There's only one question a "Perfect 10" wants to
know when she meets a man. And that is
"Is he Mr. Right?"
To find out how to have her thinking YES when
she meets you, go here now:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/BecomeMrRight/
(This is going to be long, deal.) I am a
recovering wuss. Less than two months ago a 2 year
relationship finally ran itself into the ground.
Knowing what I know now I don't think would have
saved it, but I think it would have been more fun
while it lasted, and I would have gotten out a lot
sooner. Advice to other guys who are in
confusing transitional periods...focus on
yourself. Think about your life, what you're
doing, and where you are going. After being in a
long relationship, you forget what it's like to be
on your own and think about yourself. Being
directed and happy with your own life is the best
thing you can do for your love life. I've started
to "get it" and since the breakup I've been
hitting the gym every day, standing up straighter,
eating better, working harder, getting more
involved with my family, etc. My life is a LOT
busier now than it used to, and it feels great. It
also gives you a much different perspective on
women. This has already been covered quite a bit,
but it's true that this is a cycle. If you have
confidence in your life, women will respond very
positively on you, which gives you more confidence
in your love life. Acting picky (in a smart way)
about women is a self-fulfilling thought!
Now my question. There's a girl I met about 6
months ago while I was still in that other
relationship...she's about a 9 in looks, and she
is the only girl I've ever met who I think might
actually be as smart as I am.
She's very young though, and probably not very
experienced as far as relationships go. When we
first met, we talked for quite a while and it
turned out we share a LOT of obscure interests and
at the time she gave me her email AND phone number
without my asking for it. Somehow that didn't send
up the "she wants you" flag, as I was in dumbass
male wussy boy relationship mode. Well now I've
gotten back in touch with her. Her first response
was very positive, with comments like "I was
afraid you'd forgotten about little old me!" and
such. She also apologized for taking so long to
reply (it was only a few days) since she had been
on vacation. I figured there was never a better
time to try out c&f so I responded with "So what
are you going to do to make it up to me?" I had
never imagined I could be so bold, but it felt SO
right. You are absolutely right when you say that
c&f isn't game playing. It's what deep down inside
we are all supposed to be doing! Well, she
responded almost apologetically with a suggestion
that we could go out and then figure it out, and
she said maybe go to a movie or a particular
museum, or anything...I responded with (and here's
where my question starts) "hmm..sounds
tempting..how about all of the above?" She also
closed that email with "lots of love," Now at
this point, I fought HARD to stave off wussy boy
mode. I was thinking that the "nice" (wussy)
thing to do would be to also close with "lots of
love" or something along those lines. So instead,
I continued to bust on her as I had throughout the
email by responding to it with "hmm...again...lots
sounds tempting but.. how about all?"
Now my question is this. These responses seem
like they might be wussy since they are
"admitting" at least indirectly that I feel
strongly about her and want to spend a lot of time
with her. However, they are a stark contrast to
the "oh yes, lets please go to a movie! I'm the
luckiest moron ever!" and "love," responses. To
generalize further, as long as you take a step
back and say what you want to say for yourself
(because it's what you want) and not what you
think they want to hear, is that good enough? I'm
reminded of the contrast you made between "Can I
take you out to dinner?" and "I'm going out to
dinner, you should join me."
J.M., New Hampshire (Where men are men and sheep
are scared.)
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Dude!
It's NOT cool to write "Where men are men and
sheep are scared" as the tag line after your name.
Stop that.
Now let's have a little talk...
To comment on the first thing that you talked
about, it really is easy to fall into a pattern of
negative behavior when you're in a long
relationship that isn't working.
Sometimes it seems easier to act like a Wuss,
do what your girlfriend/wife wants, and put aside
your own self respect just to avoid conflicts when
a relationship is going bad.
Hell, sometimes it becomes easy to do this even
when a relationship is going WELL if you don't
know any better.
And by the time you finally get OUT of the
relationship you can be left with a negative
outlook, resentment towards your ex (that you
project onto other women), and all kinds of other
baggage.
Oh, and you're right on... when you are in one
of these "transitional" periods, it's a GREAT idea
to focus on yourself, and work on getting your
life together.
Raising your standards, staying busy, improving
all areas of your life... all great ideas.
The idea of becoming more "picky" is also a
winner.
Women are attracted to men who have high
standards.
Now to your question...
You've brought up a distinction that is VERY,
VERY important.
And once you get the hang of making this
distinction, and communicating effectively with
it, you'll notice a MAJOR shift in the way women
respond to you.
You're definitely on the right track, so let's
really get into this issue.
Most men make the mistake of doing and saying a
million little things that, as you say, make it
"seem like they might be wussy since they are
"admitting" at least indirectly that I feel
strongly about her and want to spend a lot of time
with her".
Bingo.
So let's break this down.
Your question to me is basically "Is it "good
enough" that I don't tell a woman what she wants
to hear? And is it OK to let her know, or "admit"
that I'm interested in her?"
You had some kind of confusing, mixed up,
convoluted way of asking these questions... so I
thought I'd do you the favor of making it simple
and understandable.
You can pay me later.
Anyway...
Why would you want to "admit" to a woman this
early on that you are "interested" in her?
Your Inner Wuss is just longing for a way to
express herself... I mean himself... isn't she/he?
And ESPECIALLY with a woman who you described
as a "9 in looks" and "as smart as you"?! (You're
going to want to remember everything I'm telling
you right now in the future... EVERY TIME you meet
a "hot" woman or a "model" you want to date.)
So get with the program, man!
This woman KNOWS that every guy in the world
wants her. She walks through the world ASSUMING
that on a subconscious level.
When you "admit" that you're interested in her,
in all these subtle and cute little ways, you're
just basically making yourself more and more like
all the other guys in the world (in her mind, that
is).
Don't you see?
In her email to you, she said: "I was afraid
you'd forgotten about little old me!" and she also
"apologized for taking so long to reply".
Then you responded by saying "So when are you
going to make it up to me?"...
PERFECT.
She replied by saying, "we could go out and
figure it out then..." and she also suggested a
movie or museum.
Again, DON'T YOU SEE?
What you did WORKED!
It worked, so now you want to do something
ELSE.
Humans love to find things that work, then do
something else as soon as possible.
Here's a little wisdom from the mouth of David
D.
When you find something that works with women,
KEEP DOING IT.
I know, it's profound, isn't it?
You can pay me for that later as well.
Instead of replying, "How about all of the
above", you should have replied with:
"A movie or a museum? Great. Maybe we could
stop and buy some GERITOL on the way. Think of
something more interesting to make it up to me.
And hurry up, because I'm starting to think that
maybe you're not as smart and creative as I had
originally guessed."
And by the way, she also closed her email with
"lots of love"... and you replied with, "hmm...
again... lots sounds tempting but..how about all?"
That's good. Funny.
But try this:
"Lots of love, huh? How sweet. But, you can
stop beating around the bush and admit that you
love me and can't wait to be in the warm glow of
my presence. We're both adults, and you can be
honest with me."
When you say, "how about all?" - it suggests
that it's YOU who wants it... instead of HER who
feels it.
Stop with the secretly trying to let women know
that you're "interested". They know it. The more
you are Cocky & Funny, unpredictable, flirty, and
charming... and the more you never admit to
ANYTHING, the more fascinated and attracted she's
going to feel.
Get rid of the idea that letting her know that
you like her with words is going to be a good
thing early on.
If anything, tell her she's a Brat, that she's
walking on thin ice, and that she'd BETTER watch
her step or else you'll leave her for a rich older
woman who may not look so good but will pay all
your bills and take care of you and will be more
enjoyable to visit museums and movies with - even
if it does mean taking Geritol! You could use a
better education about how to be Cocky & Funny,
which you can also get very quickly right here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/CockyComedy/
Your last question ended with "...is that good
enough?"
Stop trying to be or act "good enough".
"Good enough" usually isn't.
You want to be UNBELIEVABLY good.
You want to behave in a way that causes women
to say "I've never met anyone like you before".
When you start hearing that, you'll know you're
on the right track.
And if you're reading this right now, and you
want to learn the EXACT, step-by-step sequence of
things you need to do to have women saying things
like this to you, then I recommend that you check
out my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.
Let me rant and rave for a minute...
Next time you're down at the bookstore, look
around in the "relationship" section. Also, check
out the "sexuality" section. Flip through some of
the books.
I want you to look at what kind of information
is available to teach you about how to be more
successful with women and dating.
Here's what you'll find:
1) Lot's of books by PhDs and therapists who have
been divorced 47 times...
These people love to talk about all kinds of sweet
and wonderful things like the differences between
men and women, communication, respect, and
honesty...
2) A few that are just rewritten books from the
70s and 80s about how to meet women. I enjoy these
most. They say all kinds of profound things like
"Women don't like pick up lines because they come
across as insincere" or "Women love pick up lines
because they show a fun attitude". Or they give a
detailed explanation of how to tell whether a
woman is flipping her hair because she is
interested in you or because she's mad. It's good
comedy...
3) Three-inch-thick studies of human sexuality. On
page 457 you'll read that only 7% of women report
that they enjoy sex in the "rear entry" position.
That's enough reason to not buy those books right
there, if you ask me. Oh, and make sure you look
at the PICTURES of the guys and gals that WRITE
these particular books. Yeah, this guy knows how
to meet women. His MOM, maybe...
And if you want to waste even more time (but
laugh while you're doing it), go search ONLINE for
products about how to meet women.
This is where the REAL entertainment is.
Before you buy ANYTHING, make sure that they
offer a money-back guarantee (because you'll be
asking for it within 15 minutes of your purchase).
The Internet is the ultimate snake-oil
distribution device. Hell, maybe I should start
selling snake oil online. I'd probably get rich
overnight.
Whatever. I think you feel me.
My point is simply that most of the people who
are writing about this topic either don't teach
ANYTHING about how to meet women and make them
feel the emotion of ATTRACTION for you, or they
teach stuff that's 100 years old (and it didn't
work back then either).
I really, really encourage you to go see for
yourself. An hour in a bookstore will tell you
everything you need to know.
So are my techniques and products any
different?
If so, how? (Hey, I told you I was going to
rant and rave...)
The thing that makes my techniques, products,
and systems different from everything else is:
1) I learned and developed most of it by spending
time watching and learning from many guys who are
"naturally" successful with women, and finding all
the things they have in common. Most of these
things have NEVER even been described before by
ANYONE.
2) I used to be HORRIBLE at meeting women.
Horrible doesn't even describe it well, because I
was so bad that I never even tried! I couldn't
even start a conversation with a woman I didn't
know. I spent literally YEARS trying to unlock the
secrets and discover what worked with women. I
tried just about everything (most of which didn't
work very well). It wasn't until I really started
studying and working with some REALLY successful
guys that I was able to find the things that
worked to meet and date women.
And let me tell you what... when I started to
figure out what REALLY worked with women, I was
SHOCKED. It didn't make sense to me AT ALL. In
fact, I still shake my head when I think about it.
Most guys go their whole lives with entirely
the wrong idea about "what women want". And
because of it, they live in a reality that never
works for them.
Most guys wind up either settling for a woman
that is "the best they can get", or they wind up
alone.
Damn-it! It doesn't have to be this way!
One of the reasons I get so excited is that
I've discovered a lot of the secrets, and I've
spent a lot of time organizing, presenting, and
teaching what I've learned... and I really believe
that I've solved a HUGE puzzle here.
OK, enough of my rants...
I want you to succeed with women. I hope you
can feel it from these newsletters and the way I
talk to you. I also want you to get my Advanced
Dating Techniques program because I honestly
believe that there is no better or faster way to
learn the way.
Go here and check it out:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
...and if you haven't downloaded your copy of
my online eBook "Double Your Dating", then maybe I
haven't yelled at you enough yet. You can download
it and be reading it in literally MINUTES from
right now. Go get it:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
I'll talk to you again soon!
David D.
P.S. I get a lot of questions about how I learned
all this stuff about women and dating, so I took
the time to write my story. If you want to read
it, plus see samples and video clips from all of
my different programs, then check this out:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/
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