I love to read books for you. And in Dr. Marty Klein's book, Sexual Intelligence: What We REALLY Want From Sex and How To Get It, he outlines needs we have beyond just being sexy and knowing techniques. He says, "For some people, reassurance, validation, and relief are the real payoffs of sex."
I often encourage men, especially, to be reassuring to their partners. (They love it too, ladies!)
Being run by estrogen makes us naturally more anxious. So reassurance increases his masculine sexual leadership.
Reassurance generates more polarity - the magnetism between masculine and feminine energy - which increases sexual desire.
It is also essential to validate your partner as a good lover by recognizing things they do well when you're intimate. We like to hear that we've done an excellent job. It builds confidence.
Verbal affirmations are as important to men as they are to women. If a partner has intimacy issues, they need validation that you still find them desirable. They need to know they are wanted.
If a partner wants to try something new or a little kinky, validating their desire helps them enjoy the experience more. Dr. Klein says we need to have a sense we are "normal."
When you encourage, reassure and validate your partner that they are loved, appreciated, attractive, and desirable, it relieves them from worry, lowers their stress, and increases their pleasure potential.
Now, before you go and say sweet words of appreciation to your partner, I'd love for you to take a look at this week's emails. They are also about getting out of your comfort zone to step into new worlds of intimacy, passion, as well as personal and relationship growth.
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