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According to my mentor, Dr. Helen Fisher, anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of "The Anatomy of Love," "Why We Love," and "Why Him, Why Her," our personalities are composed of two basic types of traits: character traits developed through life experience and temperament traits, 50% of which stem from our biology.
Traits of temperament are heritable, relatively stable across your life course and linked to specific genes, hormones and/or neurotransmitter systems. She sampled 28,000 people to come up with these four personality types: Explorers, Builders, Directors, and Negotiators.
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ARE YOU A NEGOTIATOR?
Let me catch you up.
Here are the three previous Sexual Personality Types: (I can't wait to hear which one you are and why!)
Explorer
Builder
Director
Now, let's go to the fourth Sexual Personality: The Negotiator
Though this article is for everyone across the gender spectrum, I've taken one idea - the concept of giving a woman lingerie - and offered you a few ideas for each sexual personality type.
If you're a man who thinks he's a Negotiator, I'd like you to reply to this email and tell me what kind of sexual ideas appeal to you.
If you're a woman, reply to me if you're a Negotiator and refine these ideas or give me others that would appeal to you. Tell me if you'd like your guy to do any of these for you (and definitely tell your guy you'd like to have fun like this if you would! He is probably a different Sexual Personality Type and would love to know what you'd like more.)
Is your lady more of an extrovert? Is she talkative and intuitive around people? Does she remember emotional experiences? Then, she's a Negotiator.
• She's most likely to enjoy a string bikini party with some of her friends. Invite your closest, sex-positive friends over. Put on a throbbing playlist and light some candles, then choose your favorite game. Girls on one side; boys on the other. The winners get to choose whether they or the losers get to wear the bikinis.
• If it's just the two of you, get her a little tipsy. Then with her permission, blindfold her, strip her down, put the string bikini on her, and as you're rubbing your hands all over her, whisper in her ear three things you think are the sexiest about her in the string bikini.
For example, "I love that there's a tiny little itty-bitty strip of fabric that barely covers anything. I get to see your whole body even though you're technically wearing clothing. It's tantalizing." "I love that you're willing to be my sexy little wife. You're not a prude. You're a fun, sensual woman." "I love when you dress up in an outfit like this. It's a signal to me that you want to play. That you are ready for some fun, sexy time together."
Remember to reply to me if you have a refinement, a new idea or a tweak. I'm interested.
I would really love it if you spent some time reading the articles I sent you over the week. Each of them was written with your relationship and sensuality in mind.
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