| Couples get stuck in a monotonous routine in the bedroom for many reasons, most of them quite familiar and predictable. If your sex life has become hum-drum, you're not alone. Few couples escape the slow decline of that characteristic, sizzling, hot attraction of a new relationship. What distinguishes couples who get that sizzle back and grow it into a priceless resource that enhances every part of life is also predictable. They do whatever it takes to get out of the well-worn groove they have fallen into to get each other off. 
GET THE GROOVE BACK In a previous article, I made a case for Erotic Playdates. In a nutshell, I urge you to schedule (yes, I mean put on your calendar) a particular time for a "learning date." This is a night to stay in rather than go out. Erotic Playdates set up an intentional context for you and your lover to explore uncharted sexual territory without the subtle pressure to perform because, hey, you're learning. It's all about experimentation and discovery—a mode that you agree ahead of time to switch into together. Check Out These 21 Erotic Play Dates ⇐ Fun Ideas For More Intimate Lovemaking I am an expert in this area. If you've heard my story, you'll know that my husband and I almost got divorced because we lost the sizzle. We nearly gave up everything we'd spent a decade building because we lost our way sexually. Ultimately, we made a conscious choice to find our way back and meet each other's deepest desires. We went to sex workshops, seminars, and training. Some of the workshops were EDGY as hell. But that edge softened as we learned to open up to each other and trust our newfound ability to talk about the hard stuff (and I'm not talking erections, although that is certainly a worthy topic of discussion over a romantic dinner). We learned to trust our bodies, follow our pleasure rather than push for it, move through learning curves and not give up if we didn't get it right the first time, laugh and cry and scream; we even learned when to let it rest if we got tired. Now we've been together for over 25 years, and the sex keeps getting better. 
THE HOT SEX CONTINUES In no small measure, I attribute our success to Erotic Playdates. The intentional context allowed us to rekindle our desire (well, in truth, it was my desire that needed rekindling). The context of play allowed us to fan the flames of what has become a great sex life. We did this with the guidance of our friend and mentor, Dr. Patti Taylor. We were so impressed with Dr. Patti's life-changing work that we asked her to author a book on her method. The result was our most popular home study guide, Expand Her Orgasm Tonight, which details 21 super-fun Erotic Playdates, what she terms Sandbox Dates. Don't worry because these suggestions are not too EDGY. It's important to start small and build your sensual repertoire before you enter overtly sexual terrain. 
21 EROTIC PLAY DATES The right attitude that is key for an Erotic Playdate is to have a BEGINNER'S MIND. I really, really want you to hear this: an attitude of openness, curiosity, and eagerness, plus the ability to let go of preconceptions when learning something new, is the key to eventually developing mastery in any arena. This is especially true when it comes to sex. Too often, I hear someone say, "I already know how to do this." When, in fact, they don't. Men's egos are especially a problem. It's not the man's fault. They protect themselves by thinking they already know things that they don't truly put into practice. "I already know making sounds in the bedroom amplifies my woman's pleasure." Yeah, well... are you moaning? Are you growling? Are you panting in lust for her? Or are you tight-lipped and serious, trying too hard to "make her come?" Think about it. Bring that animal out to play next time you make love. If both of you adopt this "begin-as-a-beginner" attitude together, the terrain you can explore is endless. Imagine having a connection with your lover that starts fresh... every time. Lovemaking is different and exciting every time. Something delicious and beautiful happens between you that has never happened before… every time. No more ordering from the same old menu. You're lovemaking connoisseurs. 
OH YEAH! YOU'RE SATISFIED As a man, you will walk around with a special kind of confidence because you know you can give your woman more pleasure than she's ever experienced before. Instead of just asking for sex, you create mind-blowing experiences your woman will never forget. This is POWERFUL. What makes this shift so powerful? It may shock you to hear this: women love it when a man takes command. Notice I said command, not demand. Someone who commands respect has a certain irresistible quality... call it charisma, confidence, assurance, even certainty… that naturally gives rise to respect. We admire someone who commands respect. Someone who demands respect... well, let's say that person is dreaming. Demanding respect engenders its opposite: disdain. It's just plain bad manners. Respect has to be earned. We admire the men who have this distinction. And a woman who admires her man is more grounded emotionally, less stressed, and more appreciative of the many wonders he can share with her about her body. 
WONDERFUL SEX! So think about getting your hands on the 21 Erotic Play Dates to start learning one simple new technique or practice today. Will you try The Clock Method? The Start/Stop Game? Or will you learn to Touch for Rapture? Now, put a date on the calendar, and you'll have something sensual to anticipate. Be A Player,
Suz  Susan Bratton, Intimacy Wellness Expert, is a champion and advocate for all those who desire lifelong intimacy and passion. She is the best-selling author and publisher of 34 books and programs on lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills such as Sexual Soulmates, Relationship Magic, Revive Her Drive, The Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection, Hormone Balancing, The Pump Guide and Thrust In Time. You can find The Susan Bratton Show™ on YouTube at BetterLover.com, her more personal posts @susanbratton on Instagram, and her new sexual vitality supplements, FLOW, BOOST, DESIRE, and DRIVE at The20store.com
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Susan Bratton
Dr. Patti Taylor
Sloane Fox
Tallulah Sulis
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