A reader emailed me about how she caught her husband watching porn instead of being intimate with her. Whether or not you’re in a similar situation, you’ll want to know how to fix (or avoid) something like this. Check out her email and my response below. Check Out The Passion Patch ⇐ Intimacy And Arousal In Less Than 30 Seconds GET THE TOUCH YOU CRAVE “Dear Susan, I don’t feel like I turn my husband on, and he needs porn to get aroused. This causes my anxiety to go sky-high. Knowing he’s watching porn makes me feel unwanted. I’m in a Facebook group, and many women feel like I do. I have to give him attention. He’s not lovey-dovey. If we cuddle on the couch, he’s on his phone while we watch TV. I always do all the work to give attention or affection. His porn-watching makes me feel insecure. Do you have any advice? Love.” ㅡ Carol (name changed for privacy) =========================== Dear Carol, There are two pieces to your puzzle: First, you want more physical touch, affection, and attention from your husband. The second is that you feel he’s watching porn as a replacement for the two of you getting turned on by each other. What I want you to know is that in his mind, his porn viewing has very little to do with his relationship with you. Most men compartmentalize their porn consumption from their interactions with their partners. If you were in your husband’s body, you’d wake up horny every day and want sex. An easy way to keep your sperm fresh and topped off and receive the pressure would be to masturbate to porn. It’s efficient and provides the release that many guys need. When you think that watching porn is stealing sexy time from you, you have what is called “a fixed pie mentality.” This is the opposite of an “abundance mindset.” Instead, let him watch his porn but ask him to up his game in your intimate relationship. You want full-body touch, affection, and attention. What does that look like? How do you want him to touch you? When? What kind of love do you want? If your guy had a clear idea of what you crave, he could do a better job providing it. He’s a man. In a man’s body. With a man’s hormones. He has almost no idea what makes YOU feel good. You have to teach, show, tell, demonstrate, and ask him for specific things you want. Over time, as he practices, please give him a lot of accolades and appreciation. Men desire to fulfill and satisfy us. They want to do a great job and want to be winners. If you challenge him to step up, he will. But you have to be very appreciative of his efforts, so he keeps getting better. There are certain places on any woman that, when touched, really turn her on. Touch another woman in those same places, and it just doesn’t do it for her. My ebook, The Passion Patch: One Place To Touch Her To Arouse Her in 30 Seconds Flat, is an excellent resource for your husband to find your spots and most erogenous zones. AROUSE HER IN SECONDS You can buy it for him. It’s only $7, but I ask that you DO NOT READ IT. If you read it, you take away the delight of allowing him to discover your particular spot. This is a fun couples’ experience. Allow him to take control. And reward him greatly for every touch. Your intimacy will blossom with communication and asking for what you want. Click Here For The Passion Patch ⇐ One Of The Best Intimacy Starters Around Get Closer, Susan Susan Bratton, "Intimacy Expert to Millions," is a champion and advocate for all those who desire lifelong intimacy and passion. She’s created hundreds of techniques that transform having sex into making love and is the world’s most well-respected sexual biohacker. Susan is a best-selling author and publisher of 44 books and programs on lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills, such as Sexual Soulmates, Relationship Magic, Revive Her Drive, The Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection, Ravish Him, Dirty Talk, The Pump Guide and Thrust In Time. Susan is co-founder and CEO of two companies: Personal Life Media, Inc., a publisher of heart-connected lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills and sexual regenerative therapies, and The20, LLC., a manufacturer of DESIRE libido botanical multivitamin/mineral complex and blood FLOW Nitric Oxide Booster™️ supplements and her new DESIRE sexual energy bars. You can follow her shares @SusanBratton on Instagram and her FREE OnlyFans @SusanBratton. Susan frequently appears on ABC, CBS, The CW, and NBC and is the #1 downloaded sexpert on hundreds of podcasts and summits. P.S. One final comment on men’s porn consumption. Some men overuse porn. They end up watching more and more hardcore porn to get erect and ejaculate. They stop being interested in “real” women. I don’t think this is your issue since you said that you are sexually active together. Anyone reading this who feels they might have a porn addiction, visit the NoFap website for porn recovery support. Check Out The Passion Patch ⇐ Intimacy And Arousal In Less Than 30 Seconds |
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