Meeting Women With "Personal Ads"
NOTE: I'd like to teach you the direct method of
communication with women called Body Language...
that will get a woman to notice you, feel attraction
for you, and even APPROACH you. Find out more
here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/BodyLanguage/
Dave:
On your audio series, you talk about getting past
the fluff and "talk to that other part of the
woman" How do you do that? I answer ads on the
personals, and I keep thinking that my dialogue
with these women is all wrong.
I know you gotta be C&F, but sometimes there's not
much to go on from an online profile. Here's an
example from a girl that lives in my neighborhood:
"I'd like to eventually settle down with someone
that I can look to as a best friend and that I can
laugh with. I enjoy traveling, working out, yoga,
music, and dining out in NYC. I am playful and fun
and have a lot to offer the right man. I believe
that the best relationships are based on
friendship. I am genuine, kind and compassionate
and I am looking for the same in a man.
My ideal match is the kind of guy that isn't
afraid of being himself. He knows what he wants
and goes for it. He is confident, not cocky. He is
a person of good character, high morals and loyal.
He is thoughtful, considerate and knows how to
treat a lady. Last but not least, my ideal man is
attractive with a good sense of humor".
I can't think of anything cocky to say to
this...or how to communicate that I'm a sexually
aware man. I'm not really sure what you mean by
sexually aware anyway, unless you mean sexually
successful...like when you know you're hot and
women want you.
So, can you help me understand how you'd respond
to an ad like this?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, first of all, I recommend that you go back
through the CD Audio Program, and pay attention to
the workbook that came with it.
I actually included a sample "cut and paste"
type of answer for personal ads that works very
well.
In fact, when I originally published it in one
of these dating tips newsletters, I had literally
dozens and dozens of guys from all around the
world who wrote in saying that they cut and pasted
it and sent it out in response to women's personal
ads... and had fabulous response.
Now, let me address a few of your comments...
To summarize what I think about your situation,
I'd say that you probably need to keep reviewing
the material that you have, and keep practicing.
If you have little experience with women, then
you have almost no frame of reference for what I'm
talking about in general. Until you start DOING
more, you just won't "get it" as well.
As far as responding to a woman's online
personal ad...
Remember, women who run personal ads are
getting TONS of responses.
If you're going to play the personals, stay
current with them, and contact women as soon as
they place their ad. This way you'll be one of the
first to start a conversation with her... as
opposed to the 497th guy. At some point, the
hundreds of men who are responding to a woman's
personal ad all run together into a big lump of
desperate men. So, be first if you can.
Secondly, forget about trying to respond to a
woman's personal ad by reading it, thinking about
it, considering what she's looking for, and then
responding in a way that she will find
interesting.
No no no!
The ad you sent above could have been written
by any woman in any part of the world... it might
as well be a generic ad template for women.
The one thing this ad DOESN'T mention (and the
one thing that NO female personal ads EVER
mention) is what makes this woman feel ATTRACTION
for a man.
Think about it for a minute...
This woman sat down one night at her computer,
and said to herself:
"I'm tired of the dating game. Maybe if I put a
personal ad online and describe the kind of guy
I'm looking for, Prince Charming will find me and
we'll live happily ever after."
Can't you just FEEL it in her words?
"I'd like to eventually settle down with someone
that I can look to as a best friend and that I can
laugh with..."
"I believe that the best relationships are based
on friendship..."
And the whole last paragraph is priceless...
"My ideal match is the kind of guy that isn't
afraid of being himself. He knows what he wants
and goes for it. He is confident, not cocky. He is
a person of good character, high morals and loyal.
He is thoughtful, considerate and knows how to
treat a lady. Last but not least, my ideal man is
attractive with a good sense of humor..."
So what do most guys do when they read an ad
like this one?
Of course... they write back something like:
"Hi, I'm a nice attractive SWM who has a sense of
humor, high morals, is honest, and also believes
that a good friendship is the foundation for a
great relationship."
UGH!
Someone bring me a bucket, because I'm gonna
PUKE.
Look... when a woman is writing a PERSONAL ad,
she's usually at a point in her life where she's
lonely... and has often lost hope of finding a
long-term companion in the real world.
OF COURSE she's going to write all this sappy
stuff.
But that doesn't change ANYTHING about what is
going to get her attention and make her feel
ATTRACTION.
Again, my gut tells me that you're trying to
figure out how to answer this kind of personal ad
with a WUSSY response that will make her love you.
Don't.
And to address your question of how to
communicate that you're a confident, sexually
aware man...
You do this by NOT trying to please her, saying
what she wants to hear, and kissing up to her.
It sounds to me like you need to spend more
time studying the materials you have, practicing
your Cocky & Funny skills, and making your
personality more interesting... and less time
chasing women who are looking for an open, honest,
Yoga-loving husband via the personal ads.
Use the materials you have!
Practice!
Get online with an instant messaging service
and work on your Cocky & Funny. Copy and paste the
personal ad response in your Advanced CD Series
and use it to answer personal ads.
Until you're REALLY good at engineering, quit
trying to reinvent the wheel.
Dave:
I've noticed that on your newsletters or e-book
you haven't commented on hypnotic language which
some guys use to seduce women. Is it worth
looking into or is it more work than its worth?
What is your opinion on this subject? I know that
with your vast amount of knowledge, you have a
worthwhile opinion in this area.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I've tried all this stuff... and, in fact, I
know quite a bit about the topic of "hypnosis." I
was fascinated by it several years ago... and, for
certain things, it seems to be of great use.
But, if you try it, you'll find just as I did
that it's a very INDIRECT way to accomplish your
objective. It's very abnormal and it feels
sneaky.
Once you understand that you can actually cause
women to feel ATTRACTION for you by just
cultivating certain natural personality traits,
like confidence and humor, all else becomes
irrelevant.
I know a lot of guys who are successful with
women, and the general consensus is that you MUST
get your inner game together FIRST. You must
understand how and why women are attracted to men
FIRST. Then, you must cultivate the ability to
make women feel that ATTRACTION for you with just
your communication and body language.
Once you learn this skill, you can use ANYTHING
and it will work.
In other words, once you're good at meeting
women, you can use juggling fire to meet women...
and it will work.
But, if you DON'T "get it" and understand what
makes women feel ATTRACTION for men, then no
amount of tricks, hypnosis, or standing on your
head is going to make a damn bit of difference.
I don't think that most guys want to have to
"seduce" women. I think that most guys want women
to feel ATTRACTION for them.
Here's a definition for "seduction":
"The act of seducing; enticement to wrong doing;
specifically, the offense of inducing a woman to
consent to unlawful sexual intercourse, by
enticements which overcome her scruples; the wrong
or crime of persuading a woman to surrender her
chastity."
Techniques to "seduce" women make your stomach
feel strange... because they're usually dishonest
or sneaky.
And techniques to seduce women that involve
using things like hypnosis and other covert mind-
control not only make your stomach turn when you
use them, but they also don't WORK as well as the
things I'm teaching you.
To my mate, Dave. The main question I want to ask
is in regards to going out by myself. I walk
inside a club or a bar and I always get asked the
same old question .."Who are you here with". I
typically answer by myself. This causes
uncertainty and I feel that I am telling the lady
'Ohh, well I am lonely' (Note that the same
happens with guys & mind you, I am straight). The
answer, by myself is honest but triggers a
negative outcome, so what do I say?
For some silly reason I get the impression that
the other person is thinking to themselves, "ohh,
the poor thing".
I tend to prefer to go out by myself since there
are times that I have to do extra favours and more
things to get accepted with my mates and also they
are a lot of times when they act just plain
negative which as an old Greek proverb says "Show
me your mates so I can see who you are" (if you
know what I mean). So, for the last few years I
have made a stance that I will do things
independently and work out things by myself and
that I don't need others. Note that this can
become an extremely long story so I will get back
to the topic.
One very bad thought I have, is if a women sees a
guy approach her by himself, she automatically
thinks, ok, this guy has no social life, he is
lonely and he must be desperate, so quickly what
do I do to turn him off. Look, your advice on the
CD does help but I personally think that a lot of
this stuff takes time and effort and should not be
looked as a quick aspirin cure.
PLEASE!!!! tell me the following questions:- - If
a guy or a girl asks me "who am I here with" what
is a good answer? - Is it natural for a guy to go
out by himself? (i.e are there other guys who do
the same?)
Awaiting your response.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow, these are great questions...
I think you've hit on a couple of topics that
are MAJOR issues for a lot of men.
I know that they were for me in the not-too-
distant past.
OK, to answer your question about what to do if
a woman asks, "Who are you here with?"...
It's time for Dr. Dave, The Mind Reading Dating
Psychologist, to make an appearance...
I'm going to make a few guesses about what's
going through your mind.
Hell, since I'm making some guesses, let's just
wrap up both of your questions into one:
"Is it cool to go out alone, and what should I
do if I'm out alone and a woman asks me who I'm
with?"
My first guess is that you're feeling self-
conscious about the idea of being alone.
You said:
"One very bad thought I have is if a woman sees a
guy approach her by himself, she automatically
thinks, ok, this guy has no social life, he is
lonely and he must be desperate, so quickly, what
do I do to turn him off?"
It's obvious that you have all kinds of
insecurity issues here, and they're really messing
with your mind.
The next guess I have is that you're still
stuck in the mind set of "pleasing women" and
"saying what they want to hear".
At some level, you're asking me what to say to
a woman who DISAPPROVES of the idea that you're
out alone.
Are you with me here?
Here are a few pointers for you:
1) What other people think of you is the last
thing you should be thinking about.
Now, don't take this to mean that you should
never change your underwear or brush your teeth
because it doesn't matter what others think.
That's not what I'm saying.
What I AM saying is that if you go out alone,
and you meet a woman who thinks you're a TOTAL
LOSER for not being out with friends, it shouldn't
matter to you.
You're not looking for THAT woman.
2) Going out alone is great.
I used to be VERY uptight about the idea of
going out alone. It took me quite awhile before I
was really comfortable with the idea.
And when women would ask me about it, I'd try
to figure out some good excuse to give them... or
way to explain it so I didn't appear to be a
loser.
Well guess what I've learned since?
Most of the guys I know who are AMAZING with
women go out alone... often.
In fact, if you really think about it, a guy
who has the confidence to go out alone, KNOWING
that he's going to meet a woman that he enjoys...
and is keeping his options open, so if he chooses
to go home with her, etc. he can... is amazing.
That takes balls.
3) When a woman asks you "Who are you here with?",
you have a few basic options.
- You can answer her directly ("I'm here alone") -
You can lie ("My friends will be here soon") - You
can turn the question around (read on).
Now, if you answer directly and say, "I'm here
alone" in a weak, tentative, self conscious,
insecure voice, you're going to look like a Wuss
Bag loser.
Women aren't attracted to men who feel like
losers.
And answering questions directly is usually
uninteresting.
You can also lie.
A lot of guys lie about things... from what
they do to what they think of a woman... to how
much they make.
Lying is a trap because it makes you feel bad,
AND it screws up your mind. I don't recommend it.
But there is another way!
And it's my favorite (of course).
TURN THE QUESTION AROUND.
If you remember that women are CONSTANTLY
testing you when you interact with them, and you
are always looking for places and ways to
demonstrate your Cocky & Funny wit, you'll see
incredible opportunity in situations like this.
She asks, "Who are you here with?"
You answer, "I'm here with you."
Seeeee?
She smiles, laughs a little and says, "OK,
seriously... who are you here with?"
You answer, "Look, I only know you a few
minutes and already you're trying to meet my
friends? By the end of the week you're going to be
over at my mom's house talking about our wedding.
Slow down!"
Now what's going on here?
What you're subtly saying is, "It doesn't
matter who I'm here with... and by the way, If I
am here by myself, I'm not at all insecure about
it..."
Guys ask me all the time how to deal with
questions and challenges from women.
DON'T.
You don't have to.
Just be charming, funny, and difficult.
It works much better, and it's a hell of a lot
more fun for you and her.
Hey Dave you are right the C & F seem to work but
I wanna ask you something...how often are you
supposed to be c & f? I mean, are yu supposed to
sprinkle it in during a normal convo or should yu
use it moderately or at every single thing she
says? I ask b/c id like to hold a normal convo
also & in your opinion wat would be best? Im
interested in your opinion on this.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
The more you use it, the more you'll get a feel
for how much to use Cocky & Funny.
Use it a LOT in the beginning, on the first
outing for a cup of tea, during the first dates,
etc.
The exception is if you don't have a lot of
time, and you want to get a woman's number/email
fast. In that case, use the 3 minute technique I
talk about in Double Your Dating, and as described
in a past newsletter that you've probably read. In
those cases, it takes too much time.
Also, as you get to know a woman, you'll have
more and more "normal" conversations...
Never stop being Cocky & Funny, unpredictable,
etc.
But you can ease up a little as you get to know
a woman better.
Use it... and you'll get it.
You are absolutely, positively the man.... I
always thought to myself, there should be more
literature on the subject of "Meeting Beautiful
Chicks." Your ebook is the answer...You can go to
a bookstore and get all types of how-to books on
things that exist in the physical world, i.e.,
fixing a car, etc. But never about things that
exist in the mental world, at least not for the
things that matter such as picking up chicks....
Like I said before your ebook is the answer! I
suggest anyone reading this email that has not
picked up at least the ebook, to DO IT NOW!! Its
worth it dude.... Trust me...
Since reading the ebook and making minimal changes
in my game... I have been able to consistently
pick up at least one chick per week, but I need
the advanced series to really get my game on
point... I think that will assist with picking up
the 9's and 10's... not just the 6's and 7's. I'll
be picking that up next week to move to the next
level!!
In the meantime here's my reflection and a
question that should be helpful to others once
answered.
Here's my story.
I'm a 30-Year-old African American Male, who was
voted best looking in High School, and I make over
100K/year.... So I generally do not have that hard
of a time initially meeting women... But would
always screw it up with the women that I really
found interesting... I was being a wuss...
I'd meet multiple women in a night out with the
boys... There would be the one's that I really
liked... The 9+'s, and the one's that I kinda
liked, but was not too excited about... The 6's
and 7's
The way I approached the 9+ was all wussie...and I
usually never even got the phone number, but if I
did, I would immediately try to make her like me,
be a general pain in the ass, calling all the
time, etc. And not get anywhere past an initial
phone conversation.
The way that I approached the 7 was different
because I did not feel intimidated by her...and
most importantly could kinda care less if I spoke
to her or not... I usually had no fear of telling
a joke, or busting on her... The result being that
she sensed the confidence and really liked me...If
it progressed any further she would always reach
out to me.... calling all the time, and be a
general pain in the ass...
So my question is this:
How can I make the same response happen with women
that I am interested in? The hot, intelligent,
9's and 10's...The ebook has helped tremendously,
but I'm not there yet..
Is there some mental trick that I can play so that
I act the same way with all women (cock/funny),
Not just 6's and 7's????
Your help is much appreciated, and much success my
friend you deserve it!!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, you're certainly on the right track...
By the way, congratulations on getting up to
speed and being able to meet one woman every week.
For a lot of guys, that's like saying you can
levitate into the air and fly.
Keep it up, you're getting close!
As for the REALLY attractive women, there are a
few things you need to keep in mind:
1) These women are approached A LOT. And I mean
ALL THE TIME. The real hotties of the world are so
used to being approached by men that they should
all be given honorary black belts in Wuss
Detection And Deflection.
Super hot women have a lot of choice when it
comes to men, so they choose the best they can
get.
If your game isn't REALLY together, you'll do
little things when you're interacting with these
women that will clue them in to the fact that you
don't really know how to play on their level.
And I'm talking LITTLE things.
Remember, these women are approached all the
time by men, and they have learned to make very
quick decisions based on very little information.
A little comment, a certain look, or a little
gesture that hints to her that you want her
approval is all it takes.
You're doing fine... you'll get it soon enough.
Just stick with it.
You're asking me how to meet the kinds of women
that most men would sell their mom into slavery
for one date with.
You're on the right track, and the more you
practice and improve, the more success you'll
have.
And, if you're reading this right now, and
you'd like to really "up your game" when it comes
to approaching women in all different types of
situations, then I HIGHLY recommend that you go
check THIS out:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/ApproachingWomen/
Hello Dave, my question is has follows: What
your opinion on women that work has exotic
dancers? I've generally heard that they have some
type of issue where they feel they need to
dominate/control men, now obviously we can't
stereotype all of them, but generally speaking
what's the scoop on these types of women? A
response would be appreciated.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
BUST THEIR BALLS!
Dancers are notorious for dating brutish,
abusive, loser guys who have no life...
Dancers usually have all kinds of issues...
Dancers are used to men kissing up to them and
giving them money just to look at them...
BUST THEIR BALLS!
Tell them they're the most successful sex
change you've seen lately.
Ask them what they're going to be when they
grow up.
Don't look at them while they're dancing.
If you play their game, you become another one
of the hundreds of dumb-ass guys that they take
money from.
If you completely avoid their game and instead
play your own, you will stand out.
This is where EXTREME ball busting and Cocky &
Funny are most useful.
WARNING:
Be careful what you wish for.
You are looking for trouble if you don't know
how to handle powerful women.
If you're not careful, you're going to email me
next week saying, "Wow, that ball busting stuff
really works with dancers. The only problem is
that she stole my car and all my money, and now
her drug dealer is calling me all the time to find
out where she is..."
If you want a first-class ticket to a Quentin
Tarantino movie, start dating a lot of dancers.
And no, I'm not talking Jackie Brown kind of
freaky, I'm talking FOUR ROOMS kind of freaky.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Dear Dave, I have been reading your newsletter for
about a year now and it works great!! True
genius!!! I have always been cocky and funny even
before knowing what c&f was, you just helped me
realize exactly why I was succeeding with women.
There is this girl who is probably a 9-10, but has
had a boyfriend for some time now. I have been
cocky and funny with her since the day i met her
(btw she's a bartender) and she really seems to
respond to it. She poured me a drink once and
after I tasted it I said to her "whoa this is
really strong, are you trying to get me drunk to
take advantage of me," and she responded by saying
"oh yea baby" and smiled at me and rubbed my arm.
My question is as follows: I really want this girl
and she seems to respond to my cocky and funny
routine, in fact I think she likes me, but what do
I do about the boyfriend situation?? What are the
odds I can actually end up with this chick??
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, so what you're trying to tell me is that
the only attractive woman in ORLANDO, FLORIDA is a
bartender with a long term boyfriend?
Hey, good idea...since there are only about a
million or so single women in your area, why not
pick one who's already seeing someone?
Duh.
Stop that!
If a woman has a boyfriend, just walk away,
man.
Every month or two, when you're ordering a
drink from her say, "Hey, are you still married?"
This is funny because you're busting on her and
at the same time asking if she's still with her
BF.
At some point she'll probably say, "No, I just
dumped him". Most relationships end, so stay in
touch.
And in the meantime, do something productive
with your time... like dating some of the single
women in your area, who don't have boyfriends that
are probably the jealous 6'6" 250 pound meathead
bouncer at the bar who likes to beat up guys for
fun.
All I can tell you is, the guys without money
(some of whom are naturally cocky and funny) get
no women; the guys with money, whether they're
ugly, fat, or dull have the women pursuing them.
That's reality-- I've seen it happen so many times
that it's become a standing joke among all the
single guys I know! Around here (Chicago), a woman
ascertains a man's earning potential within five
minutes of meeting, and if he's lacking, she is
gone in a cloud of dust!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, what you're saying makes perfect
sense.
Except, how do you explain the probably 2 or 3
million adult men in the Chicago area who have a
lot to middle class income who are MARRIED?
I have a good friend who lives in Chicago who I
personally watched get 25 different women's phone
numbers in the course of one weekend.
He lived in a little apartment with a couple of
other people, made very little money, and dressed
casually.
I think you need to get some new friends.
Try making friends with guys who are SUCCESSFUL
with women, instead of guys who like to sit around
coming up with "standing jokes" about why they
suck with women.
Sure, money helps. Duh.
But money doesn't create ATTRACTION. Sorry.
Get rid of your helpless mentality, and get out
there and make something happen for yourself!
Making excuses for why you can't succeed
personally in life is one of the WORST uses for
your amazing mind.
Stop it!
What up dave? There's no longer any doubt that
this stuff works! It's really great to actually
know what you're doing when dealing with women,
rather than aimlessly trying to meet them.. anyway
my question.. I met this chick at a party and
before she left, i asked her if she had e-mail.
She said, "how about my phone number?" I told her
that it's hard to get people on the phone but i'd
take it., she then writes her # down and said "I
wrote my e-mail down too but I'll think you're a
dork if you e-mail me, kind of jokingly. (WHY THE
HELL DID SHE GIVE IT TO ME THEN!!!!!?) Then, other
guys/friends delayed her leaving. so while i was
back with my friends, she came where i was sitting
right before she left and said., "you're going to
call me right", smiling. i was already kind of
drunk and i just nodded and said 'yeah' in an
indifferent tone cause i knew she liked me.. but i
could've said something better!!
1. What would have been cocky+funny thing to say
when she said .."but I'll think you're a dork if
you e-mail me.." and should i then proceed to e-
mail!?
2. When she comes back and asks if I'm going to
call her, what's the best thing i can say to bust
on her in this situation?
I appreciate everything you're doing, David.
please keep the newsletters coming!
>>>MY COMMENTS:
To answer the "I'll think you're a dork if you
email me" I probably would have said:
"You'll think I'M a dork? Hey, you're the dorky
CHICK who has email..."
And when a woman says, "you're going to call
me, right?" it means that she's REALLY into you...
as you know.
So why not smile and say, "Why should I? What's
in it for me?"
Then, when she says, "What do you want?" you
can answer with all kinds of great things...
"Money"
"Can you cook?"
"Can I have anything I want?" (my personal
favorite)
...this is a great line of humor, and women
love it.
thanks for all your great info that i have been
receiving over the past several months. i have
been putting into practice the things i learned
from your e-book and newsletters with much
improved results in the dating scene...........in
a few of your newsletters you mentioned that
jealousy is the strongest of all emotions. how do
you deal with it if it is the woman who tries to
make you jealous. what's the best mindset and way
to handle it David.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Jealousy is an interesting topic.
I'm not sure that I said it was the "strongest"
of all emotions... but I probably did say that it
was one of the most powerful.
Jealousy causes people to do all sorts of
stupid things... but it can also keep
relationships together.
If a woman knows that other women are
interested in you, she'll want you more.
If a man finds out that his girl is sleeping
with another man, he can fly into a rage that
often leads to violence (or worse).
Women are notorious for trying to make men
jealous.
Many women intuitively realize that jealousy
will make a man more interested and make him work
harder for her attention and affection.
If a woman tries to make me jealous, I just
laugh.
If she says:
"Oh, this guy I used to date called me last night
to see if I was single..."
I might laugh and say:
"Well you should go out with him."
At this point a woman will usually realize that
what she's doing isn't working and say, "No, I
don't like him, why did you say that?"
It's important to overcome the natural tendency
in life to have your emotions triggered by outside
events.
It takes some work in many cases, but it's
worth it.
Jealousy is an almost useless emotion. Do your
best to realize that you don't need it... and then
communicate that you're not easily played... and
you don't get jealous over other men.
Works wonders, and makes you even more
attractive.
I met this girl...and I know that she is the one
for me. I can feel it, and have felt if since I
first met her. At first, I can tell she was
attracted to me...we hung out for like 13 hrs the
first time we ever met, went out after that, and I
had used the cocky - making fun of her thing. Then
I got all wuss like and told her how I felt.
Now, we don't see each other all that often, I know
that she has gone out with another guy, and she
told me that he was a total dick to her.
Question is...can I get her attraction to me back
by starting to do the cocky thing again??? This
along with talking about other women that I am
talking to and hanging out with...would this
possibly get her interest back in me??? I need
help on this. Thanks J
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, you need help on this.
HELLO?
Why did you stop doing what worked originally?
Don't make me come down there and shake you!
You're probably out of luck at this point, but
if you want to try and MAKE some luck, then get
back to doing what works.
You don't need me to tell you this stuff again.
Don't be a Wussy, man. Women aren't attracted
to Wussies.
I read your ebook a few weeks ago and like
everyone else, I am going to suck up to you and
say its great. These tips really helped me out in
the dating life. To the problem, I've known this
Italian girl since the summer. It started out as
an Internet thing in a chat room as with my natural
humor and new set of balls, I got hooked into me.
Fast forward to a few months in November, we still
kept talking and views me as a "Friend", even
though we didn't even send a single picture to one
another. Things are going so well, that *she*
decides that we should meet up somewhere. We did,
and I bet every reader in this room would be very
very very jealous if they saw me with this girl.
Things went well on this "get together", I busted
her balls, made her laugh, and her facial
expressions were mostly "What the.." look with
sometimes leaving her speechless. At the end, she
said I was definitely a keeper..wee. Fast forward
to a few days ago, and now she tells me that she
had sex with her ex-boyfriend who "she loved" and
hasn't seen a long time. The reason why they
broke up is because he had to move, they were both
in good terms. Even though the ex is currently
seeing someone else, who he claims he is not
interested in this "other", they still did it. She
said at the end that she views me as a "friend"
My question: What gives? She was taking
initiative to even *ask* me out, which is
something that 0.001% of girls ask for, she
compliments me, kisses me, the whole package, yet
just a few days ago she tells me that she loves
her ex?
For some reason I am going to get the feeling you
are going to go on with my life, wish I could, but
even though I did "double my dating", my dates
haven't been all that fulfilling. Lets say my
best date besides this one was some Swedish Figure
Skater who kept talking about her past 90000
boyfriends.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, yeah. I really feel for you.
In the months since you've been reading these
newsletters and few WEEKS since you've read my
book you've dated a super-hot Italian girl and a
Swedish Figure Skater.
And your dates haven't been "all that
fulfilling."
Bummer, man.
OK, as for your Italian girl who slept with her
ex.
These things happen, man.
Welcome to life on Earth.
My book is called "Double Your Dating," not
"How To Make Sure Every Relationship With Every
Woman In Your Life Turns Out Like A Movie."
Get out there and date some more women!
That'll get your mind off of the Italian girl
(who you obviously feel attached to)... and onto
some other super-babes that you have yet to meet.
Well I've read your e-book for about the 4th time
now. I'm most likely going to read it at least
that many more times. I'm just starting to put
your teachings into the real world. The first time
out I was with 2 of my buddies and 2 women that
they both new a lot better than I did. One girl is
a 8/9 the other is a solid 9. Well my buddy was in
the process on dating the 8/9 so I started to work
on the 9. I did the C/F routine, but I think I was
a little short on the funny but after all my
teasing and busting she still smiled and laughed.
I told her some stuff about how "hotties" view men
and how beauty was like a curse to them. She
seemed to look at me like I could read her mind.
But after that she kind of drifted from me and
eventually went over by the guys that I bet her
would all sleep with her in a heartbeat.... who
all acted like ass kissers might I add. My
question is...did I scare her with my knowledge of
knowing so much of her game? Also it is really
hard for me to work in a group of people. How can
you really focus your skills when everybody is
always switching who they are talking to. I'd say
for a first time out it with my new tools it
wasn't a loss but more of a tie.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
A "tie?"
And what were you trying to do with this girl,
win a popularity contest?
Did you ask her for her email?
No.
Did you ask her for her number?
No.
Quit talking so much about losers who like to
kiss ass and act like Wussies, and start thinking
NEXT STEP.
Remember the bonus booklet that you got with
"Double Your Dating" called "Bridges?"
This booklet teaches you how to go from one
step to the next.
The principle is that you need to know where
you are going... and then take steps to get there.
What... did you expect this girl to jump on
your lap and say, "Let's get out of here!"?
Lighten up on being the profound guru a little,
and start thinking NEXT STEP.
You didn't have a "tie" here, you had a "I
didn't do what it takes to win" here.
I have been reading your emails for about 6 months
now, and I gotta tell you. You're words and
advice have helped me with my life more than
anything else *ever*. I have gone from getting a
date with maybe one average looking girl every 4
months, to getting 7 or 8 dates from very
beautiful women in less than 2 weeks. My
confidence is skyrocketing, and women I would have
automatically accepted before (based on their
above average looks) are now often unacceptable in
one way or another (usually due to neurotic
behavior).
I have been changing my patterns and even people at
work are noticing the difference. I am way more
confident when confronted by my boss. I have gone
so far as to make cocky/funny jokes at his expense
hehe (surprisingly, it had the same effect on him
as the women, he's started following me around,
YIKES). I am attempting to find humor in every
situation. Even being stalked by my massive...
scary... hulking, boss (God help me).
I am still not at the place I want to be, but like
anything new, practice makes perfect (I imagine
buying your book and DVD set may help too). I can
actually notice daily improvements as I apply
these principles to my life.
Thank you so much David. Who knows, I may even get
a raise ;)
Quick question: I have had so many girls talk to
me about their problems like right away. I agree
with what you say about becoming a dumping ground
and how it has 'wussy' written all over it. Do
you have a few examples of how I could stop this
behavior without scaring them off or making them
think I am some kind of a**hole?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, first of all, congratulations on getting
7-8 dates from beautiful women in 2 weeks. You're
the man.
To answer your question about what to say to
women who start talking about their problems right
away...
Here's the deal.
When a woman starts talking about her problems,
what she's REALLY saying is, "I'm feeling bad
right now. I think that if I talk about my
problems I'll feel good... so that's what I'm
going to do."
I hope you're with me here.
Most guys go along with this, and try to be
"nice" about the whole affair.
If you're like I used to be, you actually TRY
TO HELP.
Well guess what?
This is a REALLY bad idea if you want a woman
to feel ATTRACTION for you.
The BEST thing to do in these situations is to
make her FEEL BETTER.
And being a "nice" Wuss Bag Girly-Man Therapist
isn't the way to do it.
Try this:
Next time a woman starts with the problems,
just interrupt her and say, "Hey, whoa... wait a
minute here... do I look like one of your
GIRLFRIENDS?"
She'll say, "No."
You say, "Great, then don't talk to me like I'm
one of them, OK?"
Continue with:
"If you want therapy, I'm going to have to
charge you at LEAST two hundred an hour... I'm
expensive. I'm in WAY too good of a mood to listen
to this stuff for free."
Now, you MUST remember something here.
You're NOT trying to come across like a
heartless bastard when you say this stuff.
What you ARE trying to say is, "Hey, you have
girlfriends, and their role is comforting you and
talking about things. I'm not your girlfriend. I'm
the person who you feel GOOD when you're around...
the one that cheers you up... the one that keeps
you interested."
This is a VERY important distinction.
You must understand and believe this when you
do it, or else you'll just come across like a
selfish prick.
I've done this exact thing NUMEROUS times in my
day, and almost EVERY time the woman stops,
laughs, and says:
"Oh, sorry. You're right... so what are you
doing?" etc.
You can COMPLETELY change the mood and tone of
a situation if you stand up, act like a man, and
refuse the invitation to be her free Wussy
Therapist Buddy.
But you really need to remember that a generous
helping of Cocky & Funny will make this work best.
If you listen to her problems and act like a
girlfriend, then that's what you're going to turn
into.
And thanks for the compliments... I get a lot
of feedback that this stuff helps in a lot of
different areas of life, and I know that my own
life has improved in many different ways as a
result.
Oh, and you're right about the fact that
investing in my DVD program will REALLY help your
success.
I guarantee that you'll be slapping yourself
and saying, "What the hell have I been waiting
for?"
If you've been dating average women, you'll
start meeting SUPER hot women.
If you've been running into a challenge, this
program will solve it for you.
And if you're reading this right now and you've
been thinking of investing in my Advanced Dating
Techniques CD/DVD program, then you need to do it.
It comes with a 100% satisfaction guarantee...
if you're not thrilled, and it doesn't take your
game to a whole new level, just ask for a refund.
Really.
I want you to be one of the success stories in
the next Mailbag... go check out the details here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AdvancedSeries/
And in this Mailbag you've also heard from a
lot of guys who are using my original eBook
"Double Your Dating" to improve their success with
women and dating. It comes with three additional
free bonus booklets, and it's a complete
introduction to my principles and techniques. Of
course, it also comes with a 100% guarantee. Go
download your copy here... you can be reading it
in literally a few minutes from right now:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/eBook/
I'll talk to you again soon.
David D.
P.S. Don't forget to look at my online "catalog"
of different programs... each one designed to help
you learn a different aspect of becoming more
successful with women and dating. You can see them
all, plus watch video clips here:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/
--------------------------------------------------
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