"One of the most important articles I've ever written in my 15 years of being a trusted sex advisor." Happy New Year, dear Jmonty1945@gmail.com Recently a woman asked, "Are there resources for men on how to better initiate touch? I've tried talking to my husband about a lead up to the "boob-grab" or a peck not counting as a connection. But he gets defensive, and anything in the moment makes him feel schooled. How does a man learn how to touch/ caresses a woman (not just in ways that lead to sex, necessarily)?" SHE KNOWS Others chimed in, "I've tried having a conversation about romance and gentle touching without the anticipation of sex, but more often than not, he takes it as direct criticism and feels hurt or sulks. It's really taken its toll on intimate relations. While I desire it, I've come to feel it's a people-pleasing thing rather than when both sides want it. I loved the boob grab comment, as that's a fairly common issue, I think. I did jokingly tell him it wasn't an on/off switch." "I am utterly shocked at how little some men know about women. Baffling." "This is one of the many reasons I am single. Seriously." "I explained it in man-terms to my lug head, not that he gets it yet, but we are working on it. When we first got married, I was a microwave. Turn me on quick, and I heat right up. After the kids were born, I was more like an oven – pick the right temp and the time, make sure the racks are in order, etc. Now, 14 years after the last babies were born, I am like his beloved charcoal grill. Do you want to eat at 6? You better get her ready at 4, stack the charcoal, stoke the flames. Using terms that he understood made a difference. And honestly, I am very vocal in what works and what doesn't and reward generously for what does!" "And at my age, you had better start early in the morning to get ready for that meal. You need to start thawing out that meat. HAHAHAHAHA" This is not meant to gang up on men in any way. They are just generally more "goal-oriented" and full-speed-ahead than their ladies. Yet, many women feel they make all the effort around touch in their relationship. This is such a common theme among women that I want to call your attention to one of the most important articles I've ever written in my 15 years of being a trusted sex advisor. It's about the eight ways to pleasure a woman's lady parts. It's called The 8 Kinds of Genital Touch For Women. Scroll down for the link. I hope you'll read it, along with all of the other articles we created for you this week. There is a need for more understanding of touch techniques. I'd love to hear your refinements and comments on this article. Happy New Year, Susan Susan Bratton, Intimacy Wellness Expert, is a champion and advocate for all those who desire lifelong intimacy and passion. She is the best-selling author and publisher of 34 books and programs on lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills such as Sexual Soulmates, Relationship Magic, Revive Her Drive, The Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection, Hormone Balancing, The Pump Guide and Thrust In Time. You can find The Susan Bratton Show™ on YouTube at BetterLover.com, her more personal posts @susanbratton on Instagram, and her new sexual vitality supplements, FLOW, BOOST, DESIRE, and DRIVE at The20store.com |
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