Hi ,Man,
Tell me something -- do you think of yourself as a "sensitive" guy?
If so, uh oh... here comes an URGENT WARNING just for YOU...
Most so-called "sensitive" guys make 1 DEVASTATING MISTAKE when it comes to trying to "get physical" with a woman.
Doing just this one thing is such a MAJOR turnoff to women that -- if you're not enjoying mind-blowing PHYSICAL experiences with women right now
-- odds are you're GUILTY of doing it!
Here's what it is... and, MORE IMPORTANTLY, how to STOP doing it RIGHT NOW.
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Let me ask you ANOTHER question:
When you think about going out on a "first date" with a woman, HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL?
Now be honest.
Does it make you feel all, "Hey, I've totally got this, no worries"?
Or does it make you feel SOMETHING ELSE...
As in, totally NERVOUS.
Even outright SCARED.
Well, I've had enough "first dates" myself (and talked to enough OTHER guys about their first dates) to KNOW one thing for certain:
Most guys will NEVER admit it, but *most* of us are in pretty poor "psychological shape" when it comes to going out on a first date.
IN FACT, most of us find ourselves anywhere from mildly ANXIOUS to downright PARALYZED WITH FEAR.
Just THINKING about going out on a first date, our hearts start to beat faster...
Our palms start to sweat...
We can't sleep the night before...
No big surprise.
But here's the real SHOCKER:
All of this happens to us for a very good and helpful reason... WE JUST NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO IT!
It happens because, deep down inside, most guys realize that we never get a second chance to make a first impression with a woman.
One wrong move, and you're banished to the "just friends" category.
Or worse... outright REJECTED, never to be heard from again.
This is why the stakes are high when we've just met a great woman... one we might want to share the rest of our lives with... and now it's time to go out for the first time.
Am I right?
So... assuming that you have the first-date "basics" covered (do I really have to say it? Things like good hygiene... manners... etc.) what can you do to make sure it happens?
What can you do to leave all the FEAR and WORRY of going out on a first date behind for good...
... and always make a GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION instead?
Thought you'd never ask. Here come the 3 most powerful ways to create a great first impression on a first date:
#1: TALK TO A WOMAN LIKE IT'S A DATE, NOT A JOB INTERVIEW
Listen... as important as it is to be well- groomed and polite (see "the basics" I was talking about above) there's just no way around it:
Any guy who focuses on behaving politely to a fault on a first date is MUCH more likely to come across as "stiff."
He's much more likely to seem anxious and jittery.
Worst of all, he's almost guaranteed to totally BORE a woman.
Let's face it. Guys who do what Mommy taught them... treating women with nervous politeness and rigid, school-boy respect... come off like they're out on a job interview with a woman instead of a first date.
WHAT A DISASTER.
And guess what...
Women do NOT come away from a first date like this telling their friends, "He was so cordial. So polite and agreeable. Exactly the type of guy that gets me excited to see him again!"
In fact, most women come away from a date like this thinking two things:
"YAWN."
Followed closely by:
"WHO'S NEXT?"
However... after a SUCCESSFUL first-date experience, women come away saying things like "He was so funny!"
Or, "There was this amazing chemistry between us!"
Or, "He was so fun, I think I really feel something for him!"
But okay, I think you get it.
Question is... what's all this mean to YOU?
It means that it's critical that you learn how to "heat up" usual, polite, first-date meetings and conversations by learning to create 3 things with a woman:
1) Interest.
2) Enticement.
3) Excitement.
And the easiest way to do all three is this:
Say and do just a few simple things that make it clear to a woman that you like to HAVE FUN.
Don't get me wrong... I'm not saying you have to convince a woman that you're Dennis Rodman or something.
I'm just saying that you need to start treating a woman on a first date like she's a FRIEND instead of a potential employer.
In more other words... drop the constant GOAL- TENDING.
Stop playing it so SAFE in conversations.
EXAMPLES:
After the first "hello" moments of the date, feel free to take the usual conversation topics (careers... movies... whatever) and redirect the conversation in a way that creates FUN instead of TENSION and STIFFNESS.
Just like you would with any FRIEND, right?
So, if she's wearing something interesting, tease her gently about it.
Ask her to hold the door for YOU.
Tell her you're tired of talking about your job... you'd rather talk about an ultra-cool experience you just had.
Or (even better) one that SHE'S recently had.
Oh... and if she gives you a compliment, take it as an opportunity to challenge her in small ways that set you apart from that usual, nervous "first-date" guy.
Make a joke like, "Look, I'm not like other guys. Compliments won't get me into bed."
In other words, treat her like a friend and not like you're trying to "win her over" and impress her, and you'll start to see amazing results.
Now, if you'd like to learn about a bazillion more ways to come off as FUN and EXCITING and a CHALLENGE on a first date (instead of like a total BORE) check this out.
In the meantime, on to the second way to make a great first impression on a first date...
#2: STOP ASKING LETHAL, ATTRACTION-KILLING QUESTIONS
Oh yes, you're guilty of this one aren't you?
Whether it's because you're nervous... insecure... haven't planned ahead... you jump right in with questions on a first date like:
"So, how do you think it's going?"
Even worse... "Do you think we're a good
match?"
Worst of all: "So, do you like me?"
Please.
Pass me the barf bag.
You see, these types of questions totally reek of DESPERATION.
And desperation is the biggest ATTRACTION KILLER, bar none.
It makes a woman start thinking of you as a WUSSY.
Once a woman you've just met starts to think of you in that particular way, she's likely to KEEP thinking of you in that way.
This is why I recommend that men avoid the impulse to ask these standard "first-date" questions at all costs... all of which are guaranteed ATTRACTION KILLERS.
Instead, ask some questions that send the signal to a woman that you're a man who's:
1) Interesting.
2) Inquisitive.
3) NOT A WUSS.
EXAMPLES:
Bring up a culturally interesting subject (read a tabloid to be up on the latest juicy gossip... go online and learn about wine or cuisine... whatever...) then express a funny opinion on it.
Or discuss your favorite "real man" activity (skydiving... ice hockey... whatever...) and ask her if she's interested in it, too. Then tell her all about it.
Even better: hint at bringing HER along the next time YOU do it!
That one's awesome... Not only are you showing that you're a interesting, active guy who doesn't ask lame-ass, desperate questions...
... you're ALSO setting up the NEXT date in a confident, in-control way as well!
Nice!
Basically, just come across as INTERACTIVE, INTERESTED and RESPONSIVE in a conversation instead of DESPERATE, UNFUNNY, and LAME (while always listening and reacting to what SHE has to say on a subject) and you'll be golden.
Want to know more about how to do it? Then read this!
Otherwise... onto the final way to make a great first impression on a first date:
#3: USE THE RIGHT BODY LANGUAGE
I just can't say it enough...
When you meet a woman for the first time, You *MUST* pay attention to your body language.
This is CRITICAL... yet most guys don't bother even THINKING about it.
Which is INSANE.
After all, your body language starts "speaking" to a woman long before you ever say a word.
The way you walk up to her...
The way you stand...
The way you take a seat...
The way you hold a posture and move your eyes...
For better or worse, all of this is saying EVERYTHING a woman needs to know about you... before you ever open your mouth!
And, if your body language is saying all the WRONG things, it's GAME OVER before it ever really began.
That's why you need to make certain that your body language is projecting the same CONFIDENT, IN-CONTROL ATTRACTION-BUILDING messages that your ACTIONS and WORDS are.
Makes sense, right?
But how do you DO it?
It's actually SIMPLE...
...once you start paying attention to your body language.
Make sure to maintain eye contact with a woman while not forgetting to blink (ALERT: Lack of blinking is the best way to come across as "creepy.")
Sit upright, leaning back a bit to show you're not too pushy, desperate, or overeager.
Keep your body turned confidently and open to her, instead of shut down and defensive.
If she ever draws back away from you, never "chase" her by leaning in. (Instead, make sure that you draw back away, too.)
Also, when you speak, use a low, slow voice tone. If you rush your words, you're more likely to stammer.
During conversation, look around the room once in a while to look calm and to break the tension.
All of this gets you off to a major head-start on first-date success, and will keep you from losing the game before it starts.
But, of course, it's all just the tip of the "body language" iceberg...
If you want to know how to harness the irresistible, almost MAGICAL power of using BODY LANGUAGE...
... and make the great women you want start chasing YOU without ever having to say a word...
... then I suggest that you have a look at this.
In the meantime, here's what I want you to take away from all this:
If you're tired of feeling anywhere from mildly ANXIOUS to SCARED STIFF on a first date, the solution is simple:
Learn how to act like a friend instead of a stiff when you go out for the first time.
Avoid asking those "lethal" questions and start asking the RIGHT ones to CREATE ATTRACTION.
Use the right body language to create almost magical feelings of WANTING YOU inside a woman.
Do these things, and I guarantee it:
A great SECOND date is 100% assured.
Until next time...
Susan Bratton
Dr. Patti Taylor
Sloane Fox
Tallulah Sulis
