How good are YOU at handling the "BIG MOMENT?"
In other words: when it comes time to "make your move" with a woman, do you SAY and DO everything just right to take things to the next level?
Or... do you find yourself totally "blowing it" by doing something wrong -- or worse, by doing NOTHING AT ALL?
The difference between these drastically different outcomes is just a few SIMPLE SKILLS... skills that *ANY* man can LEARN -- to guarantee success when it comes time to "make his move."
Learn how to get these skills for yourself, quickly and easily, right here:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/catalog/powersexuality.html
Hey Man,
Today's reader mailbag is about all the ways guys BLOW IT when approaching women...
... and how *you* can do it RIGHT to get killer results instead.
So check out today's reader emails and my responses below (including a powerful "Approaching Women" quiz that EVERY "shy" guy should take right NOW).
Let's dive in:
*** EMAIL FROM A READER ***
Hello David,
I like a girl (20 yrs old) and I am 24. We are all college students.
Recently, she didn't reply to me anymore nor is she seeming online anymore after approaching her. Today, I use a invisibility detector to check if she is online (but invisible).
Then I saw that she is invisible, I jump on and say Hi, I know you are invisible, have a good night.
Then she replied me that "If you know that I am invisible, you should know that I need private time. I try to keep the friendship with you but..."
I wonder what should I do here.
TT
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Listen to me close on this one, TT:
Any time that a woman "blows you off" (also known as doing not-so-subtle things like "hiding" from you online) then I can guarantee you 2 things:
1) It's not some kind of computer glitch -- you said or did something to basically make her want nothing to do with you.
And:
2) At this point, there's almost nothing you can do to fix the situation.
You see, once you come across as "Wuss" or a "loser" when first meeting a woman, it's almost impossible to change her mind.
And again:
It's ALWAYS something that YOU said or did that's caused it to happen!
That in mind, here's what I want you to do...
Stop wondering if there's anything you can do to win her back.
And PLEASE... stop thinking about "confessing that you like her" (the NUCLEAR BOMB of Wussdom).
Instead, take this opportunity to take a look at YOURSELF... why it is you're acting in ways that make a woman block you online... and start figuring out how you can STOP getting these kinds of reactions.
I'll get you started, TT:
I want you and every guy reading this to take my quick "Approaching Women" quiz, and try to be brutally honest with your answers.
Okay, here we go:
QUESTION #1: When you first approach a woman, what should both your words and body language be communicating to her?
a) That you couldn't care less how she feels about you, or how things turn out.
b) That you're very interested in her, and that you'd love to have a long conversation.
c) That you're a bit nervous about approaching her, but it's okay. It's "cute" and "charming."
QUESTION #2: What should you be thinking about as you start talking to a woman that you just met?
a) Getting her number and getting out fast.
b) Keeping a fascinating conversation going with her to make her like you.
c) How to control all that stuttering and stammering you're doing.
QUESTION #3: During a first conversation with a woman, do you:
a) Bust on her and make teasing jokes.
b) Behave extremely politely and treat her with total respect, just like your mom taught you.
c) Offer to buy her some drinks and maybe even dinner.
QUESTION #4: After a few minutes of conversation with a woman, do you:
a) Leave suddenly, telling her that there's somewhere else you need to be.
b) Do everything you can to "lock down" that first date.
c) Linger around her for as long as possible to make sure that you stay "on her radar"
Okay, that's it, TT. Let's see how you and everyone else out there did...
If you answered anything but (A) to every question above, we need to talk.
You see, most guys are just plain clueless about what they're really "communicating" to a woman when they first approach her...
... as well as what they're NOT communicating.
Most guys are basically running around like headless chickens, doing things that they're not even aware of to KILL their chances of success.
Or -- if they are aware of what they're doing -- they're not aware of what it makes a woman THINK about them.
Worst of all:
Because most guys feel so "clueless" and "helpless," they default to saying and doing whatever they *think* will please a woman... mentally anticipating what they think she's going to do and trying to "kiss up" to her.
In fact, if most of us guys could get a realistic look at how much we're trying to act in a way that pleases women, we'd slap ourselves.
So here's what I want you to take away from this quiz, TT...
When you first start talking to a woman, your inner attitude, words, AND actions are critical.
Every thought, idea, and preconceived notion you bring with you as you approach a woman changes your body language.
Every word you say reflects those thoughts.
That's why, if you don't feel confident on the INSIDE... knowing how to control your body language... knowing exactly what to say to create attraction... in other words, how to communicate that you're an in-demand, in-control man (even if you're NOT)...
... then you'll probably be mentally discounted (also known as REJECTED) by her within seconds.
Of course, to project confident inner beliefs and attitudes that ARE attractive to women, you can't just "fake" them.
Shocking fact is, I used to try all kinds of self- help "tricks" and "techniques" to make this happen when I first met a great woman.
But when it came down to it, no matter how well these "techniques" claimed to work, women always seemed to lose interest in me as soon as I approached.
And it was all because I just didn't get it:
As I said, there's no way to "fake" this stuff!
So what was the solution?
It involved acquiring the ability to do 2 things like they were second-nature to me:
1) FEELING confident and in-control on the INSIDE whenever I approached a new woman.
2) BEHAVING accordingly, as if I COULDN'T CARE LESS how it turned out.
Once I learned how to do just these 2 things, EVERYTHING CHANGED for me.
I was suddenly communicating very quickly to the women I wanted that I wasn't just another Wussy or desperate loser who just wanted to get in her pants.
And then women began to REACT to my approaches in whole new ways... MIND-BLOWING ways.
Details about how ANY man can learn to do it, too (in 5 easy steps!) right here:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/catalog/deepinnergame.html
And by the way, TT -- bear in mind that you may STILL get the occasional "blow off" from a woman. You just have to just move on and learn not to take it personally.
Even if she's hiding from you online.
Just get on with working on your "Inner Game"... then getting out and meeting a ton of wonderful NEW women out there...
... women who are desperately hoping to meet a CONFIDENT, IN-CONTROL guy...
... and watch what happens!
*** READER QUESTION ***
Hi Dave,
I met a girl while she was bartending at the place where I used to bartend. I flirted with her for a couple of her shifts when I was there with my buddies. I asked for her number and got it.
I found out that she has a boyfriend of about 8 months. I find myself thinking of her as my girlfriend, but still knowing that she is still going home to him at night.
Everything about this situation tells me to stay away, but I cant help to think that I would be missing out until I follow it through till the end.
Do I put an ultimatum on the table?
J.S. Milwaukee
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well J.S., there are two ways to look at this:
One way is, you need to use a little common sense and understand an important fact:
SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND.
And , although I admire your confidence that you have a shot at getting her if you try, I really don't recommend it.
It's because, first off... did I mention... SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND!!!
Therefore, even if she responds to your "ultimatum" by deciding to drop the other guy, things could get messy for you if this guy's in the vicinity, you know what I mean?
And who needs that?
Second: the fact that she's so willing to flirt with you while she's still with him... even possibly drop him for you... should have you thinking.
Maybe she'd be willing to do the same to you down the road.
So... unless you're just looking for some dates and some dangerous fun... your time and effort would be MUCH better spent on meeting an AVAILABLE, high-quality woman at this point.
You'll be glad you did.
*** READER QUESTION ***
I have a really good friend of mine who I asked out before I began reading your material and she rejected me. I didn't take it personal... but ever since then our friendship has grown stronger, and now its to a point where I like her and she clearly is attracted to me.
I have used the C&F routine on her every time we hang out... she always wants to hangout with me.
She is very flirtatious when she is with me. I don't know if I should move on, or go against your teachings and make a move.
GS
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Hey GS,
Want to know how you can "make a move" at this point and NOT go against my teachings?
Just go ahead and do it!
That's right -- by getting off that hesitating, uncertain, insecure Wussy-fence that you're sitting on... and just TAKING ACTION to see where you stand with this woman... you'll NEVER have to worry about going against my teachings.
In fact, you'll be following my teachings to a T.
Now, of course, if she rejects you again, and instead of finally moving on you hang around... constantly calling her... running errands for her...
... THEN you'll be going against my teachings (and everything that it means to be a REAL MAN) big time.
Then I'm going to have to come over and slap you.
But, until then, here's how I suggest that you proceed with this woman:
When the time feels right, don't "ask" before you make a move.
There's nothing wussier (and more likely to shut down any feelings of attraction a woman may be starting to feel for you) than "asking" for permission.
So just go for it, preferably using my "Kiss Test".
You can learn more about that one here:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/catalog/ebook.html
But there's also a deeper issue here that we need to talk about.
Here's the thing...
I often say that one of the most powerful ways to amp up attraction before "making your move" with any woman is to leave her wanting more.
So, if when you're getting "mixed" signals from a woman like this, I recommend that you immediately make yourself a bit SCARCE in her life.
This leaves her intrigued and wondering what's up... the best way to ramp-up ATTRACTION.
In the meantime, go out and get another woman's number and email. And then another. And another.
See what's going on here?
You're establishing a whole other mindset.
You're becoming the one who's in control and sets the rules about how things are going to go in your love life.
You have to run the process of meeting and getting dates with great women like a business.
Don't count on one woman for success. Go out on the weekend and get 20 numbers, then call them all on Monday and set up dates for the week.
Once you get into a pattern like this, you'll become much more of a "natural" at creating attraction in "hesitant" women like the one you talk about in your email...
... and in EVERY OTHER woman as well.
In fact, just about every man alive can use a refresher in one way or another on how to attract a woman and make a move, so let's quickly review my main concept:
ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.
This basically means that a woman doesn't consciously CHOOSE to feel attracted to a man.
Attraction happens for reasons that seem very illogical to most men, the biggest among them being what I mentioned above:
Before you make your move with a woman, she needs to feel like you're not easily accessible, at her beck and call, and always around.
Yet what do MOST guys usually do?
They call a woman three times a day... they run errands for her... they and want to see her all the time.
They basically become predictable, expected, and uninteresting instead of ATTRACTIVE. So they get no reaction... or a BAD reaction... when they try to make their move.
Ugh. It's never pretty.
More importantly... this then creates a lack of confidence that spills over into other areas of his life as well.
It blows up into a MAJOR insecurity issue that can cause a lot of problems throughout a man's life.
This is a HUGE deal.
Let's face it... just about everything about how a man feels about himself is tied to his success with women!
More of the fascinating, life-altering details on that here:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/catalog/onbeingaman.html
Hope it helps.
Then again...
If you USE all of this information, I won't have to "hope" that it helps.
I absolutely *know* that it will.
***QUESTION***
Dear Dave,
I recently got out of a casual dating relationship. This particular girl dumped me and said she wants to be "friends."
She wouldn't let me kiss her on any of our five dates, because of reasons like "spontaneity" and "not knowing me well enough."
What's up?
CR
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Hey CR, there seems to be a lot of this going around today.
"What's up," you ask, when a woman won't kiss you after five dates because "she doesn't know you well enough"?
Geez.
What's a girl have to do, hit you over the head with a 9-iron until you get the message?
How about a hockey stick?
Anyway.
Like I just told GS, the key for becoming more than "just friends" with a woman is this:
Creating the magical emotion called ATTRACTION inside her.
It's all that matters.
Period.
And I could end this answer with that.
But I'm hearing these problems so much that I want to go deeper for every guy who keeps doing the wrong things with women... then wonders why he can't even get a kiss.
If you take nothing else away from this mailbag this week, take away this:
Once you know how to make a woman feel attraction for you, there's nothing she can do about it.
She'll becomes helpless with wanting to be with you.
Hell, she'll even do most of the work to make it happen!
Until you totally accept this fact and live by it, you're doomed to remain the kind of "nice", overly accommodating, uninteresting, predictable, boring guy that no woman wants to "be with", if you get my meaning.
Now listen... I know exactly what you're thinking at this point...
It's the same thing that every lifetime, card- carrying "wuss" tells me when I explain this for the first time...
They tell me that women should be treated like queens... that making them "fall in love" is all about being their "knights in shining armor"... being sensitive and catering to their every whim.
To which I say this:
How's that been working out for you?
But we already know the answer, don't we?
It's leading to women telling you that you lack "spontaneity" and they don't "know you well enough" to get physical with you.
Basically, a fate worse than death.
That's why, CR, I hope that some of this hits home and gets you thinking about taking action to change things.
Otherwise, women will just continue to test you to see if you're the kind of "real man" they want to get physical with -- and when you fail that test, it'll be "game over."
I mean... why do you think so many women end up with "jerks" that you can't believe they're with?
It's because, as a woman begins to feel the "real man" vibe that's usually associated with "jerk" behavior, it stirs certain responses in her.
Responses that cause her to put aside logic and reason in the effort to be with him.
Pay attention, now, CR...
This is why, if you can't pass her tests by responding to her in "real man" ways (e.g: by being confident, unpredictable, cocky & funny, in- control, etc.) then you've got no chance with her.
So, to answer your original question, here's "what's up" CR...
I'd bet the farm that you've been acting like an insecure Wussbag around this woman instead of like a "real man."
You need to STOP DOING THIS.
As in, right now.
But I know... easier said than done, right?
Well guess what...
That's what I used to think, too.
But then I made it my mission to start learning WHAT WORKS to make women feel that irresistible "real man" vibe, and I'm not going to lie:
It took a VERY LONG TIME to figure it out.
It took YEARS to discover how making just a few SIMPLE changes in my behavior with women could CHANGE EVERYTHING for me in both love and LIFE.
And I do NOT want you to have to go through what I did -- those YEARS of experimentation, observation, and research -- to get up to speed on this.
That's why I've pulled together EVERYTHING I learned about becoming the kind of "real man" that women FIGHT each other to be with into one place:
It's my legendary "Man Transformation" program.
If you feel like there's something "missing" in how you feel about yourself (and therefore how you interact with women) then I GUARANTEE it:
Watching my "Man Transformation" program is the place that YOU need to be right now.
Click here for a FREE PREVIEW:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/catalog/mantransformation.html
Now get on it, then let me know how it goes.
Oh... and a note to all of you:
Keep sending me those emails, and keep checking back here for my next mailbag answers.
The next one may be EXACTLY what YOU need to hear.
Until then...
Your friend,
David D.
P.S. Ever wonder how it feels to walk into a room and know that you could get a date with the most attractive women there?
Here's the hidden "magic secret" to making this fantasy a reality:
Learn how to build an INSTANT EMOTIONAL CONNECTION with that woman... all in a way that NO OTHER MAN knows how to do... and you'll instantly come across as the "Mr. Right" she's spent her whole life looking for!
Here's how to do it:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/catalog/becomemrright.html
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