Q. I'm considering investing in your program, but I have a question for you before I do.
Essentially, I'm no longer looking to hook up with women left and right. In fact, I think I've met "the one," but I'm having trouble making her realize this.
I've been pursuing her for about five months(during part of which time she was away at school, but we kept in regular contact, at first through e-mail and, later, over the phone), and I get the sense that she's very guarded about relationships. She's *very* goal oriented (which is one of the many things I love about her, BTW), and therefore very busy, and - I suspect - she's been burned in the past, relationship wise.
At any rate, on a couple of occasions, it felt to me as if things were moving forward, and then she backpedaled; perhaps she got spooked, and took a big step back to protect herself. Most recently, we were out for the first time since she finished school, and - insofar as I was able to determine, I was getting the green light all night:
At a movie, I slipped my arm around her and she leaned in, resting her head on my shoulder; later, we were at a club for a band, and when we were ready to leave, she reached across the table and held my hand for a while; on the way back to the car, it was pretty chilly, and when she complained about the chill, I stepped over and hugged her.
She responded by stepping into it: she pressed her face hard into my shoulder, and stepped into full body to body contact - hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder and everything in between. When we got back to her place, I moved to kiss her and she shied away such that it would have been extremely awkward for me to actually do so.
At any rate, we've gotten together since (in fact, I offered to cook dinner for her, and she somehow maneuvered it around such that I was *her* guest, and she cooked for me) and we talked a while.
As I said above, I think she got a little spooked. She specifically said that she thought the relationship could've evolved into something romantic, but that it hasn't, and she wasn't sure why. At this moment, she says she doesn't believe it will.
We remain very close friends, but I still believe she's the one, and I've told her that I'm still going to pursue this, and she's keen on still spending time together (for her, for now, as close friends).
My question is this: do you believe your program can aid me in turning her around on this? If so,why?
Thanks,
B.
A. OK, B., you may want to sit down for this... Hold on to something tight, because I'm going to yell at you for your own good... YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
This woman actually likes you, and you are messing it up by acting like a needy wuss bag!
If you were closer, I'd slap you myself.
Whew. Let me calm myself. I don't usually get so worked up. That makes three exclamation marks in one email... OK, I'm calm. NOW, let's have a little talk here...
The reason why this kind of situation bothers me is at least twofold:
- Because I've been in it myself about a bazillion and a half times, and it sucks to be screwing something up and not even realize that you're doing it.
- I can tell from your email that you actually like this girl A LOT, and that she's probably a fantastic woman... and I hate to see you working so hard against yourself and screwing things up when it's right there in front of you for the taking.
Before I tell you all the reasons why you most definitely should invest in my Advanced Dating Techniques program, let me give you a few pointers that might help you STOP screwing this up in the meantime.
OK, back to the basics. Let's take this from the top... for my man B. and everyone who feels his pain, here come those 4 tips for keeping a woman's attention...
Tip #1: Learn That ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE
At the very beginning of your email, B., you said something that basically telegraphed exactly what was going on here...
You said "I think I've met "the one," but I'm having trouble making her realize this. I've been pursuing her for about five months..." You're having trouble making her realize this?
You've been pursuing her? Do you assume that at some point within the next five months that she's going to wake up one day and feel a powerful attraction for you because you like to chase her around and tell her how you feel about her?
Look, man... the reason why she's telling you that she "doesn't know why it hasn't evolved into something romantic" is that she doesn't FEEL IT.
She doesn't feel it. Get it? SHE DOESN'T FEEL IT.
She doesn't feel ATTRACTION for you. And you can't convince her to feel it by chasing her around and telling her how you "feel" about her. Attraction, as I always say, ISN'T A CHOICE.
You need to go and get yourself an in-depth education on the topic of creating Attraction. Go read my new online eBook Attraction Isn't A Choice.
This book will take you "behind the scenes" and show you how to communicate with women in a way that triggers the attraction... instead of trying to be a "nice guy" and convince her to feel it for you.
You can get it right now, right on your computer, and be reading it within a few minutes.
Now, you're acting like most guys who think things like: "If she only knew how I felt about her, she'd feel the same way" and "If I keep pursuing her, she'll eventually see how much I love her," etc.
Well guess what?
AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN. Right now you are playing what is referred to as a losing game. Think of it this way. If you stop on the way home from work every day and buy a lottery ticket, you'll win once in awhile. Hell, you might even be lucky one day and win big.
But your chances stink. You're probably going to lose a lot more than you win over time. Like I said, you could win big. There is a chance. But you probably won't.
And I mean probably with a big P.
So, onto Tip #2...
Tip #2: Stop Being A Wussy
I refer to the way that you're acting as "Being a Wussy" (that's the technical term... made it up myself). When you act like a Wussy, you do things like:
- Pursue
- Cling
- Share "feelings"
- Act submissive
- Seek approval
- Pine away
All of this is WUSSY behavior. It's distinctly feminine in nature. When guys act like this, they're getting in touch with their inner little girl (and she needs a spanking in the worst way).
And are you ready for the worst, worst part?
When you act like this around a woman (and especially a "goal oriented" woman who's probably smart and powerful like yours) they cannot feel the emotion of attraction towards you.
Women aren't attracted to Wussies. This is a UNIVERSAL truth. And by the way that you describe your relationship with this woman, she really wants to be attracted to you!
She's trying, man. And she probably knows that you'd be a great guy to be in a relationship with... but she just doesn't feel it... so she holds back. I'm sure she wishes that she could be attracted to you. I'll bet you money.
Look, you need to stop acting like a nice friend guy Wuss immediately if you want this to turn into something. And right after that, here's what you need to do next:
Tip #3: Learn What Really WORKS With A Woman
Okay B., you have to realize by now that you're probably beyond help with this particular woman, but I'm going to give you a few "quick tips" about what REALLY works with a woman for the next time.
Here they are:
- Stop calling women all the time, and stop spending so much time with them
- Start dating other women IMMEDIATELY, and make sure the others know about it
- Stop being all lovey with a woman, and don't tell her how you "feel about her" anymore
- Accept that you will probably be friends with women like this last one, and once you get that you're "just friends" start acting that way and move on
- Don't try to kiss a woman until you genuinely understand what you're doing
Remember, what you're doing right now ISN'T WORKING. But, if you do these things that I've described, you will probably have the best chance of turning yourself around. But to do it, you'll need the most important tip of all...
Tip #4: Get The Help You Need To SUCCEED
Now listen close, B., and everyone else reading this right now: the biggest thing that you all need to do is what B. asked me about in his email... and that's getting the help you need to succeed with all of this.
Guys desperately need a new perspective on this entire situation. And you need a new perspective on women.
B., for example, is obviously a smart guy, and once he begins to understand how attraction really works for women, he'll change how he behaves completely.
I'm talking about total transformation.
And the fastest, easiest, most SUCCESS-GUARANTEED way for ANY guy to make it happen is to watch my ADVANCED DATING TECHNIQUES PROGRAM as soon as humanly possible.
Once you do, here's the best part: You won't be learning to change how you act and just faking it. You'll change how you act because now you get it.
Listen... it's really fantastic to HELP a woman feel that magical attraction for you that she really wants to feel. And it's also amazing to know exactly how to "move in" without having to deal with the awkward "shy away from the kiss" situation that you described in your email.
I guarantee that when you watch my Advanced Dating Techniques program instantly online, it will forever change how you think about and act around women.
Period, end of story.
Now, I had to learn all of this stuff the hard way. I've been right where you are many, many, many times in my life. It sucks. I know it does.
The reason why my program will be good for you is because it was good FOR ME FIRST. I teach the things that I know (from my own life-changing experiences) REALLY WORK.
OK, enough of me trying to convince you of something you already know. Now it's time to see what I'm talking about for yourself.
It's time to repeat after me:
"I WILL DO WHAT IT TAKES TO NEVER ACT LIKE A WUSSY AGAIN!"
Bottom line: If you want to make your dating life a whole lot better and easier, then stop and think about your behavior... and resolve right now to do whatever it takes to stop acting like a WUSS for the rest of your life.
You see, being "nice" and "accommodating" and "understanding" is great for friendships and social relationships, but it's HORRIBLE for ATTRACTION.
An interesting, attractive woman doesn't want a guy that she can push around. She doesn't want a guy who does what she wants him to do. She doesn't want a little boy that she can train and raise.
An interesting, attractive woman wants a MAN.
Now I've explained some of the important qualities that you need to cultivate in yourself if you want to attract women... and keep them attracted. Now get out there and start working on it.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your friend,
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