Q. Dave i just have to say that your Audio Series kicks some major ass!! There is a God, and in this case it's you man! I haven't ever gotten so much out of any help program such as this one.
I absolutely love it and anyone who purchases it will never want their money back!
However, I have a question concerning gift ideas for those involved in relationships. I am desperate for gift ideas for my girlfriend that I've been dating for 7 months now. Of course, there are also other times that couples should exchange gifts: birthdays, Valentine's day, and the big one... the one year anniversary!
I desperately need help with these as well. What have u gotten your long-term girlfriends for Christmas? Their birthday? On Valentine's day? The one year anniversary?
I'm the type of guy who just HATES to spend a ton of money but I want to make everything perfect for this girl because we love each other so any ideas on gifts would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks a million and keep up the good work!
-R.
A. Know what, R? I like your question because it calls up another bigger issue... That issue is when, and if, it becomes appropriate to start doing the things that I try to get guys not to do in the beginning with women (take them out, buy them gifts, give them flowers, etc.).
As it turns out, most men that I know (and most men that I meet and talk to who order my eBook and other programs) really want to be generous.
In other words, I think that deep down....
Most Men Want To Treat Women Well... But There's A Catch
Most of us want to do nice, thoughtful things for a special woman, and have her do nice, thoughtful things in return. The problem comes when we go overboard and start using gifts and favors too much, and start communicating to the woman that we are owned by her.
If you're going to do wonderful things for a woman that you care about, make sure that you:
- Do things that make an impact.
- Do things that aren't predictable.
If you want to give her a nice gift that doesn't cost a lot of money then cook her a meal, then give her a massage, and finally wrap up with feeding her fruit in bed... etc.
Women want things that communicate thoughtfulness. (Not that they don't enjoy diamonds...) But if you do something that says, I was thinking about you, and I wanted you to have a great experience, it will make far more of an impact than an expensive gift that wasn't chosen with care.
But, as I mentioned, don't overdo the gifts and favors. Above all, don't ever become predictable.
If you'd like a world-class crash course on how to be the kind of man that keeps women constantly intrigued, excited, and coming back for more, I recommend that you check this out:
In the meantime, I'll leave it at this: if a woman starts acting overly demanding and spoiled after you give her a gift of thoughtful experience, then you might have a high-maintenance woman on your hands, so pay attention.
Q. So far I've read a lot of good advice on how to handle some of the most common situations with women. But one thing still remains a mystery for me: I have the most trouble initiating a conversation and namely one that will lead to getting her number or setting up a date, etc.
If I see a woman walking down the hall of my college or maybe even at the store, how do I approach her and start a conversation without seeming like just another jerk guy who is trying to get her into bed.
I would like to meet women and have them be actually attracted to me not just have encounters. I never know what to say, I mean sure I could introduce myself but then what? And also once the conversation has started, when is a good time to ask for a number? How much conversation is a good amount or what type of level should a conversation reach so that she will feel comfortable about giving her number out?
Generally I like having friends introduce me to someone because it gives me a good starting point and we both have something in common to talk about: a mutual friend. And once it gets rolling I have no problems, even though I am not the best looking guy. As you said in your last letter even regular guys benefit from this and its true I am average at about everything but I have my share of women.
Initiating conversations with women I don't know or any of my friends know is the toughest for me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks and keep up the good work!
JS Chicago, IL
A. Good questions, JS.
First off, I noticed that you wrote: "How do I approach her and start a conversation without seeming like just another jerk guy who is trying to get her into bed..."
Listen... Do you really think that every guy who approaches women wanting to get into bed are jerks? It sounds to me like you have the concepts of jerk and wanting to get her into bed linked together in your mind.
But in my experience, a woman won't think of you as a jerk unless either:
- She's dating you, you're abusive, and she can't figure out why she can't bring herself to break up with you.
- You're the kind of guy that obviously has no game at all whatsoever, but you're trying to talk to her in a sexually suggestive way.
Are you with me here? Women don't automatically think of regular guys who stop them in the hall or at the bookstore as jerks. And this is especially true if you're interesting, charming, and comfortable with yourself. So the first thing you need to do is stop using your wonderful, creative imagination to limit yourself!
I know many guys that approach women all the time... in the hall, in the store, at clubs, on the Internet, and every other place on the planet... and I've heard of very, very few instances where something bad came of it.
And, in fact, the worst I've ever heard of is having a woman walk away without saying anything at all. The point is...
You'll Survive Approaching A Woman You Don't Know
In fact, I guarantee it. Plus, if you do it in an interesting, charming way there's a very good chance that a woman will give you her name and email/number. But if you don't start talking to her, then the chances are zero that you'll get her email/number.
Here, try this: next time you walk by a girl in the hall, look her right in the eye and give her a slight smile. Then say, "Hey, can I ask you a question?" When she stops and says, "Sure," say: "Are you single?"
If she asks, "Why?" say: "Well, I know someone who I think would really find you attractive. He's nice, funny, interesting... and I think you might like him." And smile in a knowing way as you say all of this, hinting that you might be talking about yourself.
Then ask, "Do you have email?" If she asks if you're talking about yourself, just look at her and say, "Maybe." Get her email and say, "I'll have him email you." Then walk away.
This is a fun way to start a conversation, and the direct "Are you single?" question really throws women off balance for a moment.
There are an unlimited number of ways to start conversations with women, and I recommend that you check out some of my programs for more great info. If you like this idea and you'd like another hundred or so more just like it, then go here:
Q.David:
I just purchased your Advanced Series; I can't wait to listen to it.
I recently saw firsthand what being cocky around a woman can do. I was at a party with some people from my work, and I started talking with this one girl (Actually, she started talking to me). Anyway, she was telling me how she had to wear a different dress because the zipper got stuck on the other one.
A friend of mine who will say anything to anyone at anytime then asked her "Why, because your ass is too big?" Now, I would never think of saying such a thing, and she seemed a bit appalled at first, but guess who she proceeded to talk to the rest of the night? Oh, by the way, he also told her he liked "the dye in her hair."
I have one question for you: I met a girl at a costume party over the weekend. I made a joke about her costume, she played along with it, then when I told her I was leaving she voluntarily gave me her number.
I called her twice, but she didn't return my calls. In the meantime, I was trying to set up a date with another girl who promptly answered my calls, but let's just say she looked a lot better at the club with the lights down low.
So now I want to call the hot one, but I don't want to look stupid because I waited so long. What do you think?
Thanks, J San Diego
A. J, I have to say, it takes game to look a woman right in the eye and ask, "Why, because your ass is too big?" Not for the weak of heart! (I've done similar things, and all I can say is, you'd better make sure that it's funny.)
Now to answer your question about calling the cute girl back...
Look, in the book, "The Rules" (the one that teaches women how to play games to get a man to marry them), the authors recommend that women NOT call men, and rarely return their calls. So, don't worry about it.
Some guys don't like to call women more than once or twice, but I ask you this:
What Do You Have To Lose?
If you have to call her once a week for five weeks until you get a hold of her, what have you wasted? Five extra minutes dialing the phone?
Now, if you're feeling like a needy little puppy, and you're calling her five times a day trying to get a hold of her, that's a different story. But as long as you're getting on with your life, keeping busy, and dating other women, then keep trying until you reach her.
I'll personally keep calling a woman until either:
- She tells me to stop calling her (which has never happened)
- I get too busy to care anymore (which happens all the time)
- I set up a meeting with her
But it sounds like you're really getting this stuff down, so keep at it! And, in the meantime, if you're reading and thinking to yourself Wow, It's REALLY time that I got this area of my life together... and learned how to be more successful with women and dating... then I have five words for you:
YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT IS.
OK, technically that might be six words.
Here's what I recommend: First, go and download a copy of my eBook Double Your Dating. It will introduce you to all of the main ideas and key techniques that I learned and developed over YEARS of working to figure this stuff out.
Even better... the Second Edition has been updated and improved, and now has action step chapter summaries at the end of each chapter... so you can review quickly once you've read the book.
Think about it this way: You can review a couple of chapters worth of main concepts in just a few minutes... before going out, before a date, etc. Very valuable. You can go and download it to your computer right now and be reading it within a few minutes. It's here:
And one more thing: As you probably know, I have an entire program called Cocky Comedy.
This one's famous for teaching any guy how to be funny in a way that creates massive attraction with women. It's one of the greatest techniques I've ever discovered, and it's one of the only things that literally any man can use to spark and amplify attraction with women.
PLUS, conveniently enough, the other place that Cocky Comedy comes in handy is approaching women and starting conversations.
When you understand how to use this technique, it gives you an unfair advantage over other guys in just about every type of situation... and makes starting conversations with women not only easy, but also fun.
If you'd like to get a feel for what I'm talking about, go check out the website and watch the FREE sample clips of the program. Just watching the samples on this page will give you a feel for Cocky Comedy... and a feel for the all-important timing you'll need to learn in order to master it.
Go here to check it out and watch the FREE video clips:
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your friend,
