| Have you heard that old saying, "You're putting the cart before the horse?" That means doing things in the wrong order.
Over the many years I've been helping singles and couples improve their relationships and intimate lives, I've found going back to the foundation of the relationship and building on a solid base is what helps couples get on an upward pleasure spiral.
Take Katherine for example... She wants a passionate relationship but talks about 22 years of resentment that has piled up. Scroll down for her story and my advice.
Click Here For Relationship Magic ⇐ Why Treating Your Partner How You Want To Be Treated Is Actually Making Things Worse
MAKE IT WORK
"Dear Susan,
I received the email about your special sale on your Steamy Sex Ed® video collection. I'm willing to try it even though I'm not sure my marriage is going to make it. There is so much hurt and resentment looming over us. We've been married 22 years.
Anyhow what I have seen thus far with all your videos I was able to watch, well they are incredible!! You're a class act Ms. Susan Bratton!!! P.S. you're husband is adorable too!
Many blessings!" - Katherine (not her real name)
When you've been together for 22 years of hurt and resentment, no amount of passionate lovemaking is going to make it better.
The problem lies in something deeper. I'm talking about your core values.
When a person's core relationship values aren't satisfied, they will try to seek it somewhere else, or try to force it from their partner by acting negatively. Neither of these actions will solve the root problem.
That's why for you, I believe it's better for you to start with the foundations of your marriage than trying to first fix your sex life. The best place to start is by doing the Relationship Magic exercise.
Doing this lets you both discover each other's core relationship values. You'll know what your partner truly wants in your relationship, and vice versa.
You're probably not going to end up having the same values. Don't worry, most couples only match on one of four values. It's not that you have to be aligned. You have to know how to treat your partner so they feel the feelings they need to feel to be happy with you... and for them to do the same for you.
When you have this kind of clarity that having a simple list of what your partner wants and vice versa, it gets much easier to please and satisfy each other's needs. There will no longer be any guessing. No more mystery.
Relationship Magic also puts you both in a "commitment" mode, as both of you have agreed to open up and get vulnerable with each other. Thus multiplying the chances of your relationship working out.
If you can get your spouse to do this worksheet with you, it will work 1,568% faster to repair your marriage and get you back to emotionally-positive sex. Just a joke, but it really is the first step in this situation - making it clear what you both want and operating from that plan going forward. THEN you can follow my heart-connected sex techniques on the Steamy Sex Ed® video collection and have a renaissance in your sex life together.
Click Here For Relationship Magic ⇐ Why Treating Your Partner How You Want To Be Treated Is Actually Making Things Worse
Keep Love Burning,
Susan
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Susan Bratton
Dr. Patti Taylor
Sloane Fox
Tallulah Sulis
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