experienced
before. After this first "shock" stage, they
become VERY intrigued. Naturally following this,
attraction sets in. From here, I decide whether
or not I would like to intensify the attraction
(is this a woman I would like to date, or is she
just good practice?). If I decide that yes, I am
interested in this woman, I lead them into "stage
three", wherein I continue to use your techniques
and they continue to feel attraction for me. Using
this formula, I attracted a woman that I decided
was worth dating. We are now in a relationship,
and I am very much into her (she is emotionally
stable, always honest with me, and not to mention
stunningly beautiful) but I have a couple
problems. Often times, she gives me signals that
she does not feel secure in the relationship, as
if I am about to drop her at any moment for
another girl. Perhaps this is because I don't at
all hang on her, and I talk about other women.
Although I do these things, part of me wants to
tell her that I love her and I absolutely do not
want out olf the relationship. How can I relay
this to her without

A) looking like a wussie, or B) giving her power
in the relationship?

Also, should I continue to talk about other women
around her, which makes her jealous, or am I being
manipulative? I have found this to be very
effective, but I do not always feel good about it.
I realize that you do not often talk about
relationships, but any insights you have would be
very much appreciated. You truly are a pioneer in
this field.

-T, minnesota

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   OK, I'm going to address this one because it's
also relevant to guys who have only gone out with
a woman a few times and the woman is acting this
way (insecure, etc.).

   A few observations:

1. INSECURITY is a problem that SHE ALREADY HAS.
It just so happens that your behaviors are
allowing you to see it sooner than most guys
would.

2. It's ALMOST ALWAYS good when the woman you're
dating knows that other women are attracted to
you.

3. You should not change your behavior to suit a
woman. In other words, if it's natural for you to
talk to women, then talk to them. If you're ONLY
doing it to make her jealous, then this is
probably an insecure behavior on YOUR part.

   I've personally found that if I start to tell a
woman, "Oh, baby, you're the only one for me and I
want to be with you forever and ever, and you
should feel secure in the relationship no matter
what" that the only thing it accomplishes is her
seeing me as a Wuss Bag.

   If she isn't secure in herself, then she's not
going to be secure in the relationship... and
there's probably not much you can do about that
except hope that she grows out of it.

   I think that most of us KNOW where the line is
between "reassuring the woman we love that we're
in this for the long term" and "giving up our
power".

   Just don't cross the line.

***COMMENT***

Dave,

I am in the process of purchasing your book but I
can tell you before hand that this stuff works.
I'm buying because I haven't been as successful as
I would like. I'll give you two quick examples
attesting that your system works. The 1st is
happened in a jazz club I would frequent when I
lived in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. I started talking to
a girl at the bar & was my usual C&F self. I was
giving her a real rash of s..t. & she was
returning it. After about an hour, because I felt
I was being too tough on her I said, "Let's start
over. Hi. My name is ..... What's yours". I knew I
had made a mistake when she looked at me strange &
said, "And I was just getting to like you". Then
mumbled something about how she was ready to cook
me dinner. I ended up flunking the test. The
second time was with a girl that worked in my off.
I worked days, her on the night shift. The boss
told me how great looking she was so I decided to
stay late one night & find out. He was right. She
was gorgeous with a awesome bod. However, she came
in one night wearing a huge pear shaped diamond on
her wedding ring finger so I assumed that meant,
"I'm taken". The next night, no ring, & blouse
unbuttoned more than I expected giving me a
wonderful sight. She finally agreed to see an
outdoor jazz concert & I was my usual sarcastic
self. On the 3rd date she told me she said how she
hated me the 1st time we dated because I was so
sarcastic but the more we dated the more she liked
me but then said, "but I'm not ready to go to
bed". I said, "Have I been pressuring you"? She
said, "No. You're different & besides that , you
make me laugh". Problem, I thought my position was
secure & I turned into Mr. Wus. & lost out. This
is a girl I never would have asked out normally
because she was so good looking & sexy. We're not
kids either. I was 49, her 42. It took me years to
see what I have been doing wrong, & no matter what
women say, they don't want a "NICE" guy. Now with
your help I will be able to improve my strategy.

Thanks R. C. Houston, TX

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Oh, good choice getting my book.

   I'll tell you - women LOVE it when you're
challenging, funny, and charming... and they don't
quite know what's happening.

   When you do the old "I just want to tell you
seriously that all this Cocky & Funny stuff is
just play and I actually like you and want to take
you out" thing, you INSTANTLY kill the sexual
tension in the situation.

   This is another way of communicating. You can't
all-of-a-sudden stop and say, "Let's start over.
Hi, my name is Mr. Wussy, what's yours?"

   Oh, and NEVER ask, "Have I been pressuring
you?" That REALLY makes you sound like a world-
class Girly Man.

   When you find something that works, KEEP DOING
IT!

***QUESTION***

David:

I just purchased your Advanced Series; I can't
wait to listen to it.

I recently saw firsthand what being cocky around a
woman can do. I was at a party with some people
from my work, and I started talking with this one
girl (Actually, she started talking to me).
Anyway, she was telling me how she had to wear a
different dress because the zipper got stuck on
the other one. A friend of mine who will say
anything to anyone at anytime then asked her "Why,
because your ass is too big?" Now, I would never
think of saying such a thing, and she seemed a bit
appalled at first, but guess who she proceeded to
talk to the rest of the night? Oh, by the way, he
also told her he liked "the dye in her hair."

I have one question for you: I met a girl at a
party on a Halloween weekend. I made a joke about
her costume, she played along with it, then when I
told her I was leaving she voluntarily gave me her
number. I called her twice, but she didn't return
my calls. In the meantime, I was trying to set up
a date with another girl who promptly answered my
calls, but let's just say she looked a lot better
at the club with the lights down low. So now I
want to call the hot one, but I don't want to look
stupid because I waited so long. What do you
think?

Thanks, J San Diego

>>>MY COMMENTS:

   Ha!

   I have to say, it takes game to look a woman
right in the eye and ask, "Why, because your ass
is too big?" LOL!

   I've done similar things, but you'd better make
sure that it's funny.

   Not for the weak of heart!

   And to answer your question about calling the
cute girl back.

   Look, in the book, "The Rules" (the one that
teaches women how to play games to get a man to
marry them), the authors recommend that women NOT
call men, and RARELY return their calls.

   So, don't worry about it.

   Some guys don't like to call women more than
once or twice, but I ask you this:

   What is there to lose?

   If you have to call her once a week for five
weeks until you get a hold of her, what have you
wasted?

   Five extra minutes dialing the phone?

   So what?

   Now, if you're feeling like a needy little
puppy, and you're calling her five times A DAY
trying to get a hold of her, that's a different
story.

   As long as you're getting on with your life,
keeping busy, and dating other women, then keep
trying until you reach her.

   I'll personally keep calling a woman until
either:

1. She tells me to stop calling her (which has
never happened)

2. I get too busy to care anymore (which happens
all the time)

3. I set up a meeting with her

   You're getting this stuff down, so keep at it!

   And if you're reading this right now and
thinking to yourself "Wow, It's REALLY time that I
got this area of my life together... and learned
how to be more successful with women and
dating..." then I have five words for you:

   YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT IS.

   OK, technically that might be six words.

   Here's what I recommend:

   FIRST, go and download yourself a copy of my
online eBook "Double Your Dating".

   Inside "Double Your Dating" I'm going to
introduce you to all of the main ideas and key
techniques that I learned and developed over
several YEARS of working to figure this stuff out
for MYSELF.

   The new Second Edition has been updated and
improved, and now has "Action Step Chapter
Summaries" at the end of each chapter... so you
can review quickly once you've read the book.
Think about it this way: You can review a couple
of chapters worth of main concepts in just a few
minutes... before going out, before a date, etc.
Very valuable.

   You can go and download it to your computer
RIGHT NOW and be reading it within a few minutes.
It's here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook

   And one more new thing:

   As you probably know, I have an entire CD/DVD
program called "Cocky Comedy".

   I'm excited about this program because it
teaches you how to be FUNNY in a way that creates
MASSIVE ATTRACTION with women.

   It's one of the greatest techniques I've ever
discovered, and it's one of the only things that
literally any man can use to spark and amplify
ATTRACTION with women.

   The other place that Cocky Comedy comes in
handy is APPROACHING women and starting
conversations.

   When you understand how to use this technique,
it gives you an "unfair" advantage over other guys
in just about every type of situation... and makes
starting conversations with women not only EASY,
but also FUN.

   If you'd like to get a feel for what I'm
talking about, go check out the website and watch
the free SAMPLE clips of the program.

   Just watching the samples on this page will
give you a "feel" for Cocky Comedy... and a feel
for the all-important TIMING you'll need to learn
in order to master it.

   Go here to check it out and watch the video
clips:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/CockyComedy

   I'll talk to you again soon.

      Your Friend,

      David D.

P.S. Don't forget to check out all of the programs
I've created to help you learn how to attract and
meet women. My programs cover ALL aspects... from
"Inner Game" stuff like how to overcome fear and a
limiting self-image, to specific techniques like
how to approach women, how to meet women online,
and how to make sure that your conversation
creates ATTRACTION. You can check them all out
here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/

--------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2008 David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. David
DeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks. By
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all of the following: You understand that this is
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David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. and all members and
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