If you want to learn how to successfully approach women, then you're going to need to learn both the "inner" game - which is all about overcoming fear and building confidence - and the "outer" game - which is all about having the SKILLS and "lines" for the different situations you'll find yourself in. And where's the best way to learn to MASTER both? Glad you asked, it's right HERE:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/ApproachingWomen/
***QUESTION***
David,
Got your book a few weeks ago. It's brilliant. It's magic. It's a religion. I am impressed. At 30, I've doing better now than in college since I LET myself get wussified over the past few years. I can now, cold-turkey, walk up to just about any woman I want to, and bust her friggin' balls with a straight face and a slight smirk. Their defense shields melt before my eyes. But, alas, I have a question. It seems when I'm meeting women, within an hour or so, I usually end up making out with them or touching them all over...while they kiss and touch me back of course. Getting numbers isn't enough. I want to advance the meeting from the bar or the party straight to the bed-room without all the email and phone call. What is the best way of doing that? Also....after making out with this one lady I met, after meeting her in a parking lot at a liquor store (go figure), she emails me back a week later saying she wants to pursue friendship first and get to know me. It seems I am perhaps being too agressive. How can I be agressive yet sly about it? Any help would be great. I love this stuff!
RC
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, my book is magic? A RELIGION?
I accept the "brilliant" compliment, and I can even allow the "magic" concept...but let's stay away from the religion comments...lol.
To answer your first question, about how to skip all the emails, calling, and "dating" and go straight to the bedroom...
Do two things:
1) Don't focus on "the bedroom." Focus on taking things to the next step...and the next...and the next.
2) As soon as you meet a woman, treat it like you're going on a date together.
Let me explain.
If you meet a girl you really like, spark some major chemistry, start kissing her, etc., you're probably going to get some resistance if you look at her and say "OK, let's leave your friends here and go back to my place so I can SHAG you."
That's just a hunch.
But, if you meet her, spark the attraction, start kissing, and then say..."Hey, come with me", and then take her hand and lead her to another part of the club or bar...or take her to the dance floor...or some combination...and then start kissing again...and then stop (two forward, one back)...and then say, "Hey, I'm going to this other bar, come along with me"...and then once you're there you continue, all the way until closing, when you say, "Hey, let's keep talking.. this is fun. Give me a ride home..."etc., etc., etc....
I think you can see where I'm going with this.
A woman wants to feel that things are developing naturally, not that you are just trying to get her into bed as fast as you can.
If the evening unfolds in a normal, natural way, and you can progress from one level to the next, you'll do very well and go very far.
Why do you lead her to another part of the club, and then take her somewhere else?
Physically leading a woman is VERY powerful, and leaving together/showing up somewhere else together changes things. When you arrive at the new place, even though you're the same two people who just met, you're now TOGETHER at the new place.
And when you suggest continuing to talk, and her giving you a ride home (or some variation), it's not like saying "Come shag me." You're making it clear that you want to spend time with her, and it leaves the possibility of ANYTHING happening open.
And as for the girl you met in the parking lot who emailed you a week later saying "Let's pursue a friendship first", what she was probably REALLY saying is:
"I can't believe that I made out with you after meeting you in a parking lot of a liquor store. I'm not like that. So let's get together sometime on a more casual basis, and if you DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID WHEN WE FIRST MET I'LL PROBABLY WIND UP MAKING OUT WITH YOU AGAIN."
Think about it.
***QUESTION***
Dave, I just recently read your e-book so I am still working on techniques but I can say I am a 30 something, short, spare tire, receding hair line guy (I think girls would say I'm cute though) who, until a few weeks ago (when I read your book), was still falling into the `just friends' category way too many times. Since then, I've cut off 3 `friends' and started working on myself, i.e. joined a gym, cleaned up my apartment, and am working on my wardrobe. 2 weekends ago, I was making out with a cute 22 yr. old, with a catwalk model body in my apartment using the 2 step forward, 1 back technique (my roommate came in or it may have gone further). It was actually pretty easy because I didn't really care one way or the other if it happened. My problem is I have another girl that I don't think I've crossed into the `friend' realm just yet, but I can't seem to advance to the next level. We run with the same set of friends and I took her out for her birthday once so we're somewhere between bridge #2 and #5. We email and talk on the phone quite a bit and I can keep the conversations short and reasonably C&F (our friends tell me she thinks I'm mysterious), but I can't get it to go anywhere physically. I hinted at going out on a date one time last week in an email and she responded to everything in the email but that. My response has been to stop answering her emails and calls, she sent an email today that just said `where are you?'. (she is actually calling my cell phone now as I write this).
My question is this, do I run like hell (in which case I hope I could get some suggestions on making an easy break since we have the same friends), or work on my seduction techniques with her. If the latter, I would greatly appreciate some tips on crossing the next bridge. M
P.S. I've read some of the other stuff out there and yours is one of the few that shows guys how to get the upper hand in a respectful manner. Thanks.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Try this...
Don't talk to her for a few days.
Then, call her up and say "What are you doing RIGHT NOW?...I think you should come over and hang out with me."
Call on a Saturday or Sunday around noon.
If she comes over, immediately LEAVE after she arrives.
Go have a cup of tea, do some window shopping, and DON'T cling to her, look at her too much, or act like you are feeling attracted to her. Lean back. Tease her a lot. Tell her how she's screwing up her chances with you, etc.
Finally, once you get back to your place, proceed with The Kiss Test...and you'll be fine from there.
You need to relax. Don't run like hell, and don't get so hung up on this one girl.
We guys always want the one we can't have... and it's a problem. Stay on track improving yourself, meeting other women, etc. That's the way.
***QUESTION***
One question, how would you change your self- image?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
and then
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/DeepInnerGame/
...a short question deserves a short, direct answer.
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
You are the man!! I'll try to make this short and sweet. I work at club/bar here in FL so I meet plenty of beautiful women. I have to tell you that the cocky and funny routine works wonders for me. I have been doing it for years but never knew exactly what I was doing right until I read your newsletter. My situation goes like this: after work the bartenders and a couple managers always stay after for drinks. We usually just share stories about drunk customers or talk about how the night was. Since I work the front door at this club, I always have a story or two about girls willing do just about anything to get in there or girls wanting to take me home after. Now there is this bartender that I work with that I like and been pouring extra c&f her way, and she eats it up. We went out to breakfast after work this past saturday, and one thing that bothered me was that when we were talking over breakfast, she said "before this, I thought you were a player and a little bit of a whore." I was in a bit of shock but reacted nicely by saying "of course YOU would think that, and that is exactly why I dont date bartenders, you guys are too judgmental" she hit me in the arm, but had the biggest smile on her face. When I took her back to her car, we ended up kissing for a bit. This is all great and everything, but my question to you is, am I being too cocky and funny here or was she just testing me with that comment she made??? G, in sunny Florida
>>>MY COMMENTS:
AHHHH!
You're doing EXACTLY the right thing.
Don't doubt yourself.
The fact that she hit you, and had the big smile tells the whole story.
You (and many other guys) must get over the idea that just because a woman knows you date a lot of other women doesn't mean that she won't like you.
This doesn't make a lot of sense, but women are often MOST attracted to PLAYERS.
It makes you MORE attractive when you have a lot of women that want you...not less.
You're fine. Keep it up!
***QUESTION***
I thought these letters of success were promotional B.S. But.....
A few months ago I was introduced to this really hot lady and I said all the "nice to meet you" stuff to and she seemed to be annoyed at my existence. Well I crawled away in disgrace and was told she had no interest in me. Read some of your stuff and ran into her a few weeks later and started talking your language to her. I mentioned to her that I might have taken an interest if she exercised once and a while and picked up some fashion tips. Well, that worked especially well because she is a health and beauty pro to boot. I kept it up and no kidding, SHE asked me out!
And by the way, I kept it up on our date and she couldn't leave me alone, Amazing.
R.D. in CA.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, ye of little faith.
You thought these newsletters full of success stories were just "promotional B.S."?
Well, they're promotional, that's the damn truth.
But they're not B.S.
Every letter I print in these newsletters is real...every single one of them...from day one.
And probably 99% of them are unedited as well (sometimes a letter is just too long, or unclear, or the writer doesn't speak English well, so I'll edit for clarity, but this is very rare).
By the way, I realize that the things I teach sound a little bit bizarre. Believe me, it took me a couple of years of hard work just to figure this stuff out...and a lot of it doesn't exactly make "logical" sense.
But, all you have to do is start using it to see that it works. Good job...you're doing the right thing!
***SUCCESS STORY***
Just a quick story. Once again you were right on with advice!! I changed my online profile with a popular dating service and have gotten four emails after the new profile was up only 1 hour!! What did I change? I made it short and funny. Here is the typical response I got: "Your profile really made me laugh. You have a great sense of humor. That's refreshing. I have a hard time finding guys who are truly funny. There's not shortage of guys who THINK they're funny, but it's nice to see some of you are still out there. I'm attaching my profile. I'm 37, never married (yeah I know..means there must be something wrong) and like to laugh and have a good time. If you don't respond, I'll just have to go back to collecting cats and being the neighborhood spinster. ha ha. I hope to hear from you." As you would say Dave, "Love it"! You are the man!!! E. Chicago
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Nice!
Yes, this stuff works online just as well as in person...sometimes even better.
You might remember the one newsletter several months ago where the guy took some of the stuff from my Advanced Series and copied it word-for- word to create an online personal ad, and then wound up getting all kinds of emails from women saying "Come over to my house and have sex with me...you're turning me on." LOL...
When you're Cocky & Funny online, it really triggers a FUN, witty, sassy part of women...and they love it.
By the way, if you're reading this right now and you want results like this online, go and read THIS right now:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/MeetingWomenOnline/
***QUESTION***
David,
Even though you claim not to be an expert when it comes to relationships, I'd appreciate if you would give me some input on my little situation. I've been seeing this girl for for about a month now but I don't seem to be able to get to the next level. There is no question that she likes me since she keeps calling and suggesting to do things together. However, she insists on bringing up that she's gotten hurt in the past which apparently makes it hard for her to trust guys. According to me that is pretty damn dumb; we've all been hurt, haven't we. GET OVER IT! Anyway, my question to you is, how do I earn her trust? Are there any shortcuts? Help me out here palsky... J, PA,
>>>MY COMMENTS:
My guess: You're probably acting like a WUSSY with her, and she doesn't feel any ATTRACTION for you.
She's probably hanging in there, hoping that SOME kind of feelings will develop for you...but it's not working.
Look, when a woman says:
"I only like you as a friend"
...or...
"I've been hurt, so I want to take this slow"
...or...
"I like you so much, I don't want to lose you as a friend"
...or any of the million variations of these things, it USUALLY means that you're not doing the things it takes to create ATTRACTION.
She doesn't FEEL IT for you.
And if she doesn't FEEL IT, then there ARE NO shortcuts, my man.
Stop being such a "nice" guy, and start doing the things you're learning from me to spark some CHEMISTRY!
Oh, and don't call me "palsky."
And no, "palmeister" isn't any better.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey Dave,
Just wanted you to know how your program changed my life. I'm 45, 5'8" and weigh 179 lbs. I met this beautiful 29 yr. old 6'2" 9.5 model. It's amazing how just using your "let's be friends, if nothing else" technique worked like a charm on this very beautiful girl. After I invited her to see me at a local Starbucks Cafe I immediately started busting on her over her height. We were sitting down drinking some coffee when I grabbed her had gently and told her to kneel down on the floor so I could have eye contact and tell her something important. She went along my C&F attitude. Then I told her "who know, you might make a good friend but please get off up the floor and stop proposing to me". "Your making me feel really uncomfortable in front of all these people and besides that I'm not an easy catch". That did it from there, it just blew her mind out. She just started laughing and couldn't stop. We been dating ever since. I left a lot of details out because this story would be too long Your cost for your program is like a dime in a bucket, when you realize that you get so much more in return.
Thanks Dave, J.C. Puerto Rico
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, well, if you've now attracted a 6'2" model, then maybe you should send me more money. I'm open to the idea.
Seriously, great job. You really get it.
It's so amazing when you take something like a woman's natural height (which she usually gets compliments on) and turn it around on her...and use it to tease her.
If you're talking to a supermodel and you say "You know, just because you're beautiful and are used to being treated like a sex object doesn't mean that you can treat ME like one"...it's magic. (Not quite a religion, but it is magic.)
It's great to hear that the material is working in Puerto Rico. You have some major hot babes there (and if J Lo is any indication, they've got some serious BACK down there as well).
Nice!
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
I would not like to sound like the other 1 million (+,- 100,000) of your followers but your stuff really is excellent. I got your eBook few months ago and keep reading newsletters. What I have realized, for me the problem is not that I don't know what to do, but I rather can't do it. Some serious self-esteem issues which don't let me to get the maximum out of c&f. I know exactly what I need to do - practise!!!! but I just can't get my nerv up. I do keep improving but slowly. Can't just walk to any girl I like and ask for the info. Not right now. It's simple only when I'm drunk and clubbing. Then I really don't care what happens, just have fun and surprisingly the girls are very friendly. Of course only when I haven't got too drunk:)
Anyway I've got a question. Sometimes I set up a date online with a girl I just started to talk and propose to meet in 2 hours. Well, this has happened and turned out pretty well. Then we get to some pub. And what I really don't like is to buy her a drink. Its ok to buy tea her but I wouldn't like to have tea lets say friday or saturday night at 9. I can afford buying her tea but not drinks. I mean I'm a poor-ass student. It's kind of wierd to order drinks and take care of the bill and then tell her e.g. "everybody pays for his/hers drink", "you owe me 3.75." I do this all the time with my friends. But feel wierd to do it with a girl. Afterall it was me who invited her, I ordered the booz. Any c&f solutions to solve the situation?
A, from Estonia where women are gorgeous, there are lots of them and the only sheep is the president
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, no comments on the political humor...but I like the way you think.
After I'm finished checking out the 6'2" models in Puerto Rico, I'll have to stop by your neck of the woods...
I have a few brainstorms for you...to help you avoid buying drinks at the pub:
1) Keep your Friday and Saturday nights free. Go out with your friends on those nights, and just avoid dates. I have many friends that follow this rule, and it works very well for them.
2) Make a lot of friends at the pubs, bars, etc. that are in your area. Invite the bar tenders, doormen, etc. to parties that you hear about... bring them gifts...and just generally figure out how to get in their good graces. In other words, become the guy that NEVER pays for drinks in the first place, because they're GIVEN to you.
3) Lead. Don't do things you don't want to do. Only go to places YOU want to go to. Women will respect you and what you want if you just lead.
***QUESTION***
Hi David!
It's incredible, your stuff works universally, worldwide. Yes, it does. I stumbled across your website when I was searching the internet some months ago. First off, there is nothing like this available in German. I thought it would be a good idea to deal with your material since I study American English among other subjects. Learning two things at the same time ;-). Hell, I was such a shy, desperate, depressed 'wussy' (didn't find that word in 3 dictionaries). I really needed to get this thing handled...Last night I went to a dance club with one of my best friends who is very good with women. I was having a great time and all of a sudden, there was a girl who asked me if I would go frequently to this club. She said she would have noticed me if I had been there before. That's when the game started. I was saying and doing things I NEVER would have said or done before. I was making fun of her and teasing all night. I made up a story that I was a Swiss guy who evaluates the girls and the premises for a snobbish swiss scene-magazine. It was obvious that I was making fun but later she said she almost believed me. We had a lot of fun when we were describing how our dreamgirl/dreamboy would be like. I teased her about her 'exorbitant expectations' and guessed her age about 38 (she's 22). After some close dancing, she said she needed to sit down for a while because her feet were aching. I said I don't massage sweaty feet and she would need to find somebody else for that job. She called me a jerk and pinched me more than once ;). Then she kissed me. The kissing and touching became hotter and hotter during the night. She seemed to know everybody in the club. All the time there were people coming giving comments and grinning. She made me acquaint with a VERY beautiful waitress at the bar who is her best friend. I asked her to write down her email-address and she said I was the first guy ever who asked her about her email and not her phone-number ;-). She gave me her two numbers and her email of course. More than that, she was actually BEGGING ME to call her!! At 5 they began to shut the club, she pulled me in a corner and I heard people saying 'they bite each other'. Then, she invited me to her apartment, added that the waitress from the bar would sleep there as well and asked me if I would mind. And she said she was so tired she could only play the passive part...It was CRYSTAL CLEAR what she wanted from me. I said I would call her and after ten more minutes she eventually let me go.
And here comes my big problem. It sounds unbelievable but I'm, ahem...I am still a virgin. Yes, it's true. You wouldn't believe it if you see me. I'm 21 years old and pretty good looking, I have to say. I did and do a lot of sports and I think nobody in my environment would assume that I'm a virgin. I don't know how this could happen. Well, I did a little research in some German internet newsgroups and forums. It seems that for most women, this condition is not very pleasant, to put it mildly. It's a big turn-off. They must think you're a bloody loser and something can't be right with you if you haven't managed to do it at that age. And that's unlikely that you can give pleasure if you are that inexperienced. It means more work with you than fun. In the best case, they judge it neutrally. And to come back to the first part of the message, I don't know what to do when we come together the next time. Tell her, not tell her? I believe she wouldn't believe me or think I'm dishonest if I tell her right off. At least she would notice at some point...I don't know what to do. Have you an answer? Please include this in your next newsletter. Help is greatly appreciated. D from Germany
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First, you're doing GREAT. Nice job.
You probably read the newsletter that I sent out a while back...where I addressed this.
To summarize:
Don't worry about it.
The FEELINGS that you're giving her will FAR MORE than make up for any lack of experience on your part.
If you're with her, making out, and you stop to say "You know, I don't have any experience in this area" you're probably just going to kill the vibe.
Don't worry about it!
Just keep going...you're going to be fine.
By the way, I love your "I'm a Swiss guy who evaluates the girls and the premises for a snobbish swiss scene-magazine" line. Brilliant.
Also, love the guessing that she was 38 when she was obviously in her early 20s. Great stuff.
***SUCCESS STORY***
What's up dave? I've emailed ya before so I won't get into the "How Great Thou Art" speech..lol Got your series, and of course it's Da Bomb! I just wanna share a success story. Well right now I have 3 "project" women, so to speak. They all say they "want" me, in more ways than one..hehe thanks to your teachings I have the confidence to get any woman I want, I can be choosey. I love it, it's like a cool Jedi Mind Trick. Anyways on the the story, I was talkin to a girl I'm considering meeting (met her on the internet, she contacted me first cause of my C+F personality). She brought up the topic of goin out and she said, "so when are you taking me out?", and I said (your gonna love this), "I think the real question is when are you taking ME out?". She said "I could do that". Then I go on to bustin on her about how she better not take me to McDonalds and the dollar theater, cause you hafta wine and dine me a little..lol Later on into the convo she said sometime about how the conversation was making her so hot and bothered. So I go on busting on her about tryin to have phone sex with me and that I'm not that easy..wow, she was lovin it. She begged me to come over and well..finish her..hehe. Of course I turned her down and told her, we would pick up where she left off sometime later in the week..cause you gotta give them the gift of missing you. Your stuff rocks!!! I have more women who want me than I have time for. I play in 3 bands so my time is limited and gives me an excuse to not call or not be available all the time. BUY DAVE'S SERIES, IT ROCKS!!!!
-jedi in training in ohio
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, I love the shameless marketing you're doing for me here....nice.
By the way, you mentioned something here that is just great...when a woman brings up sex on the telephone, it's GREAT to make fun of her and tell her to stop trying to have phone sex with you. It says all the right things.
And turning it around when a woman says "So when are you taking me out"...and asking her in return is also a wonderful comeback.
Thanks again for the comments...when a guy who plays in 3 bands says that my stuff ROCKS, it must be true.
***SUCCESS STORY***
dave,
Great stuff...after slipping a bit in my late 20's with the ladies, your e-book and cd's have helped me recapture what had made me successful - c+f... even though I didn't know what it was called or the science behind it, my past success was always based on this attitude, as I am naturally funny. Quick success from the other night: I am with a few friends at a hot place on the sunset strip and we see two hotties. One is a 9, the other an 8.5. I see they are getting their dinner check and tell the waitress to give them a message - "You've been checking us out all night (not true, incidentally) and you should probably buy us a round before you leave." They look totally confused when they get the message. The waitress returns and says the hotties think we should pick up their dinner tab. So, I pull out a business card and write "If you think we're the type of guys who go for gold-digging, you're sadly mistaken. I think you owe us an apology and a round of drinks." Well they get this, nearly keel over laughing, and within minutes were seated at our table. I never let up, busting her balls the whole time before announcing in the middle of the laugh fest that I needed to leave. They were shocked and asked me to stay. I declined, saying that I wasn't going to put out on the "first date" and their begging was making me uncomfortable. I left, digits from the 9 in hand. This stuff works and I recommend it to everyone one of my guy friends.
thanks, c in hollywood
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is one of my FAVORITES!
One of the best Cocky & Funny themes is "reverse gender stereotypes."
If a woman says, "Give me your number" and you say, "Look, I'm not that easy...don't think that just because I give you my number that I'm going to go out with you or sleep with you"...
Or if you're talking to a woman at a bar, and the conversation is going well, you say "OK, let's just cut to the chase...are you going to offer to buy me a drink or what?"...
Attractive women INSTANTLY connect with the humor because you're turning around situations that they have happen ALL THE TIME...and making something funny out of them.
Of course, you're also adding a Cocky element...the element of "You want me, it's obvious."
Incidentally, if you'd like to get a TON of great Cocky & Funny themes and lines for specific situations, then you really should check out my "Cocky Comedy" program. There are many different "roles" you can play with women that REALLY spike up the ATTRACTION...and I'll teach you all about them in this program. You can go check it out here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/CockyComedy/
I'm glad you mentioned that the Advanced series have helped you recapture what made you successful in the past.
I think a lot of guys have had times in their lives when they were successful with women...but for whatever reason they have lost their old "mojo." Maybe it was a marriage that went bad... maybe a girlfriend that eventually turned them into a Wuss Bag...whatever.
I get a lot of emails from guys who USED to be good with women, but have been out of practice for so long that they might as well be starting over.
If you fit in this category, or you're just getting started and you want to get off on the right foot, then I recommend you check out my eBook "Double Your Dating", and then my Advanced Dating Techniques program.
No kidding, this stuff has taken me several years to learn, test, refine, and explain clearly. If you want the best material available for meeting and dating women, this is it.
The Advanced program includes over 12 full hours of digitally recorded and edited footage of me teaching LIVE.
Go watch some great video clips of the program here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
My downloadable online eBook comes with three free bonus booklets, and it's the foundation for everything I teach in these newsletters. Get it here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. Take a few minutes and look through all of the programs I've created to help you learn how to approach and meet women...and get dates. You can see them all, plus watch great video clips right here:
