| "He should know by now how much that upsets me."
"Why can't he try to figure it out? Why do I always have to tell him?"
"She can't take a hint."
"If he really loved me, he'd know what I mean."
Do you expect your partner to read your mind?
This strategy is doomed to fail, according to Carolyn N. Bushong, author of The 7 Dumbest Relationship Mistakes.
It's unfair to your partner and to yourself because you will continually be angry that you don't get what you want.
You will begin to feel like you are not really loved. And all because you are not communicating.
Carolyn warns that because women generally talk about their feelings more easily, they need to make sure they give their guys time to respond instead of steamrolling over them.
Here are her suggested Four Steps To Healthy Communication.
1. Express yourself. "I feel [a specific emotion] whenever you [specify exactly what he or she does]."
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2. State what you want. "I want [a specific behavior]."
3. Ask for a commitment. "Will you [give me what I want - be even more specific]?"
4. Outline the consequences of your mate's reluctance or refusal to commit themselves to change: "If not, I will [state specifically what you will do]."
If this feels like you're issuing an ultimatum, just be careful that you are not threatening and are even-handed in your emotions.
It's important to make it clear that you are holding yourself and your partner accountable for their behavior. Eliminating the fear of the unknown removes a significant amount of stress between you two.
Give this a try and make sure you don't miss all seven of the mistakes even smart people make to ruin their relationship.
One of my most favorite things to do to initiate intimacy and warmth with your partner is with the Soulmate Embrace. This special kind of way of holding your partner is the perfect way to put both of you in the mood for understanding, presence, and openness.
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I'd also love for you to check out Relationship Magic. It's one of my most foundational books on communication techniques to creating love and intimacy in your relationship, or re-sparking lost the romance.
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Free Intimacy,
Susan
Susan Bratton, "Trusted Hot Sex Advisor To Millions" of lovers who crave lifelong intimacy and passion. As the Dear Abby of Sex, she has helped create and revive countless sex lives with her bestselling books and programs such as Relationship Magic, Sexual Soulmates, The Passion Patch, Revive Her Drive and her Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection.
For more insider tips, follow her on Instagram and subscribe to her Better Lover YouTube channel.
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Susan Bratton
Dr. Patti Taylor
Sloane Fox
Tallulah Sulis
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