Why Do Women Love JERKS So Much?
>If you'd like to learn how to speak the secret
"language" that I call Sexual Communication... and
how to create "chemistry" with any woman you meet,
then take a minute and read THIS:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/SexualCommunication/
I am 18 years old and just graduated high school.
I used to be a MAJOR wuss and when I was younger I
was always a shy kid who was picked on a lot
because I was a short, skinny kid that never stood
up for myself. And worst of all, I never took
advantage of high school to get girls! I started
getting your newsletter earlier this year and the
cocky + funny attitude changed my life in more
ways than one. I hang out with guys that get the
hottest high school girls you can ever imagine.
Not only do they get 9's and 10's, I see these
girls obsess over them. I was around them so much
that I tried to model thier behavior around girls
and I noticed that EVERYTHING you preach about,
comes to them NATURALLY. Every tip of advice
you've given to guys ACTUALLY works, and Ive seen
it first hand.
I started using cocky + funny myself and even use
lines that Ive seen my friends use in past cases.
I saw a HOT girl in the mall and she was checking
herself out in a pocket mirror so I said "don't
worry, your hair doesn't look THATTT bad". She
started laughing even though I just made fun of
her! I asked for her email and when she said she
doenst have the internet, I used your line "well
do you have electricity"? AGAIN the girl laughed,
and I ended up getting her phone # and I hooked up
with her that weekend!
MY QUESTION - my natural personality has
transformed from a wussy shy nice kid to a guy
that's gonna bust your balls, but a nice guy at
heart. I made a lot more girl "friends" too, but
whenever they try to tell me their sad stories, I
let them know Im not their boyfriend and do not
care. Whenever I gain the courage to use
cocky+funny, it WORKS but my problem is even
though I've seen this work in action, I fear I
don't know enough cocky+funny lines to keep up a
conversation with a girl. Also, do you recommend
hitting on random strangers you see, because my
friends say they never really hit on strangers
unless they have a reason to go up and talk to
them. My friends also say to ALWAYS have 5
"project girls" and never focus on one girl. Is
this true? please write back.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
It's interesting, because I actually discovered
the Cocky & Funny technique by watching guys who
were good with women. In fact, a guy who is now a
good friend was trying to explain the concept to
me a few years back... and he was the first one to
say "Cocky & Funny." Of course, I had no idea what
he was talking about at the time. It really made
no sense to me.
But after I started working with it and
watching other guys who were really successful
with women, I learned how it worked.
It sounds like you're really getting it -
congrats!
As for your questions...
Don't worry about being able to "come up with
enough lines to keep up a conversation." Just do
what you can, and enjoy yourself. A few Cocky &
Funny lines used here and there are MUCH better
than nothing at all.
If you feel like approaching strangers, great.
If you just realize that most women are going to
be nice, but some will be either unavailable or
unfriendly then you'll be fine. I have personally
had great success meeting "strangers," and as my
good friend Rick says, "Every friend you have
started out as a stranger...."
And as for the "5 project girls", you're
cracking me up over here. If you like the idea of
staying single and dating a lot of different
women, then this is the way to do it! Just make
sure they don't turn into your personal
"psychological projects".
Thanks for your email.
Hey Dave....
I'm a premed student who has been subscribing to
your newsletter for quite a while now. I've been
meaning to buy your book but im not in the habit
of using a credit card so ill have to open an
account especially for this. Anyway, i've been
going out with this girl for 9 months now. She is
smart, attractive, and funny. the way i landed
her was by being cocky funny. EXTREMELY cocky
funny. i was always one step ahead of her. It was
kind of like "Dont even TRY to challenge me, im
already inside your head!". everything was cool.
but to tell the truth (and no offense) i just kind
of got tired of the constant effort.....so i
cooled it off a bit not always seizing the
opportunity to remind her just who it is she's
dealing with. And i think i got screwed. Now i
feel like i've turned into a wuss....and i HATE
IT!!! no.. I LOATHE IT !!!!!!!!!! When i turn on
the macho act she's a pussy cat again. You see i
want someone to whom i can genuinely be.... just
nice to, with her appreciating it and NOT taking
advantage. i mean since this is a long-term
relationship i want someone who will give me a
smooth ride without all that continuos
maintenance. I dont wanna be cocky and tough all
my life with her, sometimes a guy just wants to
relax. Is it possible??
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ooooooo, good question.
I've seen a trend in the way guys who are
learning to be Cocky & Funny and to stay in
control change.
As they're learning the techniques, they become
more and more attractive to women. Then, they meet
a really amazing woman - a woman that was
previously "out of their league," and they decide
to start a relationship.
As soon as they start getting closer, the guy
begins to put aside the things that worked, and
start being more and more submissive... which, of
course, drives this new woman away.
Then I get an email saying "I want to be nice
and sweet and a good guy but still have all the
super hot women calling me 24/7".
Here's what I say:
"BEING YOURSELF" IS A PRIVILEGE THAT YOU HAVE
TO EARN, NOT A RIGHT.
And the way that you earn it is to learn what
it takes to make women feel ATTRACTION, learn what
it takes to NOT drive women away, then make these
things part of "YOURSELF."
Are you with me here?
The problem is that for a lot
of guys "being yourself" means "being the type of
guy that women don't feel any ATTRACTION for."
If you can't make a woman feel the emotion of
ATTRACTION, then there's really nothing I can do
to help you. If you're not willing to do the work
and make the changes more or less permanent, then
you're going to have a long uphill battle.
And in your case, you have to realize that this
woman was attracted to you for a REASON, and if
you stop that REASON, then you're going to stop
the ATTRACTION.
Whats goin on Dave?
I would love to say how great your stuff works,
but I haven't had much luck with it as of yet. I
have seen it put to good use though. My bro does
the whole cocky/funny routine naturally and I see
all its power. Most of the time I was Mr. Nice-
Guy. and, of course, it didn't work as much as I
would like. Which is why I'm writing this e-
mail.(duh)
My problem is I'm missing the key ingredient to
your 'super recipe,' funny. The way I see it,
cocky is like garlic, by itself it is repulsive
and disgusting. But when used as a seasoning to
another main dish (funny), it can do wonders. I'm
missing the main dish. Anyone can be cocky, but I
lack in the funny department. So where do I start
to fix this?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Humor has a structure, and it can be learned.
Some people seem to have an easier time learning
how to be funny, but I've seen some not-too-funny
people become VERY funny with practice.
Read some books, watch Comedy Central, and
practice. Start a journal and write down funny
lines you hear so you can use them later.
Get with your Bro' and watch him. Ask him for
advice and ideas. Practice. You can learn how to
be funny and it's important that you do if you
want to attract women!
As I'm sure you know, my book has some of my
very favorite "standard" lines for different
situations, plus more on how to create specific
humor for specific situations.
For all the details, go to:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
I know that you put real stories in these letters
because I sent one in and it appeared exactly as I
had written it. I laughed till I cried over the
"fat, pimply, and hairy" story.
You are "Da man" I look forward to your wit in
these letters and I must admit I'm going to buy
your book.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, all of the email letters I print in my
newsletters are ALL real. Every single one of
them. I wish I had more time in the day, because I
get hundreds of them a week...
Thanks for the compliments, and enjoy.
Ok David, first off, I would like to say thank you
for taking the years that you did to get all of
this great info., and then be generous enough to
spread the knowledge. Here is my situation. I
knew this girl back in high school, and I haven't
seen her since graduation (about 2 yrs ago). I
bumped into her the other day and WOW (she is a
9.5 easy). Well, having not yet tried out any of
your techniques, I thought "What the hell, let's
go for it." It worked. The c/f technique was
golden. Got her email AND number. Well, we
eventually went out and had a great time. A couple
of days later, I went over to see her new place,
and well, things got a little wild. (it all
started with your amazing kiss technique- thanks
again) So here's the deal. She likes me a lot, and
I like her a lot, but I have been playing back in
order to keep the ugly head of the "wussy" out of
the picture. When is a good time (or is there a
good time at all) to be serious with her? Do I
bust on her all the time, b/c I don't want her to
think I am a jerk? Any help you can give is great.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, I don't exactly know what you mean by
"serious."
If you mean "When can I talk about how I'm sad
because my dog got run over and my inner child
needs a hug," then NEVER is the answer. Well,
maybe you can have one "serious" conversation like
this on the 10th date, and it can last no longer
than 5 minutes.
Just stay away from heavy emotional issues,
problems, drama, and general WUSS topics.
If you need a friend, GET A DOG!
lol... I forgot where that line is from, but I
love it.
Well, I've got to say, after trying many, many
different methods, yours have been the first ones
to work. I cut and pasted your online personal add
and sent it out to a few women on a college-
oriented site. This is after trying
(unsuccessfully) for many months to get any sort
of response from the women on the site. Before
reading the newsletters, I would've typically sent
out about 20 e-mails, and got 1 response if I was
lucky. This time, however, I sent out about 5 or
6, and got 3 replies the next day! Unbelievable!
Now, for the tricky part...getting the number and
the date. I've got some leads, and I want to keep
my C&F attitude up. I'm just normally funny, but
need practice at being cocky. (I'm either too
subtle, or too extreme, so I'm practicing at
finding a middle ground.) But, in the meantime,
what kind of C&F response would you give to a
University-aged woman?
G.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Good job.
There are all kinds of great topics you could
work with.
You could make fun of the classes they're
taking, bust on them for taking easy classes,
accuse them of taking 10 years to get a 4 year
degree... the list is endless.
Since you're going to be meeting these women at
some point, make sure you go and do things with
them that have "built in conversation value." Go
to interesting, fun parts of town with unusual and
interesting shops.
This kind of thing creates all kinds of
opportunity for great comments... and it keeps the
energy up all by itself.
Now that you're meeting women online, do
yourself a big favor and practice your skills
CHATTING with women.
Chatting is great because it slows the
conversation down to about 1/5 the normal speed,
and gives you time to plan out what you're saying.
I'm real sorry but I still cannot figure out how
to build bridges after getting the email address.
Normally the next day I send the lady an email,
she replies and then I can't think what on earth
else to do. My overall goal is to get with her -
so can you help me man?
I.M.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yes, I think I can help.
1. Set up a meeting for tea.
2. Have her stop by your place on the way to tea.
3. Have fun, interesting conversation.
4. Invite her back to your place after tea.
5. Use the Kiss Test.
6. Use your creativity and imagination.
Don't focus too much on "getting with her,"
just focus on getting to THE NEXT STEP.
In other words, when you email - don't say
something like:
"Hi, it was great meeting you. I'm single and
nice, and you seem like you'd make a great
girlfriend for a sweet, desperate loser like
myself."
Stay off of heavy conversation. Don't talk
about relationships and marriage, etc. Just talk
and enjoy yourself. But keep progressing as you
do.
As long as you relax and make each progressive
step easy and natural, you'll be fine.
Again, just take it one step at a time.
If you don't know what the "Kiss Test" is, then
download my online eBook right now, and read about
it:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
Hi David:
I'm 42 and a bald, average, confident guy. After
being recently divorced (Dec/01) after 24 yrs and
thoroughly confused about dating and what women
want. I bought (another dating book) and was even
more scared to do any of what was asked to do. I
bought your course and coupled with watching the
players in clubs I knew C&F was the answer. I
used it successfully on over (9) women since
Jan/02 all resulting in them wanting much, much
more* than I was willing to give. They all call
from time-to-time for fun!
*Here is where I have the problem and it might
help others trying for this type of relationship.
I am single and love my Space and I want to have
fun for a while and eventually marry again I'm
looking for Her and it takes a while to see if she
is Her I get them hooked way too fast and not
trying to do so This is how: Women are attracted
to C&F, They want fun and excitement; I think I
know why they want funny for the fun things to do
in life (too many boring guys out there) and the
cocky part piques their inner flames to what could
happen as far as passion. If when you are
passionate with them you have to be a Leader and
show them as bad a boy as they can handle. This
has in all instances so far lead them to call me
and pursue me: the next day and weeks ahead. They
want a far deeper relationship. They want C&F in
their lives. These are not clingy people (7-9's)
(24-44yrs) and profess to want to be friends
first. Email is great as it has a way of helping
them say things they wished they could say in
person. Do you have any wisdom on how to do C&F
and not hit all of her senses?
Thanks Again for C&F J.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
lol... you poor, poor dear. Sounds tough,
really.
I think you're doing fine. You're on the right
track, and I think that you're going to find an
outstanding woman to have a longer-term
relationship with.
I personally think that the problem isn't the
techniques you're using, it's that you're now
seeing that YOU CAN CHOOSE A WOMAN, rather than
having HER CHOOSE YOU... and it's making you far
more SELECTIVE than you were in the past.
When you're seeing several attractive women at
the same time, you begin to realize that you can
have whatever you want. You no longer have to
settle.
This has the effect of making you a lot pickier
about what you'll tolerate... and it makes you see
negatives a lot more clearly in women.
Again, I think you're doing fine. Just stick
with it and you'll find a great woman to marry
again, if that's what you want.
Hi Dave. I don't think the cocky/funny technique
will work for me. I'm 19 y/o, 5' 3" and 117 lb. I
have an average build, dark hair and blue eyes. I
also have a fetish for girls with big bellies.
What do you think? Be honest.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, if I can get myself to stop laughing,
maybe I can answer you!
OK, let's make sure I have the facts straight
here...
You're five foot three, weigh 117, and LIKE
WOMEN WITH BIG BELLIES?
Honestly, I think you're right... I don't think
that the Cocky & Funny technique will work for
you... in fact
...I DON'T THINK ANYTHING IS GOING TO WORK FOR
YOU.
Make sure you don't tell any of your other guy
friends about this. It might get ugly.
By the way, you may not have considered this,
but women with big bellies usually got them from
eating a lot... and my guess is that they might be
expensive dates.
Watch out.
Dave:
Dated someone for 4 years. Turned into a wussy
boy a couple times, and both times she left me for
the same guy. This guy was a selfish, conceited
jerk, but he was the ONLY guy she's ever dated who
she couldn't wrap around her finger. He was an
impossible challenge... and so her sexual
attraction to him was enormous. (Hmmm...is there
a lesson to be learned here...?) Since we broke up
about a year ago, I've been reading your
newsletters and your ebooks. Now I'M the
challenging one. I don't flatter women with
compliments, I don't buy drinks or flowers, I
split the dinner tab, I don't always call (or call
back) every day, I keep my social life busy and
interesting. And I never ever EVER lose my
composure with a woman - no matter how much I'm
attracted to them. (In truth: I caved to one
woman, told her how attracted I was to her, and
instantly found myself in the "just friends" pit
of no return. Oops. Had to learn the hard way.)
Now every time a woman tries to test my level of
"wussiness" I completely annihilate them with a
cocky+funny comment...and they LOVE me for it.
And...of course...guess who suddenly wants to date
me again...
P.S. Took this off the end of the 1st paragraph
above...it was getting too long, but I love this
perspective from a woman: While investigating this
illogical phenomenon, I asked a somewhat-
attractive female friend of mine "so...can you
shed any light onto the whole 'why women are
attracted to jerks' idea?" And her answer
(quote): "Because we're too leery of a nice guy.
Nice guys creep me out. They seem like I can walk
all over them and I hate that. Women want a bit
of a challenge."
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is truth from the mountain. Read it 100
times a day.
Print it and tape it to your computer monitor.
Put a copy in your wallet... next to the money
so you see it often.
Put one on your car sun visor and mirror.
And go read it again now.
Yes Dave, you are 100% correct. Even us older,
fatter, grayer, slower wusses can learn new
tricks. I went from a 4 time loser to being
called biggest old stud in town! Now that was a
hell of an ego boost! Especially since I'm 48 and
close to 300 lbs. and yes, at the moment, I have
steady dates for 3 days of the week every week and
5 others professing their love for me if only I
will come take them away.
Here are what I found to work:
1) Women over 35 expect you to be extremely
inventive with a cocky funny line or extremely
truthful. They all claim it is because they have
had so many used on them, they are totally immune
to them. I tend to go the extremely truthful
route. the ie. you look like the type of woman who
would like a funny witty, intelligent, romantic
friend. Have you found any lately??? I want to
shake their hand. Or something similar.
2) If you are emailing back and forth and they
want your picture within the first couple of
exchanges, run do not walk, that lady to the
discard pile immediately. Most of those are so
shallow they can not and will not see what they
are doing, no matter how funny and blunt you are.
I even tried the "what's in it for me?" line, only
to get the reply of "me stupid, but only if I like
your picture"
3) When the lady says I don't think I'm really
your type, you look them straight in the eye and
say "ok, plenty more where you came from" and turn
and walk away. 9 out of 10 of them will be
calling you in 48 hours.
4) They all know about arranging dates for the
week and finding the dates on the weekend. So tell
them you only have like Friday, Saturday OR Sunday
open but not all. Most will tell you to rearrange
your week to fit them in. The ones really really
interested will call you on Saturday to see if you
can go out on the spur of the moment.
5) I tell them all I am too much to handle and too
much to love, so being friends is just perfect.
But I have zero experience in this dating more
than one woman thing at a time. Do you have any
advice. Especially since I am sure to make a lot
of mistakes. Yeah, they all want to arrange more
time with me.
So you see, your techniques work. Even my 21 y/o
daughter who reads these occasionally says, "I
can't agree all the way, but damn he sure got the
last 5 guys I dated nailed"
Keep up the good work Dave.
M.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow, more priceless wisdom.
To answer your question, the way to see more
than one woman at a time is to NOT SEE ANY OF THEM
TOO OFTEN.
When you see or talk to a woman more than once
or twice a week, it kicks in the natural
"relationship" emotions and patterns of
communication and behavior.
If you keep things to once a week, and
sometimes twice, you'll tend to avoid this.
It's also good to tell the women that you're
seeing, that you don't think it's a good idea to
get into a relationship too quickly with someone
you just met (I believe this is a very important
idea, myself).
Thanks for the great ideas.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your book...very
enlightening. I've always found myself attracting
girls I'm not romantically interested in, while
crashing and burning with the hotties. It was
very confusing until I read your book. I realize
now that I was a wuss with the hotties by being a
typical "nice guy", and that the more I acted
indifferent with the girls I didn't like, the more
they ate it up. You gave me a new perspective on
what makes attraction work, and I'm glad to see
that your book pointed out that you don't have to
be a jerk to be successful.
My game has improved but it still requires some
refining. Lately I find I'm stalling out between
the first and second date. So I'm wondering if I'm
screwing up the date itself or the follow-through.
Here are the steps I take after a date:
1) I call within two days to say I had a good time
and basically make contact. I end the
conversation first, and let her know I'll give her
a shout in a couple days...just so I don't seem
like I'm rushing into a second date.
2) I let two or three days pass and call to make
arrangements for a second date. At this point I
usually get a vague answer like "lets set
something up for next week"...and then it never
happens.
Where is this falling apart and what kind of
follow- through do you use?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I'm going to have to guess at a few things, but
I'll give it a shot.
From the sounds of it, you need to:
1. Stop with the "I had a good time" type comments
when you call for a follow up. You might
experiment with waiting longer to call... or
waiting less time to call. See what works best
for you. But don't be so "nice."
2. Do more things to make your date feel
ATTRACTION. Use what you've learned to really turn
the dial up. You might test progressing further on
the first date... maybe start getting physical
faster.
3. Make sure you keep her laughing, and keep
busting on her and treating her like a "friend" at
first. Remember the idea of acting like she's your
Bratty Little Sister.
It sounds like you're doing something on those
first dates that's making the women resistant to
seeing you again... you need to figure out what it
is and STOP IT.
On vacation in Mexico, a girl asked me if she was
"super hot" and I said "Yeah, you're alright."
Next thing you know she made it her business to
prove to me how hot she was, including some freaky
dancing, even flashing me, and a little lip
action. Moral: Never give them what they want. I
moved in to kiss a girl a little too early and she
backed away. So I went back to teasing her and on
the next attempt I went straight for the neck,
ears, hands in hair and well you wouldn't believe
it; but it worked that time. Your book has a lot
of very good information, thank you for putting it
together. So here's my question: This girl at my
gym is of those that I've always wanted to talk to
but never really had the chance. She was
bartending the other night and I told her I'd seen
her at the gym. She said "yeah, but I don't make
it in there as much lately." I replied "Yeah, I
can tell, you're really letting yourself go." Then
she gives me a shot and asks me if I'd help her
with her workout." She also said she remembered me
from the gym and I said "So you were checking me
out?" So I get her number, not bad, eh? So I'm in
the bar for another hour with some friends and I
was going to order a drink from her later, but it
might've seemed like I wanted to talk to her
again. She seemed busy and didn't look at me.
Seemingly wuss behavior or she's just busy? Who
knows. That was on Saturday and I called her on
Wednesday, still no reply and today is Friday. I'm
thinking either calling her once more over the
weekend, asking about playing hard to get and if
she just randomly gives out shots, or maybe going
back to her bar in a week or two with some
friends. Again, thank you for all you've done and
thanks in advance for any suggestions.
A.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I'm going to tell you something here, and leave
it to you to figure out why it's important:
YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT RIGHT AFTER YOU GOT HER
NUMBER.
This is SUPER ULTRA EXTRA important... and I
want you to consider it in your mind until you
figure out why.
I got your e-mails for about a month before i
actually bought the books and I regret waiting so
long. I have never been so confident around
women. I stand as a security guard at the entrance
of a retail store and 8's, 9's, and some 10's pass
by me everyday. I used to turn my head and stare
away. Now I know what they want from reading your
book and I can look at them, talk to them, and
bust their balls even without ever meeting them.
I do have a problem though. I took this beautiful
girl out on a first date, the C&F technique worked
so well all night from the movie to the dinner to
the goodnight kiss (tongue included) that we both
definitely wanted a 2nd date. So what's the
problem. She can't stop thinking about me or
leaving me alone. I'm getting 10 text messages a
day from this girl that I really only want to date
a few times. I'm enjoying this bein single dating
around and she wants me to be with her everyday.
How can I slow this down, without losing the C&F
personality?
Thanks Dave.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow, another guy who my heart goes out to.
I need to write a book called "Cut Your Dating
In Half: A guide for guys who are too successful
with my materials."
I think what you need to do is get together
with her and say: "Look, you're acting like we're
married, and you need to cool it. I think you're
great, but I'm not interested in a relationship
right now, so if you want to keep seeing me, then
you're going to need to chill."
I realize that it sounds a little bit harsh,
but it's the truth, and you need to be direct in a
situation like this one...
OK, if you're reading this right now and you're
thinking to yourself, "I really need to get my
dating life handled," then YOU'RE RIGHT.
I couldn't agree with you more.
I can't say that my techniques will absolutely
work for you without question. You're the one that
has to use them...
But I will say that if you get out there and
try them, I think you'll find that they work
better than anything else, and that you'll have
more success than you have now. It took me YEARS
to really figure out what women respond to, and I
really believe that ANY guy can use the material
to attract women.
Depending on just HOW shy or nervous you are,
you might need to get that handled... but once you
start working with the techniques, I think you'll
be VERY pleased with the results...
Get yourself a copy of my ADVANCED DATING
TECHNIQUES DVD/CD program.
It's the ultimate training program for meeting
women... and it will increase your success
DRAMATICALLY.
And the best part is that you DON'T HAVE TO
DECIDE NOW.
Here's my offer to you:
Order my program. There's zero risk.
I'll send it to you (in a plain box, of
course... so it's just our little secret)... to
try for thirty days.
If you like it, keep it... and I'll bill you in
five easy payments. If you don't like it, just
send it back to me... and pay nothing.
I'm serious.
Go here to check out some free samples and get
all the details:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
If you'd like to become an EXPERT in the area
of creating ATTRACTION with women, then go and
download my eBook "Attraction Isn't A Choice"
right now. You can download it now, and be reading
it within minutes. Get it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AttractionBook/
I'll talk to you again soon.
David D.
P.S. You can watch video clips of every one of my
DVD programs, plus read the story of how I learned
to meet women right here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/
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