If you'd like to hear the story of how I went from not even being able to start a conversation with women... to the point where I can meet any woman in any situation... then take a minute and check this out:
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***DATING QUESTION FROM READER***
Dave,
WOW!!!! That's all I can say. I've been getting your emails for several months and have since downloaded your book. I've committed myself to improving my "skills" with women and the results have been amazing. The "Crash and Burn" that most guys are sooo fearful of NEVER happens and very rarely does a girl give you anything but a smile even if she isn't interested. My latest success was so easy it was almost scary. I met a woman (an 8.5 at least) in a local bar and used the c/f to get her number and set up a date. Went out on the date and it was almost like it was scripted. Pushed the c/f to the extreme all night, teased her, drove her completely crazy and left her house at 5:00 am the next morning. Here's the thing, using this material, you will very often hear, "Oh... I can't believe I'm doing this.. I never do this kind of thing." Usually I laugh hysterically inside, and respond with the heart felt, "Oh I know, don't worry about it." The problem is with this girl it was different. First, even using your vast knowledge, I didn't expect to be able to get this far with this girl on the first date. She had that intangible "it" that really attracted me to her and I actually don't think that under normal circumstances she would have taken a guy home but.... most guys don't have the benefit of the "David DeAngelo Jedi Mind Tricks" either (lol). Anyway this was Saturday and I called her Monday just to say hi. She was soooo nervous and uncomfortable she could barely complete a sentence. Obviously with everything that happened, I think she was a bit embarrassed and, that's to be expected, but now I'm not sure how to handle this situation. I'm afraid now that if I'm not REALLY careful that I'll screw up a chance with a great woman. I get the feeling that she needs a little reassurance that this wasn't just a one night stand, but I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do or if it is, how to do it without coming off like a WUSS BAG! I think this girl could be worth some effort......... PLEASE HELP!!!
Thanks for everything, JH Monroe LA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a great story, and your story illustrates all kinds of interesting things. I'd like to comment on a few of them before I actually answer your question.
The first thing I'd like to comment on is this illogical progression of how you went from meeting this girl to being intimate so fast.
To begin with, you acted Cocky & Funny, and teased her... "to the extreme", which somehow resulted in her spending the night with you.
Now, at first glance, this makes absolutely no sense at all... I mean, why would a woman who is obviously very attractive and "in demand" want to get physical with a guy that isn't buying her things, giving her compliments, and generally kissing her ass all night long?
The answer, of course, is that ATTRACTIVE WOMEN DON'T ACTUALLY WANT A GUY TO DO THESE WUSSY THINGS IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Unfortunately for most guys, our cultures, religions, and mothers have programmed us to be "nice guys" when we're around women we feel attracted to.
This does two things:
1. Hands all of your power over to the woman.
2. DESTROYS any ATTRACTION that might be present.
Again, I know it's illogical, but attractive women have AMAZING gut level emotional ATTRACTION responses to men who CHALLENGE them and who act UNPREDICTABLE in a particular way.
Part of creating this illogical and desirable response is knowing how to use arrogance and humor together in a formula I call "Cocky & Funny" (which you obviously get).
Of course, there's a lot more to it, but the key is that you have to STOP DOING WHAT ISN'T WORKING... namely, being a NICE WUSSY BOY.
If you're reading this right now, and you're one of those guys who thinks that women are attracted to "nice guys", then think again, and read THIS:
The second thing I'd like to comment on is when she said:
"Oh... I can't believe I'm doing this... I never do this kind of thing."
I've talked to a lot of guys who are VERY successful with women about this particular phenomenon, and they all say similar things.
It seems that whenever a woman is going to get "physical" quickly, they have to rationalize it "out loud" first.
Sometimes a woman will say "I'm not like this" or something similar to slow things down and try to explain away what's happening.
Don't let it bother you.
Of course, if a woman says, "stop" or she actually tries to stop you from kissing her (or anything else), then you need to STOP immediately. I'm not suggesting at all that you don't respect a woman's wishes.
But, you also need to understand that just because a woman is SAYING that "she doesn't usually do things like this", that it doesn't mean she doesn't WANT to.
The final point I'd like to comment on before answering your question, is this response that she had when you called her back. You mentioned that she was so nervous and uncomfortable that she couldn't complete a sentence.
I have seen this exact same thing, and I have several friends who have told me stories just like this.
It seems to me that when an attractive woman who is used to being the one in control meets a guy who is super confident, Cocky & Funny, unpredictable, and NOT EASILY CONTROLLED, it freaks her out.
Sometimes she literally doesn't know what to do, and she doesn't know how to act. Often, she will be self-conscious about the fact that she "got physical" so soon, or about some other thing... but it really comes down to the fact that she just doesn't know how to deal with you.
This is a great place to be, and don't let it bother you when it happens.
And now, to answer your question... of how to handle this situation.
First of all, don't start acting TOO DIFFERENTLY.
If you start acting all nice and lovey, you'll come across in a way that will be confusing... and it will probably make her run.
If you want this to turn into something more, then you need to be cool and calm about EVERYTHING that happens.
If she seems nervous, just relax and make a joke about it.
With attractive women, it's always a good idea to "lean back" and give her space.
As a rule of thumb, call her half as much as you would normally call a woman, and see her half as much... at least for the first few weeks.
GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU.
And if you're going to be "nice", then BE VERY CAREFUL AND DON'T DO TOO MUCH TOO SOON!
When the average guy meets a really attractive woman that is "different" from the others... one that he wants to have a relationship with... he usually starts doing too much. He buys gifts, calls all the time, and gives lots of compliments.
As you know, this is SUPER SIZE WUSS BOY behavior, and it usually results in the woman running away.
In other words, you must not let her nervous state affect YOUR state or YOUR behavior.
KEEP DOING WHAT WORKS.
...and if you're reading this right now and thinking to yourself "You know, I need to learn this stuff about how to meet and attract women... and how to take things to a physical level fast", then YOU'RE RIGHT!
I think that every man should invest in himself, and learn this skill.
Unfortunately, most guys never take the time and invest in themselves... and they wind up going their whole lives WISHING that they could attract the kinds of women that they want.
Well, I used to be one of the guys who didn't know what he was doing with women. Now I'm one of the guys who can go out anytime, in any situation and attract women.
What's the difference?
I TOOK THE TIME TO LEARN.
And if you'd like to learn, then I recommend you learn the things that I learned FIRST.
It's taken me a long time to figure all this stuff out, and it's also taken a lot of time, effort, and energy on my part to put it all down on paper and on video... so that any guy can learn from the things I've discovered.
I'd like to personally invite you to check out my materials. In a matter of hours, you can learn things that it took me YEARS to figure out... all from the comfort and privacy of your own home.
If you'd like to learn more about sex and sexuality, then you MUST check out my "Power Sexuality" video program.
Inside this program, you will learn how to build an incredible SEXUAL CONFIDENCE that will not only make women feel more ATTRACTION for you... but it will also help you take things to a "physical level" much more smoothly and easily.
You can watch this entire program right now, in a high-quality streaming video format. It's also risk-free... so if you're not happy with the results, you get your money back.
Read about it, and see some free samples here:
If you're having challenges building up your "Inner Game", and overcoming fears... then you should also check out my Deep Inner Game video program.
This is the ultimate "tool box" for fixing those challenging Inner Game issues... and you can only get it here:
And if you're reading this right now, and you haven't downloaded your copy of my eBook Double Your Dating, then WHAT'S KEEPING YOU? You can get it now, and be reading it within minutes. Go and download it here:
Susan Bratton
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